


For Everything A Reason

by cosetteeverdeen



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, F/M, Gen, Hunger Games, Marriage, Mentors, Multi, Pregnancy, Protective Siblings, Siblings, Tributes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2014-03-27
Packaged: 2018-01-04 08:46:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 71,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1078962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosetteeverdeen/pseuds/cosetteeverdeen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the 72nd Games, a very close brother and sister pair are sent to represent District Five. Evander leaves behind his pregnant new wife and Sparrow leaves behind all hope of ever regaining a happy life after a tragedy. Both siblings want to get the other home, but will either of them make it out alive? Full of new, original characters and romance, action, drama, suspense, and anything else you could imagine. I started this in April 2012 and am just now bringing it to a close - obviously my writing has grown better since then.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_“Hope” is the thing with feathers -_

_That perches in the soul -_

_And sings the tune without the words -_

_And never stops - at all -_

 

_And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -_

_And sore must be the storm -_

_That could abash the little Bird_

_That kept so many warm -_

 

_I’ve heard it in the chillest land -_

_And on the strangest Sea -_

_Yet - never - in Extremity,_

_It asked a crumb - of me._

  
__(Emily Dickinson)_ _

* * *

            One more year.

            That was what Sparrow Jacturna was thinking as she woke up way too early that Reaping Day. She was seventeen years old, and if she could get through this ceremony, she’d only have one more year to be chosen. If she could just avoid having her name drawn two more times, she would be safe for the rest of her life.

            Today was the last time her older brother would ever be in the drawing. Evander was a year older, and his name was in there seven times. Hers was in there six. And today was the first time their younger brother Arden risked being chosen. The Jacturnas were fortunate; they worked hard enough to supply their family of two parents and four children so that none of them had to apply for tessera. There were plenty more children who stood a much higher chance of being sent to the slaughter.

            She couldn’t stay in bed anymore, even though it was just barely dawn when she awoke. Her hands fidgeted nervously and she kept sighing as she went into the bathroom, quiet as a mouse across the wooden floorboards. Her brothers and parents were still sound asleep, and none of them knew what could await them that afternoon. Maybe they’d be safe once more; maybe one of them would be in the arena in a matter of days. No one could ever be sure.

            She shivered as the cold water rushed over her bare skin and her thick honey-colored hair. Thinking about Reaping Day was really of no use; it was going to come whether she liked it or not. The idea of Arden or Evander’s names being drawn made her stomach churn and she swallowed, leaning her hands against the shower wall and just standing there for a moment, soaking herself. It could be worse. They could live in one of the districts much, much worse off then Five. At least District Five stood a chance, both at home and in the arena.

            “Sparrow! Let Arden in!” Irene knocked at the door, which startled her daughter into turning off the shower. She stepped out and wrapped a towel around her wet body, embarrassed. How long had she been in there? Maybe an hour, maybe more…her thoughts had run away with her. Trying to picture who would be chosen, trying to imagine what the Capitol was really like with those lavish furnishings and outrageous clothes, trying to see what the arena would be this year…

            “About time,” Arden muttered as he glanced at his only sister. He was sour, understandably so. No twelve-year-old wanted to face the day where they stood a chance of being sentenced to death – nor did any other eligible child, for that matter. He shuffled into the bathroom and slammed the door shut, almost hitting Sparrow on her way out.

            “Looking good,” Evander winked at Sparrow. He was in a much better mood; or at least he was better at hiding whatever he really was feeling. “That your outfit for today?” he motioned to the old white towel wrapped around her frame.

            “Morning, Sparrow,” came a soft, sweet voice from Evander’s room. There, in all her beauty, was Aurelia, Sparrow’s best friend ever since she could remember. She wandered over to her husband of six months, rubbing his upper arm affectionately. “How’d you sleep?”

            “Oh, I slept alright, after you two quieted down,” the blonde smiled, teasing them. She laughed at the blush that spread across Aurelia’s face. “I’m off to get dressed…Mom should have breakfast done soon. I’d eat now, Arden’s going to be in the shower for a while.”

            Evander bit his lip, but he put on a smile and kissed Aurelia’s cheek. “Come on, mommy,” he whispered, rubbing her belly. He looked up to say something more to his sister, but she had already disappeared into her bedroom.

* * *

 

            The dress she had this year, the same as last year, was a breezy, seafoam-green colored one. It had a bow that tied around the back and it was ruched under the breast. She dried her hair and put on the dress, staring at herself in the mirror for a few moments. What if this was the last time? What if she was chosen, and no one volunteered to take her place? It was the kind of thinking that gave children all over Panem nightmares. The Hunger Games were very real, very deadly, and very nondiscriminatory. It was sport, it was good fun, it was the event of the year for some people. For the rest, it was akin to going to one’s own funeral. She couldn’t imagine what it must be like for parents to watch their own child go up on stage – but something similar might happen if Arden was chosen.

            She brushed through her wavy golden hair, satisfied with how she looked. It was good enough. Looks wouldn’t keep anyone from being sent to the Games, though. Maybe they’d get lucky; maybe people would volunteer this year. But that was wishful thinking.

            “Sparrow? Breakfast’s getting cold,” came Aurelia’s quiet voice from outside the door. Sparrow blinked out of her daydream and opened her door, smiling, but looking exhausted and anxious at the same time.

            “You got enough for both of you?” she asked, glancing at her sister-in-law’s very pregnant tummy. Aurelia was due in a matter of weeks, and there was always the chance she could give birth a little early. Hopefully nothing of the sort would happen at the Reaping, though that would be one for the books.

            The dark-haired girl smiled warmly and rubbed her belly. “Yes, I think he’s satisfied…I’m going to go get dressed. Ev is still in the kitchen…” She patted her shoulder lovingly and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.

            Sparrow nodded and went off to the kitchen, surprised that Evander had already dressed in his usual dark brown slacks and suspenders, which were over a crisp white button-down shirt. “No shower?”

            “Don’t care that much, sis,” he laughed, drinking a cup of coffee and watching her sit across from him, scooping some eggs onto her plate. “It’s sick, getting dressed up just for some stupid ceremony…I’m just going to get dirty and sweaty from being out there forever anyway, aren’t I?”

            She shrugged and ate a forkful of eggs, seeing their youngest sibling slip quietly into his chair. “Hey, Flynn,” she said softly to the six-year-old boy, who swung his feet over the edge of his chair. He glanced at his two oldest siblings, his green eyes wide and so innocent, so sweet. “What’s up, big guy?”

            Flynn took a moment before speaking, pouting his full lips. “Why do you have to go?” he whispered, swallowing, his eyes glossy with tears.

            Sparrow frowned and got out of her chair, kneeling next to her baby brother and holding his tiny hands in hers. “Because that’s the rule, sweetheart,” she said quietly. She bit her lip; seeing how upset he was broke her heart. Once upon a time she had been that little girl, asking why everyone had to enter for the chance to die. But those days had long since passed. “I know it’s not very nice, but…but that’s how it is here. That’s how it’s been for more than seventy years. Who knows, maybe things will change in the future, but for now…we just have to accept it. I wish I could do something about it, big guy, I do…Maybe someday, they’ll need a hero who can change it, who can get rid of the Games…and that’ll be you,” she whispered, giving him a little smile and ruffling his brown hair. “Flynn Jacturna, the man from District Five who saved countless boys and girls from the cruel and evil Hunger Games!” she announced in a cheesy tone. She smiled bigger and stroked his cheek.

            Evander bit his lip as he watched the two, knowing that what Sparrow was saying would probably never come true – at least, nowhere in the foreseeable future.

            “But…but why do you have to go?” Flynn whimpered, sniffling and wiping his nose on the back of his hand.

            Sparrow looked down at herself for a moment, trying to think of what to say without scaring him. He needed hope, not the fear that he might never see one of his siblings again. “Don’t worry about that,” she finally said, looking back into his eyes, which were the same color as hers. “Hope is on our side. Don’t you ever, ever give up hope, no matter what happens to Ev or Arden or me, or even to you…Promise? Promise me, Flynn…”

            He nodded and then wrapped his arms around her neck, and she picked him up, holding him up by his bottom. She let him nuzzle his face in her neck and rubbed his back gently, giving Evander a small smile.

            They could only hope that this would be the last time Flynn would have to ask something like that.


	2. Chapter 2

_A supple river of mirrors I run on_

_Where great shadows rise to the glance,_

_Flowing all forward and bringing_

_The world through my reflection._

_A voice like a ghost that is not_

_Rustle the dead in passage_

_Leaving the living chilled,_

_Wipe clear the pure glass of stone._

_(Ted Hughes)_

* * *

            “We should get going,” Irene sighed, coming into the kitchen with her husband. She looked around the room, seeing three of their children all dressed and ready for the big event. “Where’s Arden?”

            “Right here,” Arden mumbled, emerging from the small hallway. “Other people are leaving…can we just get it over with?”

            Aurelia appeared next to him in a faded red floral dress and smiled, trying to keep her family’s spirits up. “You know, they’re less likely to pick the people who look happy…you, mister, ought to put a smile on that face!” She pinched his cheek and laughed sweetly, the pleasant sound ringing through the small house.

            Arden couldn’t help but blush and he smiled a little, much to everyone’s amusement.

            “Yes, let’s get going,” Evander announced, standing up from the kitchen table and wiping his mouth off with a napkin. He led the way, holding Aurelia’s hand as they exited the house. Following him were their parents, Arden, and finally Sparrow and Flynn, who was still holding onto his older sister like a toddler would cling to his mother.

            “You know I can’t hold you when I wait up there with the big girls, right, Flynn?” she whispered in his ear as they walked, the sound of the ground below their feet just about the only other sound as other district folk headed to the complex outside the Justice Building.

            He whimpered and nodded, but kept close to her breast anyway. “I don’t like staying with momma and daddy,” he whispered. “I like you better.”

            She blushed deeply, glad that their parents were too far ahead to have heard that. “Shh, baby, don’t say things like that…Mom and dad love you so much, you’re their baby…And I can’t always be here, you know. Some day I have to go off and have my own babies…” She smiled faintly, but it was hard to think of a day where she wouldn’t wake up having two baby brothers to care for.

            More than anything, she wanted to get married and have her own children, her own family, but things hadn’t worked out how she wanted them to. There had been a boy once, not very long ago. He was tall, quite handsome, with dark blond hair and blue eyes that seemed to perpetually sparkle with laughter. His smile was infectious and he could pick Sparrow up like she was a doll, spin her around until she was dizzy, then give her a kiss that would really make her weak in the knees. His name was Huxley. He had given her such joy, until about nine months ago.

_“Sorry, miss, but accidents happen. This one just happened to involve your friend.”_

             But she was only seventeen; she had her whole life ahead of her. Flynn was like her baby, and it was funny to think that Evander and Sparrow were bigger parent figures to him than his own mother and father.

            “We must be some of the last people here,” Evander noticed as they arrived at the square, just more bodies among the numerous already there. “We’ll see you after, alright?” he said to his parents, kissing each of them on the cheek. He seemed so calm, so accepting of his potential fate, that it was like it was no big deal to him. He stood in line with the other boys, his blue eyes watching Aurelia at the girls’ table the entire time. Everyone seemed to be staring at her pregnant belly. Young couples weren’t that uncommon of an occurrence by any means, even married and pregnant ones, but it was still disturbing to see pregnant girls in the pool of potential tributes.

            “Flynn, baby, I’ve got to go,” Sparrow said quietly to her baby brother, who clung to her in denial of the fact. She blushed, stroking his soft hair and kissing his cheek. “I’ve got to put you down, sweetheart…come on. Nobody’s going to buy that we’re glued together,” she managed to joke, but it was getting harder to put on a brave face with each step she took toward the registration table, where she would be pricked and prepared for the drawing.

            “No,” Flynn whined, but he soon gave up the struggle and let Sparrow put him down. She took him aside, getting a few spaces in line behind Aurelia. “Sparrow, I don’t want you to go…”

            “Shh, big guy…It’ll be alright. You can keep your eyes on me, if dad holds you on his shoulders,” she offered with as genuine a smile as she could make. She brushed some hair out of his eyes and sighed, getting a good look at the little boy in front of her. It seemed like he had just been a baby yesterday; this was impossible. Half his life ago, he was an infant, and in that same amount of time from now, he would have his name in the bowl.

            “What’s going on?” Arden asked his older brother as Evander had his finger pricked. He kept looking back at his two siblings who had trailed behind.

            “He’s just nervous…probably more nervous than she is, or you and I for that matter,” Evander replied, giving his brother a reassuring smile. “Go on. It only takes a second, if even that. I’ll get you a bandage when we get back home,” he laughed quietly, seeing a couple people look at him when he did so. What kind of person found humor in Reaping Day? Especially a potential tribute themselves…

            “Come back and play with me when it’s done,” Flynn whimpered, barely managing to hold back tears as his sister stroked his cheek and straightened him up. He looked so sweet in his little overalls and long-sleeved shirt, which Sparrow had bought with her own money. “I…I wanna play castles…”

            “We will,” she whispered, kissing the top of his head and standing up. “Now, go see mommy and daddy, okay? I’ll see you soon,” she smiled, but the sight of him so distraught had a lump forming in her throat. She kept it from turning into tears successfully enough, but it was still painful to see him disappear with her parents. Now it was her turn to wait. She was one of the last children to be pricked, and she felt completely lost as she wound up in the very back of the crowd of girls.

            A few moments passed, which seemed to take an eternity, before a short man appeared on stage in a sparkling golden tuxedo. He had a grin on his face that never seemed to fade, not even for a few seconds. “Well, I believe that must be everyone! So glad you all could make it! And welcome to the seventy-second annual Hunger Games!” his funny voice announced into the microphone.

            No one looked very amused, to say the least.

            Everything seemed the same terrible routine from before. The short video clip explaining the story behind the Hunger Games, the usual cheesy grins and quips from Oberon Chaplet, the famed District Five escort. It was all so sickeningly, hauntingly familiar. Most of the children looked either bored, nervous, or they had completely checked out mentally. No one would admit that they enjoyed the rush of adrenaline provided by the Reaping until it was over, and they and their own family were safe.

            “Shall we get things started? We’ll start with the ladies…Let’s see who the lucky girl representing District Five shall be! The opportunity of a lifetime, for sure!” Oberon declared with his trademark smile. He stuck his hand into one of the two glass bowls containing hundreds of tiny paper slips. He fished around for a little while, making a big show of this all-important, fateful moment. He finally picked a slip, but another was attached to it, and in the moment that he had to let one of them go, a collective gasp was heard. Some girl had just gotten away with her life, while another had been doomed with the worst of luck.

            He unfurled the piece of paper. Sparrow longed to be next to Aurelia just so she would have someone to hold on to; she suddenly felt sick to her stomach. _It’s me. It’s me, I have to go. I’m going to die. I’m going to---_

“Aurelia Toivonen!” Oberon’s voice announced into the microphone.


	3. Chapter 3

_Through the crowd, I was crying out_

_And in your place there were a thousand other faces_

_I was disappearing in plain sight_

_Heaven help me, I need to make it right_

_(Florence + the Machine)_

* * *

            There came a silence so deafening, it almost knocked Sparrow off her feet. That horrible quiet was followed by murmurs and whispers that kept increasing in volume. Everyone was talking; everyone was staring at the nearly full-term young woman in the crowd.

            Aurelia swallowed and her large brown eyes grew even wider. She looked around nervously at the hundreds, if not thousands of people who had gathered round. No, it was not a mistake. Her name, of all the names in that bowl, had been chosen. And it had almost been someone else instead. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, one hand on her tummy, her red floral dress flowing in the gentle breeze.

            It was quiet enough that one could hear a pin drop as the crowd parted to let Aurelia through. Sparrow was going to be sick; all these people who were obviously gaping at her best friend, her sister-in-law, were just going to gawk and not do anything? It was barbaric, absolutely barbaric. They were complacent to send a heavily pregnant seventeen-year-old girl to her certain death. She didn’t even want to know what Evander was thinking.

            It had been about forty seconds since Aurelia’s name was called. She was almost to the stage when Sparrow came bursting out of the crowd, trying to get to Aurelia before it was too late.

            “Aurelia!” she called. Suddenly thousands of eyes were on her instead, and she swallowed uneasily. But she couldn’t allow herself to take this back. It was necessary. It was the right thing to do, and no one else was going to do it. So it was up to her. “Aurelia, come back…I’ll go,” she said more quietly, and the Peacekeeper who had stepped up to hold her back slowly let go of her arm.

            The dark-haired girl’s lower lip quivered. Her terrified eyes went from her young new husband to her best friend and back.  She was either going to sentence herself to death, or let Sparrow do it. “S-Sparrow…no…”

            The blonde young woman nodded. She knew she had to, and there was no other choice, like it or not. The Capitol was not beyond putting children in fragile conditions in their vicious Games – there had been children missing limbs, blind children, deaf children, and now they were seconds away from having their first obviously pregnant tribute.

            “I’ll volunteer to go,” Sparrow said in as firm a voice as she could muster, but it still wavered slightly. Another small, collective gasp from the crowd. Silence. Stares, expectant, waiting, analyzing.

            “A volunteer? How wonderfully exciting! Please, come up here, dear!” Oberon gushed. He grinned that garish smile and reached out a hand in a symbol of welcoming, of accepting the new tribute.

            Sparrow swallowed and she went to Aurelia, hugging her close. “Don’t worry about me,” she whispered in her ear, petting her dark hair as the pregnant girl began to sniffle. “Shh, don’t cry…Aura, don’t cry…I’ll be back,” she smiled weakly, though both of them knew that could be quite the long shot. District Five had a fairly decent track record concerning successful tributes, but a dead tribute was nothing compared to an actual victor.

            “Come on, don’t be shy! Who do we have here?” Oberon asked as Sparrow shuffled onstage, her green eyes looking around the enormous crowd. She felt like she was no longer in her own body, like she was just a floating pair of eyes and she was watching everything unfold from afar.

            “Sparrow…Sparrow Jacturna,” she mumbled quietly, flinching as the microphone was thrust toward her. Her soft alto voice echoed over the square and she swallowed back the nervous lump in her throat. Her eyes wandered to Flynn, who was sitting on their father’s shoulders.

            “Sparrow!” the little boy cried, his round eyes wet with tears. He reached out his small hands, as if he could grab his sister and save her, but that wasn’t possible. The deal was done and her fate was sealed; she was either going to come home in a wooden box or on a lavish train, and the odds were stacked highly against the latter.

            Their father shushed the young boy and set him down on the ground, where he wriggled and tried to free himself, but the older man’s grip was too strong.

            “And Sparrow, how old are you?” Oberon asked. His voice sounded even stranger and more distorted than it usually did; all the stress of the situation was making her dizzy and she felt a gnawing in the pit of her stomach.

            “I’m s-seventeen…” She would be one of the oldest tributes, no doubt, so at least she had age on her side.

            “Well, young lady, we thank you for reminding all of us what the Games are really about… Spirit, and strength, and sacrifice,” he said with a small bow, then began to applaud. The audience before them did not clap, and their eyes were still watching the young woman at the microphone with pitying, curious glances.

            “Anyway! Now that we have our brave, brave female volunteer…let’s see who shall be accompanying her,” Oberon said, making his grin even more impeccably bright as he approached the other glass bowl full of tiny paper slips. He lifted his hand and made the performance as dramatic as possible, reaching in and rummaging around for a few torturously long moments. Sparrow was still staring out at the crowd, seeing Aurelia crying quietly, Evander with a strained look on his face, Arden wringing his hands, and her parents holding Flynn close. Please, God, not Arden…they couldn’t afford to lose another child…

            Oberon at last chose a piece of paper to his liking and unfolded it, his turquoise eyes with the purple borders on his pupils peering over the name a few times. Was it hard to pronounce? Was he deciding how best to give the poor child’s parents a heart attack?

            “Evander Jacturna,” he called into the microphone, and the last syllables echoed throughout the square.

            Sparrow felt the bile rise to her throat and her eyes became bloodshot as the tears proved impossible to hold back. She held her hands behind her back to hide the fact that they were trembling, and she watched in horror as every head turned to look at her older brother.

            He fidgeted for a few seconds, as if he was unsure of what to do first. He fixed a few stray dark blonde hairs and took a quiet breath before stepping forward. The young men his age who were gathered around him slowly parted. All the other eighteen-year-olds could take a collective deep breath; they were safe forever. This had been their last chance, and now it was over. A brother and sister were set to go to the Games, and the rest of District Five could celebrate while the Jacturna family wept over the inevitable murder of half of their children.

            “Evander,” Aurelia choked out quietly, and she stumbled over to the rope separating the girls from the boys. She reached out her hand to touch him, but a Peacekeeper came to hold her back. She sniffled as he gave her an apologetic look, and his footsteps echoed as he stepped onto the stairs leading to the stage.

            “Well, with a name like that, you two must be related!” Oberon stated, smiling as the tall, lanky young man finished that fateful walk. “Siblings? Cousins?”

            “I’m her brother,” Evander murmured, the sound of his voice just a mumble as he was too far away from the microphone.

            “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that—“

            “He’s my brother!” Sparrow blurted loudly, her cheeks red and a couple of tears slowly streaming down them. She didn’t care about being nationally embarrassed; she could hardly believe that this was real. All this time she had been worried that it would be Arden, that he would have to face this horror alone…never had she dwelt on the idea that not one Jacturna, but two of them would be sent to the arena in a matter of days to kill twenty-two other children, and then each other. That was if they were lucky enough to survive the first few days.

            “You two will make a great team, then!” Oberon said cheerfully, and he took the two reluctant tributes’ hands in his. “Ladies and gentlemen of District Five, your tributes for this year’s Hunger Games! Evander and Sparrow Jacturna!”

Sparrow couldn’t bear to look at her brother for fear she would start sobbing and make both of them look like fools to the other tributes, to their potential sponsors, to all of Panem. She may as well hang a target on the both of them and be done with it. Even for all the horrible misery of this situation, they could not afford to be seen as weak. They had been chosen and there was nothing they could do about it; now they had to fight.


	4. Chapter 4

_I must stay on the shore_

_I am young, my blood warm_

_I can take you this far_

_Now, my love, we must part_

_When blood and youth were warmer_

_We breathed summer like the sweet air_

_We found each other like a mirror_

_We were so optimistic_

_It was so easy to be_

_We were young and naïve_

_(The Hush Sound)_

* * *

            “Are you scared?”

            “What kind of question is that?”

            The two oldest Jacturna siblings were sitting next to each other in a sanctioned room of the Justice Building, waiting for their family to come say their goodbyes. The sounds of the square being cleared and everyone else heading out to celebrate could be heard through the window, which was opened a crack to let fresh air into the stuffy building. Neither of them had spoken since they had exited the stage; there seemed to be no words that could capture what either of them was feeling. Fear, panic, dread, reluctance, disbelief – and this was only the beginning. They weren’t even out of their home district yet.

            Evander looked at his feet, the dust from the square having settled on his freshly polished dress shoes. “I…A stupid question, that’s for sure,” he said with a quiet sigh. “I’m scared…I’m scared out of my mind, Sparrow, about everything…not just about us, but about Aura, and the boys…mom and dad…”

            His younger sister pursed her lips and set a hand on top of his. “Leave the worrying for later,” she murmured. “We have to be strong, Ev. It’s all about image. Isn’t that what they’ve told us all these years? We just have to have a bark that’s as bad as our bite…”

            He managed a small, halfhearted laugh. “I’m already having nightmares imagining what they’re going to do for our costumes…How many times have a brother and sister been tributes? I don’t remember it ever happening in our lifetime. I’m sure the stylists are having a field day right now…”

            “It’s Reaping Day,” Sparrow scoffed and shook her head. “Everyone is having a field day.”

            They both looked up as the door suddenly opened and their parents walked in, Flynn in his father’s arms and Arden looking sullen as he trailed behind his mother. His eyes looked bloodshot, and Sparrow was surprised to see that he had been crying.

            “Mom,” Evander said softly as he stood up, going over to Irene. He held her close, almost dwarfing her, and kissed the top of her head. “Mom, shhh…it’s alright… We’ll be okay,” he whispered and rubbed her back reassuringly. “I promise. We’ll both be fine…we’ll take care of each other…”

            While Evander consoled their mother, Sparrow gave Arden a small smile, reaching out her hand for him. “Hey, come here, you. I want to talk to you.”

            The young boy shuffled over to his sister and he gulped as she crouched down so they were eye to eye. Normally he was all about keeping up appearances, looking “cool” and that sort, but even he was blown away by the cruel hand fate had dealt them this time.

            “You’re in charge while we’re gone, okay? Make sure you go to school every day, do your work, take care of Flynn and mom and dad…Don’t let yourself get distracted. You’ll only be looking at a screen, Arden. I’m still your sister. I’m right here,” she whispered as she took his hand and placed it over her heart. “And promise me that whatever happens on that screen, whatever you see or hear…I love you, and Evander loves you, and we are going to come back for you. The both of us. Don’t you lose hope…don’t give up on us…” She smiled faintly again and kissed his forehead, wiping a stray tear from his cheek with her thumb.

            “Okay,” Arden mumbled simply. He nodded and let his sister pull him into a hug, which was interrupted by Flynn’s wailing.

            “No, no, don’t go! Don’t go, Sparrow!” he cried, wriggling in his father’s arms. He whimpered and reached for his sister, who swallowed.

            “Flynn, shh,” their father mumbled, trying to restrain his little boy. But the six-year-old was insistent, and he managed to flail his way out of his father’s arms.

            “Sparrow, I don’t want you to go…I don’t,” he whimpered as he hurried over to her, and she knelt in front of him, putting her hands on his small arms.

            “Flynn, baby…baby, it’s alright…I’m gonna come back, don’t you worry,” she whispered and smoothed back his soft brown hair. “I’ll see you in a few weeks…don’t cry…Don’t cry, Flynn, be a big boy for me, okay? Be a brave, strong little prince for me…”

            “No,” he frowned and clung to his only sister, and his wailing grew more intense as the door opened and a Peacekeeper stepped inside.

            “Time to go,” he said firmly, wincing at the intensity of the little boy’s cries. “Your time is up. Come on.”

            “Mama!” Flynn suddenly blurted, and the whole family froze. Sparrow looked at him with wide eyes, and it felt like in that moment, her heart had broken into a thousand pieces.

            “Flynn, I…I’m not…” She bit her lip and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead to hide the fact that she was about to cry. Who was she kidding? She practically was Flynn’s mother, and Arden’s…it was as though she and Evander were the parents and their younger brothers were their sons. Now she was leaving them behind, and the chances of seeing them again were dim. Her mother, her father, her brothers, Aurelia…even the district itself would be missed. One of the Jacturna siblings needed to make it out of the arena alive, so that these games weren’t twice as devastating to the family. The loss of one child was enough, but to lose both of them would be a living nightmare.

            Sparrow pulled herself together as best as she could, but a few tears had rolled down her cheeks. She wiped them away with the back of her hand and cleared away the lump in her throat, looking at Flynn. “I love you. I do. I’ll be back, little guy,” she said in a soft, wavering voice, and planted a kiss on top of his head.

            “We’ll be cheering for you,” their father said with a nod, being firm and strong as ever, but it was apparent that even he was having trouble holding back his emotion. He kissed his two older children on their cheeks and led his wife out of the room before they had to be escorted out. Arden followed them, but little Flynn loitered a few more moments.

            “Come on, Flynn!” Irene called to her youngest son, trying to get him to come to her. She couldn’t stand to be there anymore; she had to get home before the gravity of the situation completely floored her.

            Flynn hesitated before hugging Evander’s legs, and then he hugged Sparrow’s. “Bye, mama,” he whispered, and then he was gone. There was the sound of something small hitting the wood floor, and Sparrow knelt down to pick it up. It was a tiny white button from Flynn’s shirt, barely the size of her pinky fingernail, but it was something. It had probably come loose from all his kicking and flailing. She stared at it for a while, her fingers lightly tracing over the edges, and she was so absorbed in this tiny button that she didn’t even notice Aurelia come in.

            “Evander!” Aurelia whimpered upon arriving, and she pressed against him, sniffling. She obviously had quite the emotional burden to bear, for it was her name being drawn that had sent Sparrow to the stage in the first place. Now she was losing not only her new husband and the father of her unborn child, but her best friend as well. “Oh, Evander…I can’t even believe…” She put her hands to his face and looked at him, her large brown eyes wet with fresh tears that didn’t seem to stop flowing.

            “It’s okay,” he whispered, glancing over at his sister. Sparrow had taken a seat by the window and was still fiddling with Flynn’s button. She knew the couple needed to have their own, separate goodbyes. “It’s okay, Aurelia… You’ll have mom and dad to watch over you, and of course the baby,” he smiled weakly. Yes, the baby…the baby he had been aching to meet for almost nine months, the baby who might never know who his father was or what he was like. He wouldn’t have much to be proud of – just a father who died unremarkably in the games before they ever met. Evander felt his chest tighten at all these distressing thoughts and he frowned, trying to clear them from his head.

            “But you…you’ll be so far away, and on a screen…I can’t help you on a screen, I can’t touch you or kiss you, or talk to you…” Aurelia was a mess, but Evander was doing his best to comfort her.

            “You’ll be taken care of, that’s what matters, alright?” he said, setting his hands on her shoulders. He tilted her chin up gently, attempting to get her to look into his blue eyes. “Aura…Aura, I love you,” he whispered and pulled her into a close hug. He swayed with her for a few moments, and the only sound in those brief seconds was of Aurelia’s muffled crying.

            Sparrow tucked Flynn’s button into her dress pocket and she stood up, watching her brother hug his wife. She felt so out of place, like she was a piece of furniture in comparison. They had each other now, and while she was the one who had introduced them, she always felt invisible around them. So it wasn’t much of a shock when they seemed to pay no attention to her, still intent on taking full advantage of what was potentially their last moments together.

            Of course, had it been her and Huxley in this situation, with Aurelia in Sparrow’s place, she probably would be attached to his hip as well. But there was no use sulking over him. He was gone. He had been gone for nine months now, and it seemed that everyone else had moved on a long, long time ago.

            Her last words to him hadn’t been nearly as meaningful as Aurelia’s. If she had known he was going to die that day, things would have been done differently. Maybe that was why he had never asked her to marry him; she wasn’t wife material like Aurelia was. Good for a few stolen kisses, fun to make her blush, but she wasn’t worthy of a ring.

            “I don’t want you to go,” Aurelia insisted tearfully, but it was no use. Nobody could take Evander’s place now, and it may as well have been set in stone that he wasn’t coming back. “I can’t do this by myself, Ev, I can’t raise a baby on my own!”

            He sighed, chewing on the inside of his cheek, and rubbed her back. “You don’t have to, Aura. You’ll have the family, and hopefully…” He didn’t want to make any empty promises; he knew as well as she did that he might not come back at all. Giving her false hope was not a good idea. “It’ll be alright. Just please…please be strong for me, okay?”

            “And for me,” Sparrow added quietly, a little tired of feeling like the third wheel. She smiled faintly and went over to them, kissing the brunette girl’s cheek. “I love you, Aurelia. Take care of yourself, alright?”

            Aurelia looked at the two siblings who stood before her, her lower lip quivering. “Y-y-yes…yes, alright,” she managed to stammer after some struggling. “I love you too, Sparrow…” She pulled her into a hug and sniffled against her neck, burying her face in Sparrow’s long blonde waves. Just before pulling away, she kissed Sparrow’s ear softly. “Thank you,” she whispered, and her voice was barely audible through her tears. She smiled very weakly, wiping her eyes, and looked up at Evander as he squeezed her hand.

            Sparrow gave Aurelia a small nod and they all glanced at the doorway when the Peacekeeper who had ushered out the rest of the family returned.

            “Yes, time to go, we know,” she muttered and swallowed, not noticing until then that she had been digging her fingers into her palms. There were four little red indentions on each palm from her nails. “Aura…”

            “I love you!” Evander called after her, and Sparrow quickly went to his side once Aurelia let the Peacekeeper lead her out. His blue eyes met with his wife’s brown ones and the moment seemed to painstakingly play out in slow motion until she was gone.

            “She’ll be alright,” Sparrow murmured, taking her brother’s arm with both hands. She let her fingertips run over his skin, trying to soothe him. She could feel how tense he was. “She’s got the boys watching over her, remember?”

            Evander looked at her and his lips turned up in a strained smile. “Of course.” They were the ones being sentenced to almost certain death. No need to worry about everyone sitting safely at home.

            “Ready to say goodbye to the unforgettable District Five?” Sparrow attempted some of her usual dry humor, wanting to lighten the mood. “I bet we’ll fit right in at the Capitol, what do you think? I can see you with green hair…hmmm, yes…Then you’d really be like a tree…”

            Evander shook his head and sighed. Both of them were trying to push all the hurt behind them; moping about wasn’t going to get them anywhere. It was hard to focus on the grueling days ahead, though, when they had been ripped from their considerably happy and comfortable lives at home. Life was not peachy by any means, but compared to the hardships faced by people from the poorer districts, the Jacturnas got along well. Until now.

            The pair didn’t need to speak as they were led out of the Justice Building to the train station, their chaperone flitting around and babbling on and on about all things Capitol. They sat in the back seat of the car on the way to the station, holding hands, quietly mulling over the day’s events while Oberon Chaplet’s words fell upon unlistening ears. Needless to say, everything felt blurred. The people outside celebrating, the Peacekeepers in their blinding white uniforms, the heat of the warm summer’s day – it all seemed so surreal.

           The car stopped and Evander gave his sister’s hand a gentle squeeze. She glanced over at him and they shared a look; a look that said they would be alright.

           “I hope you’ve said your goodbyes and gotten your affairs in order, because here we are!” Oberon announced as he opened the side door and let the Jacturna siblings climb out. He smiled and batted his abnormally long eyelashes, those teeth reflecting the sun so well that they almost blinded Sparrow when she looked at him.

           “I think we’re as ready as we’ll ever be,” she replied.

           “Good to hear, good to hear! Come on, no need to dilly dally…We’ve got things to discuss!” Oberon said as he brought the pair to the side of the train, before a set of doors. “Are you ready to embark on your journey to the Capitol? Hopefully it won’t be your only time!”

           The doors slid open, Oberon let the tributes step inside and he came in behind them, and just like that, they were headed to the Capitol. The familiar sights of District Five, all that they had ever known, began to whiz by and turn into nothing but blurs as the train quickly gained speed.

           “Here we go,” Evander whispered in Sparrow’s ear, and it was only then that he let go of her hand.


	5. Chapter 5

_And so it is_

_Just like you said it would be_

_Life goes easy on me_

_Most of the time_

_And so it is_

_The shorter story_

_No love, no glory_

_No hero in her sky_

_(Damien Rice)_

* * *

            The train itself was unlike anything Sparrow and Evander had ever seen. It seemed to stretch on for ages, and the car they walked into was decorated a deep shade of red. The furniture and dining ware seemed to all match perfectly; whoever chose the décor was obviously, painfully detail-oriented. The pair of siblings looked around the car curiously, both trying to soak in their new surroundings. So this would be home for the next day…it seemed comfortable enough.

            “Come on, there’s a couple of people you need to meet,” Oberon coaxed the quiet brother and sister, who looked at one another before looking at their escort. Now that they were off the stage and away from all those screens, Oberon looked different. He was no longer that intimidating, untouchable man, but he seemed much more human now. His rich, dark skin made for an interesting contrast with his yellow (yellow, not exactly blond) hair, which was styled into a blunt, textured bob. His eyes had been altered to an unusual yellow-green color and they were framed by lashes that must have been three times their normal length. All in all, he looked very odd to the Jacturnas, but they knew from what they had seen on television that in the Capitol, there were thousands of people just like him, if not even stranger.

            When the two of them gave him a curious look, he chuckled. “Your mentors, of course! What, did you think you were going to go it alone?”

            “Right, mentors,” Evander whispered. In all the rush, he had completely forgotten that they would have people taking care of them, helping them with a strategy, and getting them sponsors. It was a relief to know that they wouldn’t be alone. “We have two?”

            “Yes, and they’re such lovely people! You’re very lucky to have them,” Oberon said in that cheerful voice. He stepped behind the pair, putting one hand on each of their backs. “I think you both are going to make District Five very proud,” he whispered and patted them both on the shoulders. With that, he chuckled and led them through the door to the adjacent car. “Antonia? Conall? Here they are!”

A very tall, broad man and a much smaller woman turned to face Oberon, both of them looking curiously at the tributes. The man was incredibly handsome and seemed to be in his late twenties, and Sparrow couldn’t help but gawk at him. The more she stared at him, the more it seemed that his entire physique must have been hand-crafted by God himself. He had light brown hair that was cut just below his earlobes, eyes the color of a clear spring sky, and his lips seemed so soft that she wanted to reach out and touch them. He looked familiar in an odd way – being a victor from her home district, she should have immediately recognized him, but he must have won when she was very small, or even before she was born. Sparrow never really kept up with the victors, so she couldn’t be sure who he was. She could, however, sense him chuckling quietly at her, and she quickly looked at her feet, feeling her cheeks turn red like never before.

            That was when she realized he looked more or less like an older version of Huxley. Thus why she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him.

            The small young woman at his side did ring a bell. Sparrow remembered seeing her running around a dark, fog-laden forest about seven or eight years ago; she would have remembered those eyes anywhere. Her eyes were by far the dominant feature of her face, being such a deep ocean-blue color and practically the size of saucers. The woman couldn’t have been out of her early twenties, and she looked even younger with such a doll-like face. She had almost sickly pale skin and her light auburn hair seemed thin for her age, but she was very beautiful in a haunting way.

            “This is Antonia Marsh,” Oberon motioned toward the delicate woman, who held out a hand and gave a small, shy half-smile. “She won the sixty-fourth games, so you probably remember her…”

            Evander shook Antonia’s hand and gave her a warm smile in return. “I was ten when those happened…I do remember you, I always thought you were very brave,” he said kindly.

            “Thank you,” Antonia replied in a soft voice, and she shook Sparrow’s hand as well. “You’ll be surprised what you can do in the right circumstances.”

            “And this is Conall Fletcher. He won thirteen years ago,” Oberon glanced admiringly at the very tall man, who took Sparrow’s hand and kissed it.

            The blonde young woman’s eyes widened and she stared at him again – she must have looked crazed, because there was that amused twinkle in his eye – as he stood back up. “Conall…Fletcher?” she blurted, and she felt like her cheeks were on fire.

            “Pleasure to meet you both,” he spoke at last, and his deep, rich voice was what truly floored her. Sparrow felt weak in the knees again, like she had onstage at the Reaping. “I’m sorry you had to leave your family…I know how rough that must be for you,” he gave a sympathetic smile to Evander and shook his hand. “But our job is to help you get back home, alright? Do you trust us?”

            “Y-yeah,” Sparrow blurted. Honestly, she wasn’t _trying_ to act like an idiot. “Um…so…so we’ll be in the Capitol tomorrow?” she asked, hesitating before she pulled out a chair at the dining table. Her brother sat next to her, and their mentors sat across the table from them.

            “Just an overnight ride, yes. We’ll be there tomorrow afternoon,” Conall said with a warm smile. He offered Sparrow some bread and she took a piece, trying to eat it as nimbly and politely as possible.

            Oberon beamed at his tributes, who already showed impeccable manners. They were a little on the quiet side, but they seemed like very good kids. “Then you’ll finally see the Capitol! Oh, it’s glorious, I just wish we were there right now! You’ll see your stylists and their teams, and you’ll both be dolled up for the parade tomorrow…it’s so exciting, isn’t it?”

            The brother and sister both nodded, having every intention of being polite. It was in their nature to be respectful and courteous, that was how they had been raised. It seemed to be working in their favor so far.

            “Do you want to jump straight into things, or should we give it a few minutes?” Conall asked after he had chowed down on a few more delicious treats. “We can see the recaps of the reapings in the other districts, check out the competition…”

            Evander swallowed and he coughed suddenly, his food having gone down the wrong pipe. Just the idea of seeing his competition made him nervous. “I…well, whatever…whatever Sparrow wants to do…”

            Sparrow pursed her lips, absentmindedly tracing the rim of her glass with her fingertips. She still couldn’t get over how much Conall reminded her of Huxley, and how much that was undoubtedly going to affect her training. How could she expect to concentrate when she was constantly being reminded of her dead beau? “I think it’s a good idea to check them out,” she finally said, smiling kindly at Oberon as he filled her glass with some more juice. She was starting to warm up to this guy.

            “Very well then! Let’s see who we’ve got on.” The yellow-haired man got up to turn on the nearby television, and soon all five of them had their eyes on the screen. Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith were offering their usual commentary as clips from the day’s reapings played in the background.

            “You know, this little one here, Stella, may surprise us,” Caesar was saying as they showed a small girl with shoulder-length dirty blonde hair walk up to the stage. “She’s from District Three, so we know she’s smart. Look at the way she carries herself – if she’s shocked or scared, she doesn’t show it at all. She handles herself better than most of the older kids do!”

            “Oh,” Sparrow whispered as she saw the girl’s face. She looked so young; she couldn’t have been older than thirteen…She was followed onstage by a gangly older boy with greasy dark hair, whose name was Aran. Neither of them looked much of a threat, but then again, District Three wasn’t a producer of Career tributes. Those were generally more from One, Two, and…

            “Here we go! One of my favorite moments is always District Four…we’ve had such great tributes from here in the past, and some of the most memorable victors have come from here!” Caesar announced excitedly. His hair, lips, and eyelids were colored pink this year, which made Sparrow smile.

            The screen showed the stage at District Four, and before the escort could read off the name of the female tribute, a nearby seagull cawed loudly. This made Caesar and Claudius chuckle, especially when they saw how surprised the escort looked.

            Nothing like taking a Capitol person and showing them what life was like without all those luxuries, right?

            “Here we go…Will we have another Annie Cresta this year, I wonder? Maybe we’ll have a dashing tribute to remind us of Finnick Odair,” Caesar whispered and his eyes widened as the escort opened the tiny slip of paper.

            “Regen Crew!” the tall woman announced in her shrill voice, her lilac-colored hair blowing in the breeze. A boy who must have been at least six feet tall stood up and quietly walked onstage, but he had a very poised demeanor. He seemed quite strong and actually did look quite a lot like Finnick Odair – the same skin color, the same soft sun-kissed hair – but he seemed much more reserved.

            “He doesn’t seem too bad, for a Career,” Antonia murmured, and Evander jumped a little. He had almost forgotten she was there, she had been so quiet.

            “I’m sure he’s good at, you know, gutting fish and the like,” Conall wrinkled his nose. “But you never know. Antonia tends to be right about people the first time,” he smiled reassuringly.

            “Mira Gale!” the escort on the television said into the microphone. The camera panned to a petite girl in the crowd with a medium complexion and short brown hair. Her light caramel eyes were wide with surprise and she blinked a few times before taking those first few steps toward the stage.

            Evander paused as he looked at the girl, furrowing his brow. She had those same defined eyebrows, those bright eyes, that dark hair…She looked so much like Aurelia, it was eerie. “Sparrow,” he whispered, giving his sister a sideways glance. “Doesn’t she…”

            “She does,” Sparrow replied, raising her eyebrows.

            “I’m sorry?” Oberon asked, looking at the tributes with a kind smile. Oh, he was so lovable! Sparrow had completely changed her mind about him within the span of an hour. She had gone from rolling her eyes at him to wanting to embrace him for seemingly no reason.

            “The girl from Four…She looks like, um…She looks like Evander’s wife,” Sparrow explained, licking her dry lips. She stole a brief glance at Conall, who had a small notepad on the table and was taking notes on the chosen tributes.

            “Oh, yes! I remember! You have a lovely bride, I must say…it’s odd to have a married tribute, but I’m proud of you,” Oberon grinned and patted Evander’s shoulder, making the shy young man blush. “Taking responsibility like that and—“

            “Oh, they didn’t get married because she was pregnant!” Sparrow gasped, realizing that that was the impression Oberon had. She bit her lip as the three adults stared at her, and her cheeks turned red. “Th-they, um…they did things the proper way…” She laughed sheepishly and then looked at her lap, clearing her throat and turning her attention back to the television.

            “Now here we have District Five,” Caesar said, letting out a deep sigh.

            “This was by far the most emotional reaping this year,” Claudius shook his head. “A pregnant girl was almost sent, but at the last minute her friend volunteered to go in her place…As you can see, this was a shock for that family.”

            Sparrow swallowed as she watched herself comfort Aurelia, then head onstage. She cringed at how pale she looked, at how obvious it was that her hands were trembling. So despite her best efforts, she did manage to look like a coward. Fantastic.

            “Hey, I’ve seen worse,” Conall offered, raising a brow. “Last year, the girl was a blubbering mess. Literally cried at least four times a day. She didn’t make it past the Cornucopia,” he sighed, looking at Antonia, who shook her head.

            “You’ve got to give yourself credit for not totally falling apart up there,” the delicate woman said quietly. “Look. Look at you…” She pointed at the screen, which was showing a close-up of Sparrow’s face. Indeed, she looked shocked and upset, but there was definitely a sort of grace and dignity about her.

            “You’re so pretty when you’re sad,” Conall chuckled softly. “Aww, look at that, there…Now that, my dear, is the face that launched a thousand sponsors,” he smiled at the blonde girl, who blushed a deeper shade of crimson.

            As Evander’s name was called and the camera went from filming his walk to the stage to Sparrow’s reaction, the siblings found that they were holding each other’s hands again. They looked at one another and their cheeks flushed.

            “You’ll see. You stand a better chance than you think. They’re going to love a brother and sister pair…it’s the next best thing to star-crossed lovers,” Antonia murmured as she took Conall’s notepad to scribble some things down. “The idea is that you two don’t compete, but you work together. That’s stronger than any sort of rivalry.”

            Sparrow looked over at her brother again as Caesar and Claudius offered some commentary about the District Five tributes. Maybe they did stand a chance. Their mentors seemed to be more than capable, and they had faith in them. Or at least they were kind enough to act that way. Either way, things were starting to look up for them.


	6. Chapter 6

_But lately her face seems sl_ _owly sinking, wasting_

_Crumbling like pastries_

_And they scream t_ _he worst things in life come free to us_

_Cause we're just under the upperhand_

_And go mad for a couple grams_

_And she don't wanna go outside tonight_

_And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland_

_Or sells love to another man_

_It's too cold outside fo_ _r angels to fly_

_(Ed Sheeran)_

* * *

             The rest of the reapings went as they usually did, for the most part. The youngest tributes this year turned out to be two twelve-year-olds, the boy from District Six and the girl from Twelve. No more volunteers raised a voice, and no more killing machines mounted the stage. The boy from Seven had a quiet, mysterious air about him, but the Jacturnas had seen enough Games to know that everyone had their own strategy. He could just have had a very convincing poker face.

            “I think overall you’ve made a very lasting impression,” Oberon grinned at his tributes. He couldn’t be more pleased to have such a well-mannered and manageable pair. “In a good way, of course. And that’s what this is, it’s all about making an impression!” He got up to pour a couple of glasses of wine, offering one to Antonia, but she passed it on to Conall.

            “What I’d like to do is split the two of you up, but we’ll still be on the same page,” the pale-skinned young woman said, still scribbling in her notepad. “Conall will mentor one of you, and I will take the other. It doesn’t matter who goes with whom, but each of us will focus on different things. Conall’s better at the physical aspects of it all, while I’ll drill you on more mental things. Survival skills,” she pursed her lips as she took a moment to finish writing something.

            “So are you calling me dumb?” Conall raised an eyebrow and took a drink of his wine, smiling handsomely when he set down the glass. He chuckled, his voice deep and rich, and he shook his head. “She’s right. We’re not going to waste time and try to make you experts at something you’re obviously not gifted at. So you’re going to have to decide who’s more willing to get physical, and who’s more willing to be the survival expert.” He looked at Evander, then at Sparrow, and leaned back in his chair with his strong arms folded over his chest.

            Sparrow licked her lips and she thought a moment. Evander was taller and obviously stronger, but she knew that he would be terribly uncomfortable with hurting another person, let alone killing one. Besides, it would be expected that the male tribute be more physically imposing than his female counterpart. Not many people would anticipate a mild-mannered boy and a fierce girl.

            So, despite the intense shyness she felt around Conall, she looked up at him. His blue eyes seemed to lock right onto her green ones and she could sense the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stand straight up. “I want to fight,” she said, and she noticed the surprised look on Oberon’s face.

            “Good on you, princess,” Conall winked. This made Sparrow blush again and she silently cursed herself. “So Antonia will take Evander, then?”

            Evander looked over at his small, fragile-looking mentor and smiled faintly. There was something so ethereal about her that both intrigued and startled him at the same time. “That sounds good,” he said softly, and his smile grew a little wider as Antonia nodded.

 

            “You two already make a great team,” Antonia said as she closed her notepad and stood up, pushing in her chair. “Just imagine the force you’ll be once you step into the Arena.”

            It was many hours later and night had long since fallen, and Sparrow could not bring herself to sleep. Instead her light green eyes were wide open, and she was staring at the wall opposite her bed. She had no idea what time it was, she didn’t really want to know, but it didn’t matter. She would never find sleep, regardless of whether it was midnight or four in the morning. It must have been leaning toward the latter when she at last decided to crawl out of bed, the silk white sheets so cool against her skin. She glanced at herself in the mirror, still seeing the same reflection of the girl she was less than a day before. Long, wavy blonde hair that was a tad frizzy, round pink cheeks, full chapped lips, a little bit of a bad posture, but they would work on that in the Capitol. Tributes were always preened and poised to look their ultimate best.

            In less than a week, she would be unrecognizable.

            Sparrow quietly slipped out of her quarters and into the next car, running her fingers along the rich mahogany of the table where she had eaten that previous afternoon. She could almost hear her own heartbeat, if it weren’t for the constant soft hum of the train rushing along the tracks.

            “Morning,” came a quiet voice from nearby, and Sparrow would have screamed if she hadn’t just been petrified from fear. Her eyes grew as wide as they possibly could and she grabbed the top of the nearest chair to steady herself. Now she could definitely hear her heart beating – no, pounding relentlessly – against her chest. Her eyes darted around in the darkness until they settled upon a ghostly figure sitting in a lounge chair. Antonia.

            “I…I…” Sparrow swallowed and she attempted to regain her ability to speak. “I d-didn’t expect anyone to be…to be up…”

            Antonia smiled and she shifted around in her seat, her legs tucked under. “Sleep eludes the best of us,” she murmured and watched the younger girl for a moment. “Don’t go…here, sit down,” she patted the arm of the empty chair next to her.

When Sparrow finally sat, still on edge from the fright she had been given, she looked over at the waiflike woman.

            “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost,” Antonia teased, the faint light from the full moon outside illuminating her pale face. “You seem to have a lot more on your mind than my average tribute, miss Jacturna.”

            Sparrow pressed her lips into a line and then licked them. “I’m always thinking,” she replied in a soft murmur. “About…about the past…the future…mostly the past.”

            “You and I have that in common,” the tawny-haired woman said. “So what’s been haunting you, love?”

            Her voice was so soft, her features so beautiful, that Sparrow couldn’t help but feel like she was talking to a sister rather than a woman who had been a complete stranger just twelve hours before. The sister she had never known. Aurelia was the closest thing she had to a sister, being her dearest friend, but it wasn’t quite the same. Her brothers weren’t very good at this sort of talk, either. Flynn was too young, Arden was uninterested in her, and Evander just blushed at the idea of intimacy.

 

            “I know there’s something there,” Antonia continued quietly, and she reached out a small hand to set it on top of Sparrow’s own. “I know that look. I see it every day on my own face.”

            Sparrow used to never frown. At least, that’s what her mother and father said. She was born happy, she was always smiling and laughing, up for anything, patient and generous and kind to everyone, no matter what. The Jacturnas were blessed to have such an angel for a daughter who seemed to raise herself. She taught herself to talk and read, and Evander remembered being intimidated by his baby sister who seemed a thousand times smarter than he was. But she of course wasn’t perfect; that was only the façade of innocence provided by childhood.

            As she grew up, the rose-colored glasses came off. She encountered people embittered by the cruel indifference of the Capitol, children and adults alike who mocked and scorned her family for being better off than they were, and soon the soldiers of the Capitol themselves – the Peacekeepers. District Five was more average than anything. They weren’t dirt-poor, but they weren’t Capitol lapdogs. They weren’t unnecessary by any means, but they weren’t everyone’s favorite district either. Power was a must, but it was measly compared to District One’s abundance of gems and gold. Sparrow grew up knowing what it was like to feel famished, but she also knew that there were children her same age and two-thirds her size in the lesser districts. All things considered, she grew up in an average, somewhat complacent household.

            More than anything, she wanted her own family to take care of. Sure, she had her brothers, but she wanted a husband and babies – girls, in particular. She was so certain that her dream was going to come true when she met Huxley. He was a couple of years older, incredibly handsome and charming, and worked closely with Evander, so she began to see lots of him when she was fifteen. He asked her out almost immediately, and they had the most wonderful two years together. Her happy-go-lucky personality came back in full swing, and she was ready for him to ask her hand in marriage by the time her seventeenth birthday rolled around.

            Then came the day of the power plant accident.

            It was a surreal blur and yet so painfully clear at the same time. Sparrow had been helping out at the nursery school after class when there was a low rumbling that made the walls shake. After taking the children outside to safety, she began to feel a terrible pain in her stomach, like someone had stabbed her and was twisting the knife around and around in her gut. The smoke and the screams were coming from the plant, and Peacekeepers were swarming the place. She left the children with their teacher and hurried toward the scene of the accident on feet that didn’t feel like they were attached to her body, her eyes glazed over as she clumsily made her way through the quickly-forming crowd.

            When Evander emerged from the smoke but Huxley did not, Sparrow felt her heart at war with itself. She was relieved to see her brother unharmed, but she wanted to throw herself inside the wreckage and find her beloved Huxley. Crushed inside of the basement were twenty-three men, one of them being Huxley Fisk. Crushed inside of the basement was the young man she had loved, the one she wanted to marry, the one she had counted on being happy with.

            Evander and Aurelia had been married just a few days before. It made Sparrow sick with jealousy, which in turn made her disgusted with herself. The months dragged on and took their precious toll on her, breaking her down and withering her soul until there wasn’t much left. She was convinced that there was nothing else to live for, but Flynn and Arden proved her wrong. She had been on her way back to the top when the Reaping stole her away from her family, her last remaining refuge.

            She told Antonia a condensed version of this story, and while her voice was soft and small, she managed to convey her true feelings despite never having disclosed them to anyone else. Not Evander, not Aurelia, not a soul other than Antonia. She could never tell Evander, she could never let him feel as conflicted as she did every single day. And a miraculous thing happened when she finished, and looked into Antonia’s eyes.

            The quiet woman had absorbed every careful word and waited patiently for Sparrow to finish confiding in her. By the time she had, the sun was just beginning to peek over the top of the hills. Sparrow was not cured of her inner turmoil by any means, but part of that great weight on her chest felt like it had been lifted.

            “Oh, darling,” Antonia said softly, stroking the blonde girl’s round cheek and looking into her bloodshot eyes. “You’re already a fighter.”


	7. Chapter 7

_I've watched you change into a fly_

_I looked away, you were on fire_

_I watched a change in you_

_It's like you never had wings_

_Now you feel so alive_

_I've watched you change_

_I took you home, set you on the glass_

_I pulled off your wings, then I laughed_

_I watched a change in you_

_It's like you never had wings_

_Now you feel so alive_

_(Deftones)_

* * *

            “Sparrow?” Evander whispered as he sat up in his bed. He hadn’t noticed that his sister had crawled in beside him until just now, upon waking up. She stirred in her sleep and then nuzzled her face further into the pillow, clearly not wanting to be disturbed.

            “Let’s get dressed and have breakfast, everyone!” Oberon’s voice announced from just outside the door, and he peeked into the room through the small window. He blushed a little as he saw the siblings curled up so closely together, and he cleared his throat and decided to move on.

            “Sparrow, wake up,” Evander tried again, this time nudging the blonde girl’s shoulder.

            She murmured something under her breath and rolled over, her nightgown and hair both rumpled from a night full of tossing and turning. “Not already,” she muttered, squinting as the bright sunlight came in from the window. She reluctantly got up and shuffled across the floor, brushing her hair out of her eyes and opening the door to the next car.

            “Oh, hello, sunshine,” Conall grinned as he looked up from the table, a pile of hearty-looking food on his plate. “You look ready to greet the day!”

            Oberon turned to look at Sparrow and he gasped, the horror evident on his face. “Miss Jacturna! Get dressed right now, please! I…oh, I’m terribly embarrassed,” he whispered and covered his eyes, as if seeing someone in their nightclothes was as unforgivable as seeing them in the nude.

            “I was about to,” Sparrow mumbled sleepily, shuffling past the table toward the door, on the other side of which lay her personal car. She turned to look at Conall, pursing her lips in slight disappointment when she saw that he was eating his breakfast and not staring at her anymore.

            “I…I have something laid out for you,” Oberon continued, still averting his eyes from the young girl. He sat down at the table with utmost care, as if looking at Sparrow would turn him into a pillar of salt.

            She soon disappeared into her car and slipped out of her nightgown, standing naked before her bed. Lying on top of her rumpled bedclothes was a beautiful snow-white dress with lace cap sleeves and a neckline that was just low enough to be decent, but still show off her curves. It fit like a glove, and as she stared at herself in the mirror, she had to wonder how they had known it would fit her so well. They must have had an arsenal of variously sized clothes in the train, prepared to fit any tribute, and this one…happened to look like a wedding dress.

            When she emerged from her car and returned to the dining car, where her brother was now seated and dressed and eating his breakfast, Evander looked up. He dropped his fork to the table and blushed noticeably, staring with wide blue eyes at his sister. “Sparrow?”

            She looked around the room for a moment, lips pursed, and then frowned. “Where’s Antonia?”

            Conall looked at Oberon and back to his tribute, his eyes briefly glancing at her body and then back to her pale green eyes. “She’s catching up on sleep, I think,” he finally offered with a handsome smile, but it was apparent that it was strained. “Here, have some breakfast…I think we’ve saved just enough for you,” he chuckled, motioning to the great piles of food still left on the table.

            After breakfast and a while of sitting at the table making small talk, mostly about what to expect in the Capitol, Antonia at last appeared. She floated over to the table in that unsettling silent way of hers, taking her usual seat next to Conall.

            Sparrow caught her eye and for a moment, the two young women stared at one another. Antonia’s wide-set eyes could speak volumes more than her mouth ever would, and with that momentary glance, Sparrow knew that they had forged an important bond. Antonia was not only honorable, but Sparrow now felt confident that she could entrust this woman with her own life and, more importantly, that of her brother. That was to be their unspoken agreement, to protect Evander.

            “Have I missed anything?” she asked, pouring herself a cup of tea and taking a few rolls of bread. She noticed Evander looking at her and she smiled at him, which only made his cheeks turn dark red.

            “No, we were just preparing these two for the Capitol,” Conall smiled and he gave Antonia a look that seemed to quietly ask her something.

            She nodded slightly and took a bite of her bread, and Conall seemed relieved.

            “So once we get there…we have the chariot ride?” Evander asked after a moment. He, too, could sense that something was going on with Antonia.

            “Oh, heavens, no! There has to be lots of prepping before then!” Oberon chimed in as he sipped at his tea, his pinky out, his hair combed back and actually looking somewhat normal today. He was dressed in a suit the color of spearmint and his eyelashes were coated with sparkles. “Once we arrive, you’ll go through your initial cleaning and…and such,” he smiled and his eyes wandered over the pair of siblings. They were both considerably attractive, but of course they needed to be at least ten times as beautiful for the ceremonies. “The chariot ride will be the following day. I can’t wait to see what Hermia and Lennox have in store for you!” he sighed dreamily.

            “Are those our stylists?” Evander was curious to know all that he could now, wanting to improve his game. He hadn’t seemed a very strong contender from the beginning, but he was determined to change that. He and his sister and brothers and wife were all depending on his performance in these Games.

            Oberon blinked his outrageous eyelashes, smiling kindly at Evander in the way that a slightly annoyed teacher might. “Well, of course they are! They’re some of the best stylists around, and Lennox has the benefit of youth on his side. Hermia is a seasoned veteran, so you’ll have the best of both worlds! Why, don’t you remember any of the outfits from previous years?” He sounded shocked, as if these were things the Jacturnas should focus on rather than providing for their families and avoiding starvation.

            Sparrow and Evander sat there racking their brains for a few moments, trying to come up with anything. There were brief flashes of things – silver, gold, bright yellows and whites, gray, sparkles everywhere and lots of jewelry – but nothing stuck out as particularly remarkable. Luckily they were saved from feigning fascination about outfits they couldn’t recall when Antonia stood up.

            “Here we are,” she announced in her soft alto voice, looking out of the window. The train was still speeding along the tracks, but the scenery had changed from lush mountains and greenery to a vast dam, and beyond it lay miles and miles of stone towers and banners. This was no impoverished district. This was the Capitol.

            Sparrow and Evander both scooted out their chairs and bumped into each other as they tried to get to the window at the same time, making Conall laugh quietly to himself.

            “Should’ve brought your cameras then, hmm?” he smiled. He scratched at his scruffy chin, his blue eyes focused on the pair of siblings at the window as the train pulled into the tunnel. Sparrow and Evander jumped back a little, surprised to find themselves in darkness, and then they were blinded by the sea of obnoxiously bright colors that awaited them.

            “That’s them?” Evander asked as they pulled into the station and they got a closer look at the crowd of Capitol citizens hooting and hollering, waving handkerchiefs and clapping. “They’re so…so gaudy,” he murmured, furrowing his brow as the train eventually slowed to a stop. He swallowed and put on a nervous smile for the people.

            “There you go. Make yourselves appealing,” Oberon urged the two, patting their shoulders. He grinned dazzlingly at the crowd and waved as well. “See? They love you already! You’ve just got to appeal to them! And we do that by being well-mannered guests,” he said with a raised eyebrow.

            Sparrow smiled as well, waving along with her brother. All the feathers and dyed skin and strange tattoos and other miscellaneous bodily alterations made her uncomfortable, but she wasn’t going to let these people see that. Her fate depended on their impression of her, and it was no time to fall into her depressed funk again.

            “Come on, then. Let’s meet your stylists and get you ready! Oh, we can’t have you walking around looking like that! You need to be at the top of your game, so to speak,” Oberon said as he motioned for the tributes to follow him out. He went first, followed by Sparrow and Evander, with Antonia and Conall bringing up the back.

            It felt like hours of winding through the crowd and following a couple of Peacekeepers through the halls until they at last reached the prep room, where the mentors and escort had to say their goodbyes.

            “You’ll have to reintroduce yourselves when you’re done. I always have trouble recognizing any of you afterwards,” Conall smiled in his warm, handsome way. He ruffled Sparrow’s hair, which took her by surprise and made her cheeks turn a bright pink color. “But don’t let them do too much to you, alright? Not much work needs to be done. To either of you,” he added and grinned at Evander. “It’ll be a little painful, but hey, nothing wrong with personal hygiene!”

            Antonia rolled her eyes and she sighed softly. “You won’t like what they do, but you’ve got to deal with it. They’ve got very high expectations here, and something like a leg hair is sacrilege. Good luck,” she smiled faintly and turned to leave, Conall and Oberon following close behind.

            Sparrow and her brother exchanged a look that said _well great,_ and she was about to mutter something about the whole process when a very tall, pale woman scurried over to them.

            “You must be from District Five! Oh, you two look so much alike, we’ll have so much fun!” she gasped, clapping her hands together. Her scarlet fingernails, which had to be at least three inches long, clacked together as she did so and she giggled. “I’m Imogen, I’ll be working with you, Evander!” she looked at the young man, grinning with such bright white teeth that it almost hurt to look at them. “So come on back with me, please, and you’ll meet the rest of your team!”

            Evander gulped as Imogen grabbed him by the hand and he was tugged along by the extraordinarily tall woman, leaving his sister behind. She was soon approached by another odd-looking person in a blue robe, though, and taken to her own station. He didn’t expect that they would be done separately…It was the first time he had been without Sparrow since the Reaping, and it dawned on him just then how much he needed her. They needed each other. As the team of one woman and two men made him undress completely, his humiliation knew no bounds, but still he kept looking for his sister. They had purposely set up the room so that none of the tributes could see each other, and maybe that was best for Evander. He could hardly tolerate his own sister walking in on him in the shower, let alone twenty-two strangers staring at him while he was plucked and preened for hours on end.

            “Just relax, Evander,” said one of the men, a short and rotund man with blue flowers tattooed all the way up his wrists to the back of his ears. He began to soak Evander in some sort of foul-smelling liquid, the kind that one was unsure of whether or not they should breathe around. “We’re going to make sure you’re smooth and shiny, in perfect condition for Hermia! You know, it took her and Lennox forever to decide which of them was going to take you or your sister, but they finally just rolled a die! How clever, hmm? You know what? That sounds like such a fun idea for a party!” he gasped, and he began to chirp excitedly about this and a million other semi-related subjects to his colleagues as they worked their magic on the boy from District Five. Their chattering slowly faded into the background and Evander stared at the ceiling, ignoring everything around him and simply breathing.

            What would Aurelia think of all this? Coming to the Capitol, being made over into some exemplar of youth and strength that he certainly was not, wearing odd clothes and being taught how to survive in God only knew what kind of wilderness…taught how to kill. He shuddered at the thought. Sparrow had already said she would take on that job, and while he didn’t like the idea of his younger sister killing fellow children either, he knew she would do the job better than he could. What exactly disturbed him the most about that? The fact that sweet Sparrow would get her hands bloody? That Arden and Flynn would certainly see, or at least hear of what happened in the Arena? That his sister was not a hesitant coward like he was? He didn’t want to contemplate these kind of thoughts, but he had no other choice. It was going to come up sooner or later, and it was better than listening to his prep team’s incessant babbling.

            Like it or not, Sparrow was going to keep them both alive by eliminating their enemies. But was the inevitable blood on her hands her responsibility, or the Capitol’s?


	8. Chapter 8

_I look at her in that paper dress, I wonder why she won’t burn_

_She’s just a paper doll, that’s all, just a paper doll_

_I dress her up, she knocks me down_

_They try her on for size, she fits, nice_

_Now her soul is dead, now her body’s raw_

_You can numb her pain, watch the blood run down her face_

_But don’t take notice_

_Watch the blood run down her arms_

_Please don’t take notice_

_I know you have her soul and I see it in your eyes_

_She knows you have her soul and she sees it in your eyes._

_(Kittie)_

* * *

            It was evening when they finally finished with her. Evander had been done an hour before, but of course Sparrow had needed extra work since there was more to do with her. Her skin felt raw, like it had been scrubbed and plucked to the bone, but when she touched it, it was as smooth as a baby’s. Every flyaway hair, every tiny scar, every chipped nail and even her slightly crooked front tooth had been fixed, and she was afraid to look in a mirror. They had offered her one when they finished, but she had shaken her head, her eyes wide. To her, it was shocking. She could already sense that she was in a new body – someone else’s body.

            She was lying on a cold metal table in some small, strange room with no windows. She had long since given up trying to count the minutes when finally the door opened and in walked a relatively normal-looking man. His skin wasn’t dyed, his hair wasn’t any electric colors, he had no altered teeth or nails – the only thing noticeable about him was his dark brown beard, which had been trimmed into a very ornate design that reminded Sparrow of the paper snowflakes her mother had once taught her how to make.

            “Look at you,” he whispered in a warm voice, and a kind smile spread across his face. “I thought you were a beauty to begin with, but now you’re an angel.”

            Sparrow’s cheeks flushed; she wasn’t used to being complimented, especially from complete strangers. “Thank you,” she murmured, sitting up and hugging her arms over her bare chest. “Th-they said I had to keep my clothes off, so…” She chewed on the inside of her cheek sheepishly, feeling rather exposed. She frowned slightly; her mouth didn’t even taste right anymore. What had they done to her?

            “Well, you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. It’s just a matter of fitting you for your outfits,” the man explained. He stepped closer to her and tilted her chin up, gently turning her head from side to side. “Those eyes are phenomenal, my compliments to your parents,” he grinned. “We’ll have to highlight those, yes. I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this, but you are something special. I just think it’s a shame you had to wait this long to hear it!”

            Yes. A shame that she had nearly gotten out of the Reaping altogether, but she had been sucked in by her own self-sacrificing attitude. A shame that she was being stuffed and made up for the slaughter. A shame that it could all be for nothing, and she would be sent home in a wooden box within minutes of the Games starting.

            _One more year_.

            And she would have been safe.

            Lennox turned out to be a kind man, though somewhat shallow, as one would expect from a Capitol citizen. He was friendly to Sparrow as he took her measurements and studied her body, making note of what to accentuate.  She tried to be open, to let him in, to gain him as a friend, but it was hard to be so pleasant when she was still trying to make sense of all this. He asked her about her home and how she liked the Capitol, but she didn’t have that much to say. Besides, whenever she said something, he took it as a chance to turn the conversation into one about him.

            She had to remind herself to be patient with these people. They weren’t raised the same way she had been, they wanted for nothing. She had no right to think herself above them.

            “I have an idea for your outfit tomorrow,” Lennox said with a smile, and Sparrow blinked herself back into the real world. “Trust me, it won’t be as a lightbulb or anything like that. No, my dear, you…will look fantastic. Stupendous.” He then leaned in and grinned even wider. “Stellar,” he said with a wink, then handed her the simple blue robe she had been given. “Now go on and find your brother. You two have some preparing to do.” He patted her shoulders and watched her leave. Yes, his tributes were going to put on quite a show tomorrow.

            “Are you ready?”

            Sparrow pursed her lips as she looked around at her prep team. Vita, Tullia, and Nerva were three of the most bubbly, talkative people she had ever encountered, and she had no need to worry about having nothing to say. With all their chattering, there was no room to speak. She sat in silent thought as the women coated her in makeup, worked on her hair, and made sure the rest of her was in tip-top shape before dressing her for the evening. Sparrow wasn’t allowed to see herself until the team was done with her, but she was getting a good idea of what she might look like from watching her brother across the room.

            Evander was dressed in a crisp gold suit, the dress shirt underneath made of a sheer silvery-white material. Sparrow could only imagine how many nimble fingers had worked to make their outfits perfect down to the last bit of beading and the last centimeter of fabric. He had never looked so refined in his life, and his sister was smiling as she watched him be fussed over by his own prep team.

            “You look like a statue,” Sparrow observed, and she wrinkled her nose at the faint but disturbing smell of burning hair. Her eyes widened and she turned around to see Tullia wrapping her hair around some extremely hot metal device, and she gasped. “Are you singeing off my hair?!”

            The aquamarine-haired woman gasped and she shook her head, giggling. “Oh, no! I’m curling it! Your natural waves are nice and all, but we need extra oomph for the parade! Lots and lots of sponsors will be watching! And between you and me, the costumes may be the main draw, but people pay attention to hair too,” she raised a zigzag-shaped eyebrow, the hairs of which matched those on her head.

            Sparrow pursed her lips and she slowly relaxed, now that she knew her hair was not being set on fire. But she was still wary of all these supposed beauty treatments, the likes of which she had never known back home. Her own collection consisted of a hairbrush and lip balm from one of the market stands that she couldn’t survive without. Now there were things for her eyelashes, her eyebrows, her skin, her eyelids, her lips, her fingernails, her hair…basically the only region they hadn’t made up for tonight was her private one, but she was just waiting for the moment when they would go crazy down there as well.

            “We need to be on the chariot in fifteen minutes!” Oberon declared, and he was nervously tapping his fingers against the dressing room vanity. “And I do _not_ want our tributes to be tardy! We cannot afford to look lazy!”

            He was like that for the next ten minutes and finally the Jacturnas were ushered to their chariot. Sparrow looked around at the other tributes, getting her first good look at everyone. Her eyes first wandered to the smug-looking boy from District One and his fierce-looking partner. Typical Careers. The boy from Two seemed no different, but his female counterpart was considerably smaller and she reminded Sparrow of a slender black cat that liked to wander around the house back in Five. The little girl from Three, the nervous redheaded beauty from Six, the quietly intimidating boy from Seven, the tiny girl from Twelve who was clinging to her much-older partner…Sparrow could feel a twinge in her heart as she looked at her twenty-two new adversaries. Most of the costumes were ridiculous, as usual, but some actually weren’t so bad. The thing that she was paying attention to was their faces, and that wasn’t making things any easier.

            “Chins up! Look fierce, but admirable!” Oberon said in his very charismatic voice as he looked over Evander and Sparrow a few more times. He circled them like a vulture, tugging at Sparrow’s dress and fixing Evander’s tie until they were pristine enough for his liking. “Grace, and poise, and power…yes yes yes!”

            Conall sighed and chuckled in that deep voice of his, folding his arms over his chest. “You’ll be fine. Even if you do mess up, they’ve got twenty-two other kids to pay attention to. Just be the shining stars that you are,” he grinned and winked at Sparrow, which made her about fifty times more nervous than she already was.

            The horses’ hooves clopped against the concrete floor and the siblings jumped slightly as their chariot was pulled forward. Evander had on his typical nervous smile and Oberon sighed deeply.

            “Don’t look nervous! They can smell it!”

            “Oh, come on, I think you’re the one being nervous enough for all of us,” Conall nudged the escort with his elbow. “Go on. See you after,” he smiled at the pair, who looked at each other as their horses brought them into line with the other tributes.

            “Here,” Evander said softly as they rode towards the thousands of cheering people who awaited them. He put his arm around Sparrow’s lower back and pulled her closer, smiling at her. “So you don’t fall over.”

            She smiled back at him, her cheeks a fair shade of pink. “Are you sure it isn’t so you can keep steady? You look a little green,” she said with a grin, and they both gasped as they were pulled forward. The roar of the crowd was nearly deafening and the whole experience had goosebumps going down their backs.

            When Caesar and Claudius caught sight of the District Five chariot, they both smiled hugely. They were one of the night’s highlights for sure!

            “Now, there’s a pair of tributes you can count on! Just look at how they shine!” Caesar beamed, pointing at the two blondes as their horses drove by. Both of them looked stunning, indeed – Evander in that crisp gold suit, and Sparrow in a gorgeous, Grecian-style dress with silver sequins along the bodice. “Is that _powerful_ or what?” He laughed at his own joke, as he tended to do, and turned to Claudius. “I think we know who the shining stars of this year’s Games are, what do you think, Claudius?”

            The diminutive man nodded and sighed, watching the Jacturnas until they stopped in the circle, the other districts following them in order. “I must say, it’s refreshing to see camaraderie instead of the tension we’re so used to seeing between district partners. Just look at them both! We may be looking at a future winner here, ladies and gentlemen.”

            Sparrow and Evander looked at one another as their chariot stopped and they were facing the colossal stage on which President Snow would make his brief welcome speech to the tributes. It seemed like the crowd’s cheering would never end, and their ears would be ringing for hours afterward.

            “Didn’t wet your pants yet, did you?” Sparrow whispered in his ear, grinning when he blushed. “Gives a whole new meaning to ‘golden boy’, doesn’t it?” She giggled quietly, her freshly whitened teeth almost as blinding as the sparkles on her dress. She really did look like some sort of great light, especially with her image blown up on the screens all around.

            When the final chariot pulled into the circle, President Snow stood up and went to the podium. He raised his gloved hands and gave that small smile, motioning for the audience to quiet down. “Welcome, tributes of the Seventy-Second Hunger Games! Welcome, to all of you who have traveled so far…All twenty-four of you tributes, who will come to show us your formidable strength, your great courage, and your ultimate sacrifice…”

            Sparrow swallowed and she stared ahead at the podium, her full lips pursed. She began to zone out, standing there and absorbing his words, but not really paying attention. She was thinking of Flynn, of Arden, of Aurelia… She was thinking about how the final goodbyes hadn’t been enough. Three minutes to tell her family everything she could before she was sent to the slaughter? It was wrong. It was humiliating. But the moment they had pulled Aurelia’s name from the bowl, the second that Sparrow had blurted out a rash, instinctual decision to volunteer, she was no longer her own property. She was a commodity. A toy. A doll. To them she was soulless, heartless, unfeeling and uncaring. She was someone to stuff and dress up before being thrown into the most hellish nightmare imaginable.

            This was the true meaning of being a tribute. Not the rich food, not the glorious costumes and national attention. Not the vain, slim promise of riches and comfort for the rest of her life. But being a tribute meant the complete surrender of her life, however it may have panned out, for the sick entertainment of the Capitol, and the disturbing reminder to the nation that _it will never stop_.

            “So welcome to the Capitol!” the president’s voice boomed over the microphone, and Sparrow jumped slightly as she was startled out of her daze. “Enjoy your time here as you prepare to show us what you are made of, and make our nation proud. And as always, may the odds be ever in _your_ favor…”

            And so it had begun.


	9. Chapter 9

_Well the words aren’t coming, no the words aren’t coming_

_By day they are far too stark_

_Well the words mean nothing ‘til they turn to fire_

_By who we become after dark_

_(Blaqk Audio)_

* * *

            “Evander! Evander, wake up, lovey…”

            Evander furrowed his brow as he heard Aurelia’s voice and he sat up in bed, confused. It was his second night in the Capitol, and he had only gotten to sleep after the ruckus outside died down. The audience had loved the parade, and while that was all well and good, he was painfully aware that he needed to rest up as much as possible. That was hard to do with all the chanting and partying going on five floors below. But here he was, in the wee hours of the morning, in the most comfortable bed he could have ever imagined. Alone.

            So what was Aurelia doing here? He knew he had heard her.

            “Aura?” he mumbled sleepily, and he pulled the covers off of his body. He scratched his head and slowly got up, his plain white shirt wrinkled from all his tossing and turning throughout the night.

            “Get back in bed,” her voice came again, and he gasped as a hand pulled at his backside. He stumbled back onto the mattress and blinked as his new bride’s face appeared above him. “I just wanted to talk to you!”

            “Wh-what?…Why aren’t you home?” he frowned, so confused in his sleepy state.

            She giggled, her wide brown eyes as bright as ever. “I am home, silly! Home is wherever you are, isn’t that what we said? My goodness, you were so chatty during the wedding…I thought you were going to go on forever with your vows! I’ve never heard you talk so much in front of that many people! Though there were only, what, like ten of them? And you and me…and this little one,” she whispered and took his hand, gently placing it on her very swollen stomach.

            Evander sat up and scratched his head again, still struggling to get out of his drowsy stupor. “Yeah…I…” He trailed off as his eyes wandered to her belly. “Are you doing okay without me? I mean…getting enough food, feeling okay, resting up…Mom’s helping you, right?”

            Aurelia kept smiling as she cuddled up next to him, her arm draped over his torso. “Everything is just peachy keen, Evvie. I promise. You were always such a worrywart, you need to stop that! Can’t have a daddy who’s afraid of his own shadow! No no no!”

            He laughed quietly as she continued to babble in an infantile voice, speaking more to the baby inside of her than to him. But she was right, he had always been afraid of things. Afraid of doing something wrong, of losing things, of being hurt – but especially of hurting other people. So he tread carefully everywhere he went, always gentle and kind to the point of meekness, and he did his best to protect his family. That was kind of hard, though, when he was hundreds of miles away from them.

            “Hello? You got lost again!” Aurelia smiled and poked his chest with her index finger. “Something the matter, Evvie? You’re so quiet…and that’s saying something…”

            “Just worried,” he murmured as she pulled his arm around her shoulders and held his hand. “About everything, you know. The baby, you, the Games…” He groaned and leaned his head back as that awful thought crept back into his head. _The Games. Oh yes. Forgot about those for a minute_.

            “Hey,” she rubbed his chest affectionately, looking up at him with those warm eyes. “You know that I’m always here, Evander. Remember?” She took his ring finger in hers and kissed it, smiling. “Something this silly won’t tear us apart. You said that yourself, before we got married…You said that you were committed to me, and that there was nothing more important than what we have…Just remember that, okay?” she whispered and gave him a tender kiss on the lips.

            Evander’s heart froze for a moment and he closed his eyes as he felt Aurelia’s lips against his own. He had figured there was only a slim chance of ever feeling that sensation again – one in twenty-four, to be exact – and it put him at such ease to know that even if the odds weren’t in his favor, he would have at least one more kiss. He moaned softly into her mouth and set his hands on her waist, holding her close, her belly pressed against him. The kisses became deeper, and a few whimpers and moans were elicited from her lips. As his hands wandered to the straps of her dress, he bit his lip. “Aura—“

            They were interrupted by some murmuring voices and a thud from just outside his door, which startled Evander. His eyes shot open and just like that, the phantom Aurelia was gone. He swallowed, putting his fingers to his lips, and slowly sunk back into bed. So maybe it had been a dream, an illusion, but it was just what he needed to gain strength.

 

            “Looking good,” Conall grinned as he walked by the dining table in all his shirtless glory. “Black isn’t really your color, but I guess you make it work,” he teased, and when Sparrow looked up at him she spat out the piece of banana she had been chewing.

            Antonia raised her brows, looking from the young girl to her co-mentor, and back to Sparrow. She shook her head and continued to eat her breakfast as Conall pulled out a chair and sat next to her, the chair quietly groaning underneath his weight.

            Sparrow was dressed in her training outfit, a simple form-fitting black uniform with red and gray stripes down the sleeves, and her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail. She had insisted to Lennox that beautifying her this morning would be a total waste of his talents, because she fully intended to get down and dirty. Now that some attention would be on her after the previous night’s grand entrance, she had to make an image for herself. She didn’t want to go for being the pretty girl. Being pretty only got you so far, she had said, and while Lennox had been slightly offended he had given in and decided to work more on her interview dress.

            “So tell me again, which station are you gonna go for first?” Conall asked as he served approximately half of the biscuits to himself, slathering them with butter and jam and seemingly devouring each one in just one bite.

            “Survival,” Sparrow replied, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin in the hopes that he would forget how much of a fool she seemed to make herself in his presence. “Umm…Knots, fires, climbing, poisonous plants…one of those, and then a weapon, preferably a ranged one. Just keep switching back and forth!”

            “That’s my girl,” he beamed proudly and reached over to ruffle her hair. “Where’s that brother of yours? He’s not scared shi—“

            “Hi,” Evander said suddenly, and Sparrow jumped a little as she saw him standing next to her. “I just got up a few minutes ago, sorry.”

            Antonia raised her brow again at Sparrow. “Feeling a little jumpy today, love?”

            Sparrow laughed nervously and her cheeks turned pink. _Damnit. Blushing, giggling schoolgirl was no way to go._ “I, uh…I think it must be this drink! Making me all jittery…” She caught Conall’s eye and winced a little, proceeding to busy herself with eating again.

            “Well, hurry up and eat,” Antonia sighed as Evander took a seat across from her, next to his sister. “Don’t want you passing out in training, that’s basically a death sentence.”

            “Better make it fast, I think Oberon is going to have a heart attack,” Conall chuckled, smiling as he finished his plate and got up to put a shirt on. Sparrow stared at his back as he disappeared down the hall, and Evander nudged her with his knee.

            “What? You’re not much to look at,” she murmured, wrinkling her nose and excusing herself from the table. She wandered over to Oberon, who was tapping his foot anxiously.

            “They’re still got ten minutes until it’s time,” Antonia offered as she waited for an Avox to pour her another glass of water. “Everyone’s so nervous today…”

            It was five minutes later that Evander set down his fork, and Oberon took that as a cue. “Alright, alright, time to go! We’ll see you later! Ta ta, you two!” he said quickly, taking each Jacturna by the arms and escorting them to the elevator. He opened it and sighed, putting his hands to his face, his fingernails painted a luxurious red color today. “Make us proud, will you? Don’t be foolish.”

            “We’ll try,” Sparrow smiled as she waited with her brother in the elevator. The doors closed soundlessly and they were dropped off in the training complex, where a good number of kids were already waiting. She recognized little Stella from Three, the unnervingly silent boy from Seven, and of course, the intimidating and cocksure Career from One. “I shouldn’t be one to make snap judgments, but…I think we ought to steer clear of that one,” she whispered to Evander, nodding in the direction of the boy from One.

            “Agreed,” Evander murmured, and he shuffled closer to the group of tributes along with his sister.

            “We’re just waiting on two more,” the director announced, tapping her fingers together as she watched the elevator. At last, it opened and a small olive-skinned boy slipped out, followed by a pale redheaded girl a few years older. Sparrow recalled seeing them dressed like ships’ wheels the previous night, and she winced, feeling embarrassed for them. Ships. Transportation. So they were District Six. Oh, right, they had been right behind her…

            “Sorry! Sorry, I…I hit the wrong button,” the girl stammered, her cheeks just about as red as her hair. She gulped as she felt twenty-two other pairs of eyes on her, and she quietly made her way over to the rest of the tributes, embarrassed.

            Sparrow smiled at the girl and then she brought her attention back to Atala, whose large brown eyes were observing the twenty-four children in front of her.

            “So here you are, your first day of training. I hope your mentors have given you a good idea of what to expect. The rules are basic, and if you want to use your training to its full potential, I suggest you follow them. First off, there will be no fighting with other tributes. Save it for the arena. Secondly, I advise you not to keep to the weapons. I know that they’re appealing and that everyone wants to go for them first, but don’t underestimate the importance of the survival stations. Dehydration, starvation, hypothermia, and infection are your worst enemies – not each other.” She looked from one end of the group to the other, already able to spot which tributes would be more competitive and which would tend to shy away from the others. “Play nice,” she finished, raising an eyebrow as she turned to let them get to work.

            Sparrow shared a look with her brother and she grabbed his hand before he could suggest something. “You want to do this thing? It looks fun,” she grinned as she led him to a large panel full of buttons, which was connected to a great white screen. She examined the board and saw that each button had the outline of some leaf or plant on it. “I guess you pick the ones that are safe?”

            Evander looked intimidated by the vast array of plant pictures; he couldn’t begin to identify even one. “I, uh…Ladies first,” he stepped aside, letting her in. He watched as she cracked her knuckles and started to slowly press a few buttons.

            “Okay, that’s a tulip…that’s a maple leaf…that’s a, uh…” She sighed and began to feel slightly discouraged. Here she had actually been thinking that she had a chance, and now that she was confronted with the simplest of tasks, she felt herself getting smaller, weaker.

            “That’s a bellflower,” a boy’s voice suddenly said. Sparrow looked up and smiled as she saw a boy of about seventeen standing there, with wavy, warm brown hair and gray-blue eyes. He spoke with a bit of a soft country accent. “We get them all over the place back home. District Ten,” he explained, tapping the button for the bellflower for her. It disappeared from the screen above and he smiled.

            “Ten? So…you’re the ones who were dressed up as…”

            “Cows, yeah. It was unfortunate,” he sighed and folded his arms over his chest, looking over at Evander. “You guys are from Five, right? You had the best costumes, I think. My partner was a little jealous,” he laughed softly and glanced over at a young girl with dark reddish brown hair, who was effortlessly tying knots at another station. “On the ride over here she wouldn’t stop talking about getting all dressed up, and then we met our stylists, who are obsessed with making us be livestock. They’re not very creative.”

            Evander stepped closer to his sister and he examined the boy closely. He was nice, he didn’t seem to be a threat at all, but they had to be careful. “What’s your name?”

            “Milo Rattick,” the boy replied, and he shook Evander’s hand. “Ainsley, my partner, is a little miffed because our mentors told us to do survival stuff first, so…she needs some alone time,” he chuckled quietly.

            “You’d think with all the mentors telling us that, there wouldn’t be anyone at the weapon stations…and yet there they are,” Sparrow murmured as she looked over her shoulder. The dark-haired girl from One was viciously fighting a trainer with a sword, and she smirked with delight when she had him cornered. As was expected, the largest boys were busy drooling over the axes and swords and other lethal weapons, while a few girls were waiting in line to have a turn. The tiny girl from Twelve was being helped up into the rafters by her partner. Sparrow recognized the girl from Six, with that long red hair and snow-white skin, attempting to climb across the monkey bars. She grunted with effort as she swung to the last bar and sighed when she successfully landed on her feet, more or less.

            Sparrow looked back at Milo and saw that he had been watching the redheaded girl intently. “You want to help us with these plants? Since you’re so good,” she said with a smile.        

            The three of them went to work picking out the safe plants from the dangerous ones, with lots of input from Milo and careful studying from the Jacturnas. They had successfully completed the board when one of the trainers came up to them and patted Evander on the back.

            “You might want to try one of the weapons now. A couple of the boys are in trouble for goofing off,” he said as he motioned to the boy from One, who was sitting at the knot station with a surly look on his face. Not far away at the camouflage station was the unsettling boy from Seven, who was trying to paint his arm to look like the grass beneath his feet.

            “Go for it. I’m going to try my hand at something else,” Milo urged the siblings, and he went to find the red-haired girl.

            “How about…the bow and arrow?” Evander suggested after he scanned the room. “That looks easy enough…”

            Sparrow snorted quietly and shook her head. “I’m going for the big stuff,” she answered, and before her brother could reply she was heading for the axes. He sighed as he watched her step up next to the boy from Four, and she grabbed an axe, adjusting to the feel of it in her hand before she looked up at the dummy targets ahead of her. She sucked in a slow, quiet breath and blinked, her eyes refocusing on the bullseye.

            The bullseye, the lifeless dummy standing a few dozen yards before her, was what stood between her and getting home. She imagined it in her head; being one of the final two standing, seeing her enemy emerge from the bushes. She didn’t know who it was exactly. The face was interchangeable – the boy or girl from One, the boy from Seven, the boy from Four who was standing right next to her, little Stella, maybe even the endearingly awkward girl from Six. It was going to be one of the twenty-three other children in the room. Whoever it was, they were the one thing standing between her freedom, her survival, her peace, her victory. Most importantly, they were all that was keeping her from seeing her family again. Her parents, Aurelia, Arden, Flynn…Flynn…

            _“Mama? Mama…”_

_“Flynn, it’s--It’s Sparrow, baby, it isn’t Mom. It’s me, your sister. I got you some water. Drink this up, and I’ll sing you back to sleep, okay?”_

_“Okay…but you’re mama. You’re my mama. You always come in, you dwess me and sing to me and tuck me in, you make the food…You’re mama.”_

_“F-Flynn, I…I just…okay. Alright. Okay, I’m mama. Come on now, drink up and lie back down.”_

_“I love you, mama.”_

_Mama._

With the thought that ridding the world of this one person would bring her back home to her baby brother, Sparrow found a strength in her that she had never known before, the same strength that had been hinted at when she volunteered for Aurelia at the Reaping. It was courage. It was selflessness. It was love.

            She threw the axe with a quiet grunt, and after whizzing sharply through the air for a split second, the axe buried itself right into the heart of the practice dummy with a deep thud. The room fell quiet for a moment and she slowly turned to see nearly everyone staring at her. Her brother looked at her in shock, the boy from Four stepped back in nervousness, Stella was grinning, and the girl from Two gave her a snobbish, displeased glare.

            The boy from One, however, was looking at her like she was fresh meat. She had made herself a rival.


	10. Chapter 10

_We might kiss when we are alone_

_When nobody's watching_

_We might take it home_

_We might make out when nobody's there_

_It's not that we're scared_

_It's just that it's delicate_

_So why do you fill my sorrow_

_With the words you've borrowed_

_From the only place you've known_

_And why do you sing Hallelujah_

_If it means nothing to you_

_Why do you sing with me at all?_

_(Damien Rice)_

* * *

            Lunch felt like it dragged on for ages. Sparrow was slightly paranoid, sensing many pairs of eyes on her and hearing whispers that she was afraid were about her. She sat close to her brother as they ate, Milo and Ainsley sitting across from them. The Careers from One and Two had predictably gathered toward one end of the table, and they weren’t too keen on anyone else. The boy and girl from Four didn’t seem to want to be part of that group, which was somewhat relieving. The smaller the Career pack, the better.

            “Can you pass the…um…I’m sorry, I still don’t know what any of this stuff is,” the redheaded girl from Six laughed shyly as she pointed to a plate of food next to Evander’s arm.

            Evander handed her the plate and smiled, relieved to find someone else who was kind to him and his sister. If he didn’t know better, there seemed to be an alliance in the works – or at least an unspoken agreement not to kill each other unless it was necessary. “What’s your name, again?”

            “Moira,” the girl replied, and Sparrow made a mental note of it. She wanted to know the names of the friendly people, not the ones she would have few qualms about killing. “And you’re Sparrow and…Evan…”

            “Evander,” he finished for her and took a drink of punch.

            “Right! I’m sorry, I’m just so scatterbrained…I don’t think I’m going to last a minute in these Games, honestly,” Moira gave a nervous little laugh, and Sparrow felt bad for her. She reminded her of Aurelia – beautiful, sweet, endearing, innocent, and yet she doubted herself.

            “Hey, don’t think like that. We’ve got a couple more days of training and who knows what could happen by then? You might prove to be better with a sword than any of the guys here,” the blonde girl replied with a warm smile. “You think I’ve ever thrown an axe before in my life? That was luck, I’m telling you. Watch us go back tomorrow and I’ll throw one into the rafters. They’ll make sure I die first for that one.”

            “She did _what?_ ”

            Evander was sitting in the main room with Antonia later that evening, after everyone had eaten dinner and the Avoxes were cleaning up. He lounged back on the couch while Antonia scooted forward, sitting on the very edge of the seat, her wide eyes growing even larger with intrigue.

            “She just went up to the axes and threw one right into the target. She slaughtered it, and we were all staring at her with our mouths open,” he explained.

            “No one told her what to do? Nobody instructed her?” Antonia bit her lip and she rubbed her palms together to warm them up, which made the thin gold bracelets around her delicate wrists jingle quietly. “I just…I’m having a hard time believing that…”

            “Me too,” Evander swallowed. He looked down at the pale green button-up shirt he was wearing, replaying that moment over and over in his head. “I’ve never seen her look so intense, Antonia. She marched up there and I thought she was going to give it a couple tries and move on to something else, but something happened…something changed in her…”

            The small young woman moved closer to him and she put her hand on top of his. “She didn’t talk to you about it?”

            “We didn’t really have time to ourselves, between training and lunch and being lectured,” he looked over at her, raising his brows slightly.

            Antonia let out a quiet sigh and she leaned forward on her elbows. The muscles and very faint outline of her bones were apparent as her hair fell off her shoulders, exposing what part of her back wasn’t covered by her thin blue dress. After a quiet moment, she opened her mouth to speak. “I wouldn’t worry about her, Evander. If she’s as strong as you say she is, then you shouldn’t be afraid. She has a good head on her shoulders, and I think you’ll realize her priorities are in order, if you haven’t already. Tell me. When was a time you trusted your sister?” she asked, sitting against the back of the couch and waiting patiently for his reply.

             _“Sparrow?” Evander knocked at his sister’s bedroom door and pushed it open the rest of the way when she told him to come in. “Hey…”_

_“Hi,” she replied with a small smile. It was genuine, but much weaker than her old smile. The old smile was complete with white teeth and dimples and bright eyes. This new, halfhearted smile was given with a closed mouth and a simple upward twitch of her lips. She scooted back against the head of the bed so he could sit next to her, and she pulled her knees up to her chest. “Do you need something?”_

_His cheeks colored and he looked down at the faded old blanket that covered her bed. “I wanted—” His throat closed up and he cleared it, blushing deeper. “I wanted to come and tell you something…”_

_His sister furrowed her brow in curiosity and she leaned forward, her hair brushing the tops of her arms. She had cut a good fifteen inches off of it after Huxley died. “Alright, then, tell me,” she murmured and raised an eyebrow. Leave it to Evander to beat around the bush and take ten minutes to say what was on his mind. When he still didn’t give a coherent reply, she took his hand in hers and gently rubbed the back of it with her thumb. “You know that whatever it is…you can tell me,” she said in a softer voice, looking into his eyes with her loving green ones._

_He opened his mouth and a shaky breath escaped his lips. “I-I asked Aurelia to marry me,” he blurted out, and once Sparrow knew she had not hallucinated this, she stopped rubbing his hand. She seemed to freeze altogether; literally, a shiver went down her body._

_“Oh,” she said almost inaudibly. The inner war she had been fighting since Huxley’s death was now back in full swing, and the happy news of Evander’s sudden engagement felt like a swift stab to the gut. “Oh, Ev…Ev, that’s—that’s wonderful,” she whispered, but her eyes no longer met his. They were looking past him at the wall, at the floor, at anything but his face. “You’re getting married…”_

_Evander could sense the pain in her voice, which he had expected. It had been hard enough to decide to tell her his good news, because the wound Huxley had left was still open. Now he was afraid he had made things worse. “We’re still figuring out when it’ll be, but it should be soon.” He smiled faintly and squeezed her hand before standing up and heading for the door. She didn’t look like she wanted company now._

_“Ev,” Sparrow murmured just before he could leave. “I—I really am happy for you. You’ll make a great husband…start a family of your own,” she smiled weakly. “I’m happy for you,” she said again, and with that she laid back down in bed._

“I’ve always been able to trust her,” Evander said after a moment, the memory fresh in his mind. “She puts me before herself. She does that with everyone. Our brothers, our parents, Aura…She’s never let anyone down.”

            Antonia seemed pleased with this answer. “I don’t think you’ve got anything to be afraid of. She’s not going to turn into a bloodthirsty monster, Evander. I think she’s finding her strength and it’s going to be crucial in the arena. You didn’t want to be the one with the weapons, did you?”

            He shook his head vehemently. “No, I don’t think I could do that, even if it was my last option,” he swallowed. “Just the thought of it makes my hands all clammy.”

            She smiled and patted his shoulder reassuringly. “You two will do just fine. Trust me. Trust her. Trust yourself,” she said as she stood up and went into her bedroom for the night, her long blue gown trailing behind her.

            Evander sighed and he rubbed his eyes as he sat alone in the main room. He laid down on the couch and closed his eyes, hoping to escape the stress of the day with at least a small amount of sleep.

* * *

            “Why didn’t you tell me at dinner?” Conall frowned, folding his strong arms over his equally broad chest. “Sparrow, that’s great! You had every right to brag at the table and you didn’t!”

            Sparrow was sitting in Conall’s room with him like she had the previous night, and while she did feel rather gooey in his presence, talking with him was helping her tremendously. “I’m not the bragging type,” she shrugged. She was relieved to have changed into a comfy white sweater and black slacks; that training uniform was only so comfortable and so flattering. “But I guess you’ve had some kind of effect on me, since I’ve proven proficient in your weapon of choice,” she said with a smile and a flush of her cheeks.

            “As long as you don’t try to pull a Johanna Mason…that wasn’t too long ago. They’ll be expecting that,” Conall replied with a raise of his eyebrows. “I hope you’ve got some other strategy up your sleeve?”

            “Actually, that’s what I came here for,” Sparrow admitted, folding her hands in her lap. She started to tap her foot nervously, making a very soft, muffled sound against the plush carpet. “Can you help me? I don’t want to be in charge of this…I can’t risk making a stupid mistake, not with my brother…”

            Her mentor leaned back in his armchair and studied the young girl carefully. Something about her seemed so mysterious. She was for the most part calm and collected, unlike most of the tributes he had seen in his few years of mentoring. But now that they were alone, he was seeing her as more of a vulnerable young woman. A child. Seventeen, but still a child. Still eligible for the Games.

            “Please,” Sparrow continued in a soft voice. She chewed on her lower lip and felt relief wash over her when he leaned back in and rested his elbows on his knees.

            “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

            Good question. What exactly was she thinking of doing? Being the vicious and bloody slaughterer while her brother cowered in a hiding spot the whole time? Sparrow may have been strong, but by no means did she want to be Career-esque. “I…I want to ensure our survival, whatever it takes,” she began slowly. “I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt someone like Stella, that little girl…but I couldn’t go on if Evander got hurt, either. How did you do it?” she asked, her voice very quiet by that time.

            Conall sighed and he scratched his chin, which had begun to grow a little bit of stubble. “It’s not easy, Sparrow,” he said in that deep voice. “I realize that you aren’t a killing machine, but that’s what this whole thing is. It’s meant to test you, to make you do things you don’t want to do, because you’re weighing two things here – your life, and your values. I didn’t want to kill anyone, I didn’t enjoy it, but…and don’t think less of me for saying this…I knew it was going to happen eventually. Someone was going to kill that handful of people I killed, and I figured it might as well be me, because it would be swift and virtually painless, and without malice. The Careers that year, they had some vulgar bet going between them on how many kids each of them could kill. I figure that as long as it’s for your own survival, not for sport, then it’ll be forgiven in the end, yeah?” He smiled and Sparrow felt her defenses melt away. Why did he have to be so handsome?

            “I…yeah, I think that’s right,” she stammered quietly, feeling like her tongue had turned to jelly. “I just have to be quicker and smarter than whoever’s coming for me.”

            Conall nodded and scooted his chair closer to her, the heavy armchair as light as a cardboard box to him. “How about tomorrow you work on honing your skills with the axes, and let your brother find a weapon, too? He can’t rely on you to defend both of you all the time. I know he’s liable to faint at the sight of blood, but if he can’t handle that, then I don’t know how all the visceral stuff is going to get to him. He might die of fright,” he chuckled quietly.

            Sparrow’s lips trembled as they tried to pull up in a weak smile, but it was too much for her to handle and a tear rolled down her left cheek. This was not a pretty situation, no matter how she tried to cut it. Thinking of her brother dying was enough to crush the walls she had worked so hard to put up. “I…I c-can’t,” she whimpered, and she was too upset to be surprised when Conall scooped her up in his arms and set her down on the bed, lying next to her.

            “I didn’t mean it like that, Sparrow,” he murmured, looking apologetic. “You’ll take good care of him.”

            She looked into his eyes, her own eyes bloodshot and teary. A couple of hot tears rolled down her cheek onto the blanket beneath her and she pulled her legs up to her chest, feeling very small next to him. “H-how do you know that?”

            Conall smiled faintly and reached over to stroke her cheek. With a comforting touch of his hand her tears were wiped from her skin. “You will. You have to learn to trust yourself. Don’t blame yourself for things that are out of your control,” he said in a quiet voice that seemed to soothe her very heart. She sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand, her lower lip still quivering just a bit.

            “I t-trust you more than I trust me,” she confessed in a whisper. Her green eyes met his and she swallowed back the lump in her throat before she leaned up and gave him a soft, gentle kiss on the lips. It lasted no more than ten glorious seconds, but the feeling sent shivers through her chest and down her spine. Sparrow gradually opened her eyes and looked at him, surprised to see that his cheeks were almost as red as her own. She bit her lower lip and stared at him, silently questioning him.

            “Sparrow,” he finally murmured, and he cast his eyes downward, not looking directly at her. “I can’t…I can’t do that. I can’t have this with you.”

            Her complexion paled and she furrowed her brow. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach and her mouth suddenly dried up. “Because you’re my mentor?” she asked in a small voice. She still couldn’t get him to make eye contact with her, and with each second that dragged on she was getting more and more nervous. “After the Games, if…if I make it, w-we can…”

            They could _what?_ Stupid, stupid, stupid. She was a little girl compared to him. He probably thought she was just confused, overwhelmed, letting her emotions get the best of her, and even if they did carry this on – whatever “this” was – she would change her mind once the stress of the Games was over. Find some boy back home, someone who didn’t remind her so much of Huxley.

            “No, we can’t,” Conall whispered, finally looking back into her eyes. While those words felt like a knife to her gut, the fatal blow was yet to come. “I’m married, Sparrow. And we’re expecting our second baby in a couple of months. We can’t do this…I’m sorry,” he said quietly. The way he said it was obviously meant to be as gentle as possible, but it killed her inside all the same. It was then that she realized the small silver band on the fourth finger of his left hand wasn’t there for nothing.

            “Oh---oh,” she blurted, gave a weak nod and gritted her teeth together so that she wouldn’t let out a pathetic sob. She rolled over and got up with considerable difficulty, unable to bear the idea of looking back at him. She left his room and with as much strength as she could manage, she disappeared into her own room, the door shutting loudly behind her. The day had started with so much promise, and here she had gone and ruined it – maybe even ruined it all. She heard voices talking quietly outside her door and she knew it would be Oberon and maybe Antonia, curious as to why she had shut herself up. No one would suspect it was Conall, and no one could begin to understand where she was coming from, except possibly Evander. But how could he relate, when he had everything that she had lost?


	11. Chapter 11

_Black wall will lift away but some may say_

_You pushed away the distant light_

_It's growing dim, forget about him_

_Don't look back, you're all alone_

_Falling down will be the hardest part_

_Running far, it's always hard_

_Push the pressure and stop the bleed_

_On your knees, begging please_

_Body weakens and then the mind_

_But the heart will lead if you get some sleep_

_You're all alone_

_Don’t look back, you’re all alone_

_(Kissing Cousins)_

* * *

Bitter. Irritable, sullen, and bitter was how Sparrow woke up the next morning. She arose an hour too early and glared at the window the entire time, flipping through the different scenes at least a dozen times. City street, desert, forest, ocean, mountain, cornfield. City street, desert, forest, ocean, mountain, cornfield. City street, desert…forest…

              _“I’m home!” Evander called as he walked through the front door of the Jacturnas’ home. He slipped out of his boots and stepped aside to let a strange boy in. The new boy was Evander’s height, with dark blond hair and the absolute brightest blue eyes. Sparrow was watching from the kitchen, her green eyes wide as she saw the visitor. He was wearing the same uniform as Evander, so he must have come from the power plant too. She hid behind the doorway, her hands propped against the wall as she observed the new boy._

_“I brought someone home, if that’s okay,” Evander continued as he hung up his dusty jacket and offered to do the same with his friend’s. “His name’s Huxley, he works with me.” He smiled at the handsome boy and led him into the kitchen._

_“Hey, there, almost stepped on you!” Huxley grinned as he bumped into Sparrow. She was two weeks away from her fifteenth birthday, but already she was as beautiful as any other girl. Her cheeks flushed and she stood there looking quite embarrassed. “Is this your sister, Evander?”_

_Evander smiled but he looked a bit confused. Usually Sparrow would have no qualms about introducing herself; he had never seen her freeze up like this before. “Yeah, that’s Sparrow.” He ruffled his sister’s hair and went to help his mother serve dinner to the two little boys and their father._

_“Hi,” Sparrow finally whispered, feeling dwarfed by the tall young man. “I’m…I’m Sparrow…” She held out her hand and blinked when he shook it, his grip firm and warm._

_“Huxley Fisk, at your service,” he winked and didn’t let go of her hand for a few moments. “You’re eighteen, right? So it wouldn’t be weird if I asked you out?”_

_Sparrow could feel her legs turn to jelly but she somehow resisted the urge to faint. “I—I’m…fifteen,” she blurted._

_“Not yet!” Arden called from the table, grinning hugely. “Sparrow’s only fourteen, she’s not allowed to date!”_

_“Arden, sit down,” Mrs. Jacturna laughed and shook her head. “It’s bad manners to stand on your chair!”_

_The boy pouted and plopped back down onto his chair, but he was now making obnoxious kissing noises, much to his sister’s chagrin._

_“I…I mean I’ll be fifteen in a couple of weeks,” Sparrow tried again, and she felt like her whole body was blushing now._

_Huxley chuckled, his voice so deep and friendly. “We can make that work, can’t we? I’ll be here when your parents decide to set you free.” He winked again and pulled out a chair at the table for her._

* * *

“Sparrow! Sparrow, wake up! We’re going to be late!”

            Sparrow awoke for the second time that morning to the sight of Oberon about to swat her with a washcloth. She grumbled something and rolled out of bed onto the floor, crawling over to the closet and eventually dragging herself up. She threw off her nightgown and Oberon shrieked, shielding his eyes.

            “Miss Jacturna, please!” he cried, trying to escape the bedroom without seeing any more of the blonde girl’s naked form.

            Sparrow sighed once her escort left the room and she was free to dress in peace. She pulled on her bra and underwear, examining herself in the mirror. The extra food she had been eating since stepping onto the train was showing a little, but it wasn’t major. If anything, it gave her curves some more presence, not that they needed it. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the cool glass of the mirror, hugging her arms over her chest. Huxley’s hands had been so much warmer than her own, and she was aching to feel them just one more time. It was what she needed to get through this.           

* * *

             _Thunk._

Evander opened his mouth to say something to his sister, but every time he tried, he was interrupted by the whiz and thunk of an axe as it flew through the air and buried itself into some section of a dummy’s body.

            “Sparrow…”

            _Thunk._

“Sparrow, I—“

            _Thunk._

            “I’m out,” Sparrow mumbled and brushed her bangs out of her eyes. She finally looked over at her brother, who looked slightly afraid of her. She bit her lip, feeling her stomach lurch. What was she doing? She was scaring poor Evander; she was being completely irrational, all because Conall had rejected her. But he had done so for a very legitimate reason. Sparrow didn’t want to make it through all this only to go back to Five a homewrecker. She knew exactly how invaluable family was to a person, and it would be the worst thing she could do to ruin someone else’s happiness. It wasn’t a warm and fuzzy feeling, watching everyone else around her fall in love and marry and have children, but she didn’t want to make everything into a pity party anymore. That was weak, and she had resolved to be strong.

            “Evvie,” she whispered and swallowed. She looked around the training center and then gave him a hug, quietly nuzzling against him. “I’m letting it get the best of me…make it stop,” she murmured, slowly looking up at him. She sighed and held him tighter, saying so much with just that simple embrace.

            “Cute,” the boy from One smirked as he walked by and yanked the throwing axes from the three dummies before them. The way he sneered and walked around with his head held high and his muscles flexing at every given opportunity just made Sparrow despise this all the more. If it weren’t for the Games, she would never have to deal with people like him, let alone fight them to the death. But here they were, twenty-four children pitted against one another with no concern for fairness. Careers would crush anyone not in their pack as easily as they would destroy small twelve-year-olds. Sparrow was determined not to let them win this one.

            “Sorry. Guess I’ll try to be a little less human next time,” she muttered back, not about to give the boy the satisfaction of knowing he had irritated her.

            “Rex,” the boy’s district partner murmured as she stepped up behind him and set a hand on his shoulder. Her dark hair was chopped off just above the shoulders and she looked like she could kill someone with those icy eyes. “Rex, let’s go do some climbing, hmm? I think we’ve perfected just about everything else.” She glared at the Jacturnas and led Rex to the climbing station.

            “Aren’t they just a cup of tea?” Moira laughed in her breathy, nervous way. She had appeared unnoticed at the axe station and was picking at her fingernails. “That girl shoved me out of line at the fire-building station. She’s so rude,” she whispered, shaking her head.

            Evander chewed on the inside of his cheek as he watched the boy and girl from One climb up the net like a couple of animals. “Maybe they’ll be killed by their own egos,” he suggested, which made the girls laugh. He looked over as he saw someone approaching them, and he smiled when he saw that it was Milo. “Hey there.”

            Moira’s cheeks colored and she gave Milo a sheepish smile. “Oh, hi, Milo. I didn’t see you there,” she giggled quietly, trying to make it seem as if she hadn’t been watching him the entire time they had been training today.

            Milo smiled back at the red-haired girl and stood next to her, a sight that made Sparrow smile, but of course there was always that twinge in her heart. Two people who were undeniably attracted to one another, who had developed feelings that would grow into something so lovely that nothing could ever replace it – she missed that terribly.

            “I wanted to ask you guys something,” Milo said quietly, which snapped Sparrow out of her daze. The three of them turned their attention to him and waited for him to go on. “I don’t know if this is…if this is how this works, but…I want to make an alliance,” he continued, his eyes scanning each of their faces. “To be frank, I really don’t want to fight against any of you, because I trust you. Maybe that’s a bad call on my part, but…if I’m gonna die, I’d rather not be alone when it happens,” he added with a halfhearted laugh.

            Evander nodded and he held out his hand to shake Milo’s. “We won’t let that happen, right, Sparrow?”

            His sister nodded and smiled. “Maybe if we make a big enough team, we can just refuse to kill eachother and make it out, huh?”

            Moira looked at Milo with such adoration, it was impossible not to see what she felt for him. “I won’t leave your side,” she whispered, and Sparrow could feel her blood chill. She had said those exact words to Huxley not long ago, she had looked at him like that, she had fallen head over heels for him and never recovered. Now she just hoped things wouldn’t turn out as badly for these two.

* * *

             “Antonia?” Conall knocked quietly at his fellow mentor’s door. He opened up when she replied and he closed the door behind him, greeting her with a deep sigh.

            “Something happened,” she murmured, able to sense it without even looking at him. She closed her book and set it aside, her feet propped up on the ottoman in front of her armchair. “Sit down and tell me, Conall.”

            The large young man sat down across from her and rested his elbows on his knees, his hands folded in front of him. “She—I had no idea it was going to happen, I just…It suddenly did, and I sat there like an idiot until I finally told her that I couldn’t do it,” he said quietly, only looking up at Antonia after a moment’s pause. “She kissed me, Antonia. And the worst part is that I upset her. I told her the truth, that I’ve got Nina at home and another baby coming, but maybe I shouldn’t have been so blunt.”

            “So that’s why our little bird was so on edge today,” the tawny-haired young woman replied. “She didn’t say that she was in love with you or anything?”

            “She didn’t have to,” he whispered. “There was something she felt, I don’t think it was love, but…whatever it was, it was enough to break her when I denied it. I could see right through her, Antonia. Usually I’m not good at that by any means, but it’s like I could see her heart break. And that makes me feel terrible.”

            Antonia bit her lip and sat there quietly for a minute. “There’s a lot in you that she admires, Conall. Your humor, your warmth, your openness. Let’s just say that we girls had some bonding time, and I understand where she’s coming from. It isn’t just some little schoolgirl crush; it means a lot more to her. It isn’t necessarily you that she’s hung up about, it’s…someone eerily like you,” she murmured. She stood up and sat down on the couch next to him, the silk white robe around her small frame giving her a ghostlike quality. She took his hand in hers and sighed deeply. “It’s not my place to tell you what happened to her, but just know that she hasn’t had it so easy. Be careful with her,” Antonia said in her soft voice. She squeezed his hand and smiled faintly. “I’m going to bed. We’ve got a long day tomorrow, remember?”

            And so they did. Tomorrow was the day of the interviews, the last chance Sparrow and Evander would have of making a good impression before they were thrown into the arena.


	12. Chapter 12

_We all do what we can_

_So we can do just one more thing_

_We won't have a thing_

_So we've got nothing to lose_

_We can all be free_

_Maybe not with words_

_Maybe not with a look_

_But with your mind_

_(Cat Power)_

* * *

 

            With each person that walked out of the training center, the Jacturnas were getting more nervous. It was an eternity of waiting until the girl from District Four, Mira, was called in. She pursed her lips and quietly made her way into the room, and suddenly Evander found himself at the front of the line.

            “Evander,” Sparrow said in a quiet, wary voice. Her eyes went to his rapidly tapping foot and she leaned back against the wall. “Come on, it’ll be over before you know it. Now is definitely not the time to be nervous. Did you remember to go to the bathroom before we came down?” She cocked an eyebrow at him.

            Her brother gave her a look and sighed, but she could sense the anxiety in just that single breath. “I don’t even know what I’m going to do. I mean, I thought about it, but…but what am I supposed to do? The best thing I had going for me was the poisonous plant thing.”

            “Then do that, but with your eyes closed,” Sparrow suggested and gave a halfhearted laugh. She then turned serious and set a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. “If you could just sit there and talk to them for fifteen minutes, they’d give you a twelve. But I don’t know what goes on in there, no one does, so you’ll have to do it on your own.”

            He nodded and sighed yet again, his hands folded in his lap while he kept tapping his foot nervously.

            “Hang in there,” Moira smiled at the pair. She had pulled her strawberry-colored hair into a high ponytail that brought out the freckles on her face. “None of those nasty Careers can watch you in there. That’s what I’m telling myself, that it’s all me, and as long as I’m confident I stand a chance of not getting a one,” she laughed and then peeked down the line at Milo, who was rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb. He had injured it while practicing climbing, but he was determined not to make a big deal out of it as long as people were watching.

            “Evander Jacturna,” the computerized woman’s voice rang through the room. Evander turned pale and even a little green as he registered the sound of his own name. It took a little push from Sparrow, but he eventually stood up and slowly made his way to the door.

            “Kill them with kindness, Ev,” she smiled and gave him a little wave. “You’ve got this.”

            But Evander did not feel like he had this, one way or another. He gulped audibly as he walked into the room and the doors sealed shut within nanoseconds of him stepping inside. What was he supposed to do? All the stations were there – arrows, axes, swords, knives, clubs, weights, ropes, climbing, the survival skills – but it was as if he could feel whatever skill he had drain out of his body. He felt very much like a marshmallow; that was the first image that came to mind. The Jacturnas had been introduced to marshmallows on the train and ever since Evander had eaten several handfuls of them, his sister had jokingly called him one. And now he realized she was very right, whether she meant to be or not.

            There was one man at the forefront of the group of Gamemakers who was considerably younger than his cohorts, in that his hair was not yet gray. Even from the floor below, Evander could see his chilling blue eyes and the look on his face that quite resembled a hawk about to dive in and eat some helpless rodent. The man stroked his chin and gave a slight nod as he looked over at his fellow men.

            “I’m…I’m Evander Jacturna, from District…” Where was he from? “District Five!” Evander blurted, and he knew that with that very clumsy introduction he had already blown it.

            “Alright,” the man murmured, still looking very predatory. He was probably thinking how best to ruin this boy, who looked perfectly capable of surviving but in reality was about as useful as a field mouse. “Go ahead.”

            “Don’t spend your fifteen minutes standing there and blabbering!” one of the older men laughed, his outlandishly curled hair bouncing as he did so. “Get on with it!”

            “Give him a chance, he looks like he’s about to soil himself,” another man chuckled and took a bite of some exotic-looking fruit. The sound of him chewing made Evander’s skin crawl and he then jumped into action, as if that had flipped a switch somewhere inside of him.

            “Okay,” he whispered to himself, and his azure eyes scanned the room for something to do. He settled on the climbing station so that he could at least do something while he thought of how best to show his strength. With a grunt he jumped onto the net and it turned with his weight, leaving him dangling above the floor. He swallowed and painstakingly pulled himself up inch by inch. His feet searched for a hole to step into and he cried out as a muscle cramp shot right up his left arm. He looked like a newborn kitten struggling to walk, but he wasn’t getting as much sympathy as a kitten would.

            The sound of the Gamemakers chuckling at him and cracking jokes while eating their meal made his face burn. Evander grunted again and thrust himself up to the top of the net at last, where he brushed his head against the ceiling. As soon as he looked down, he saw Aurelia’s face through the net.

            “Remember that time I ran to you after you got out of the factory, and you tried to catch me, but we both fell down in the dirt?” She giggled and her face lit up with that thousand-watt smile. “I was still in love with you, even if you didn’t prove to be a very coordinated prince charming!”

            Evander’s mouth dropped open and he was so shocked that he let go of the net. He plummeted to the floor below with a loud thump and he immediately felt the soreness in his backside. When he looked back at where Aurelia had been, she was gone without a trace. He couldn’t hear the Gamemakers uproarious laughter for all the ringing in his ears, but he knew that their reaction couldn’t be good. Without even turning to face them, he got up and swiftly walked out of the room through the pair of doors that wouldn’t take him back to the other tributes. He couldn’t face them now, after he had so awfully humiliated himself. There was no way he could face anyone.

            “Sparrow Jacturna.”

            Sparrow looked up as she heard her name in the same monotone voice that had called her brother and the eight tributes before him. She gave Milo and Moira a smile, seeming much more confident than her brother, but inside she felt butterflies. “See you later,” she waved to them and went inside the doors that had swallowed her brother. When she looked around, it seemed as though she was the first person to arrive. Everything looked untouched, and she found herself worrying about Evander. What had he done? Was he alright?

            “Sparrow Jacturna, from District Five,” she said to the men above her, giving them a friendly smile. She sensed the Head Gamemaker’s icy eyes on her and it gave her an uneasy feeling, but she walked over to the throwing axe station without a hitch.

            “Let’s see if she’s any better than her brother,” the man murmured and licked his lips. He watched as the golden-haired girl’s hand hovered over the axes and she finally decided on the first one she would throw. Her stance and grip were confident, and if it were up to him – which it was, in a way – he would have chosen her for a top contender. Little did he know what she was about to show him.

            Sparrow licked her lips and she tucked some of her hair behind her ear, feeling a heat rise in her body as she held the axe in her hand. Her knuckles whitened as she gripped the cool metal handle and the weapon absorbed her heat. A lineup of dummies sat before her, targets neatly painted on them. Without further hesitation, she readied herself and aimed for the one in the middle.

            _“Evander?” Sparrow whispered. Her voice was almost gone with fear and her eyes were wider than they had ever been. She could feel the blood freeze in her veins as her brother shook his head._

_“He stayed behind, he helped some of the other guys get out. I…I’m sorry, Sparrow…”_

_She gritted her teeth and looked around at the loud, smoky mess surrounding them. Other men dressed in the power plant uniforms were hugging their families or sitting on the ground with their heads in their hands, trying to grasp what had just happened. She spotted someone, though, who looked more guilty than relieved. Without even thinking about it she headed over to him and grabbed his wrist._

_“What happened? Tell me the truth,” she snapped, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Tell me what happened! I know it didn’t just blow up, something happened!”_

_The young man swallowed nervously and shook his head. “W-we were carrying deliveries up top, like usual, and…and I don’t know, it just…I guess something malfunctioned!”_

_He was lying. He had had a part in this, and she knew it. He didn’t look so suspicious for nothing._

_“You’re a liar! You did something, somebody screwed up, somebody killed him!” she yelled. “And it’s your mistake that did it, you…you murderer!”_

_She was making no sense to anyone who was listening, but in her mind it was right. Huxley would never die because of a simple accident. If her strong, brilliant Huxley were going to die, it would be as a hero, not as a victim._

_“You liar! He’s dead and you did it! You messed up and it killed him! You’re a damned liar, you son of a bitch!” She was screaming now, and her brother and best friend had come over to reign her in._

_“Sparrow, stop! It was an accident!” Evander insisted, taking her by one arm while Aurelia held the other. His sister was attempting to wriggle out of their grasp, kicking and screaming like she hadn’t done since she was two years old. She burst into tears and sobbed hysterically, screaming obscenities at the man between gasps for air._

_“Come on, let’s go home,” Aurelia whispered and she bit her lip as Sparrow struggled against them, but she eventually tired out and collapsed in a lump on the ground._

By the time Sparrow stopped daydreaming, she had thrown all seven small axes into the dummies. None had missed the bullseye by more than half an inch, and they were all buried deep within the targets as a testament to her strength. She stood there surprised for a moment, surveying her work, and then looked up at the Gamemakers. A couple of them gave low whistles of admiration, while some raised their eyebrows. Mostly they looked astonished. Not only was this girl beautiful, but she was deadly – sure to become a favorite not only of the districts, but of the Capitol as well. And President Snow would very much want to take advantage of that.

* * *

            “I don’t even want to know,” Evander groaned, but his sister coaxed him out to the sitting room anyway. He muttered some self-degrading remarks under his breath and shuffled over to a couch, sitting next to Antonia while Sparrow sat on his other side. Conall took up an entire couch by himself, and Lennox and Imogen, the siblings’ stylists, were anxiously watching the television from where they stood.

            “What even happened in there?” Conall laughed as he saw how morose Evander was. He briefly made eye contact with Sparrow, but she looked down at her lap and swallowed after a moment. “You didn’t wet yourself, did you?”

            “Why does everyone insist on making bathroom jokes at my expense?” Evander sighed and sank into the couch, wishing it would just swallow him up. His evaluation had been an embarrassment on a national level, and he was grateful that no one but the Gamemakers had seen it. If Aurelia had really witnessed that, not just an imagined Aurelia, he might have died of shame.

            “And here we are with the training scores, fresh from the evaluations earlier today!” Caesar announced from the screen, holding a piece of paper in front of him. “Rex Harding, from District One, with a score of ten,” he nodded as a fittingly arrogant portrait of Rex appeared onscreen. Sparrow grimaced, knowing just how much he would be gloating right now. “Carina Stavely from District One scored a ten as well!” The short-haired girl from One appeared next and while she did not look nearly as arrogant as her partner, there was an unsettling quality to her demeanor.

            “Off to a good start,” Conall murmured and quietly ate his pastry.

            The tributes from Two, Malin and Valeria, scored an eight and a seven, respectively. They were much less threatening than Rex and Carina, for sure, but it was never wise to underestimate anyone from a Career district.

            “Oh! There’s the little girl,” Sparrow whispered as the small blonde girl from Three appeared. Stella Drew had earned a respectable score of eight, and Sparrow couldn’t help feeling happy for her. “Good for her,” she smiled and then looked over at Evander while the District Four tributes were graded. “You alright? You know, it’s just a number. Fifteen minutes doesn’t mean much in the long run.”

            Her brother let out a long sigh and bit his lip as his own face showed up on the screen. “Oh, god,” he mumbled and covered his eyes, but peeked through his fingers out of curiosity.

            “Evander Jacturna, from District Five…with a score of three.”

            _Three?!_

            Conall burst out laughing but covered his mouth after no more than two seconds, his cheeks turning pink. “Oh, wow…Evander, you’re the underdog this year, I think,” he chuckled quietly and sat up straight, reaching over to pat his knee. “Hey. It’s okay. Sparrow’s right, it’s just a number,” he smiled reassuringly. He glanced over at the young girl and smiled at her as well, but they were all soon distracted by Sparrow’s photo on the television.

            “His sister Sparrow Jacturna, with a score of…ten,” Caesar grinned approvingly, his teeth a blinding shade of white. The photo of Sparrow with her wavy blonde hair down past her shoulders and a serious expression on her face made her look like some sort of warrior princess.

            “Oh, my,” Imogen let out a sigh of relief. “Well, that’s over! Now we just have to work extra hard on you, Evander, dear,” she looked over at the boy and gave him a sympathetic smile. “No worries!”

            “Yeah, no worries,” Evander muttered and he looked over at his sister. “You’ve got enough for the both of us, right?” He smiled weakly.

            Sparrow kissed his cheek and rested her head on his shoulder. “They didn’t get to see the best of you, that’s all, Ev. We’re gonna make it, you and me. We’ve got the best mentors, the smartest stylists, and some strong alliances already. Come on, we have to get home,” she whispered and smiled at him, her eyes bright and hopeful. Maybe the three Evander had earned wasn’t so bad, after all. Sure, it meant he was a sitting duck to anyone who could wield a weapon, but maybe they would leave him alone and figure that he’d die early on. Sparrow wasn’t going to let that happen, though. She was determined to be his protector, whatever the cost.

            “Well, tomorrow we have the interviews, and we have the loveliest outfits in store,” Imogen gushed and clapped her hands together. She went over to pinch Evander’s cheeks and then giggled, disappearing with Lennox to finalize the last outfits their tributes would wear in an attempt to show themselves off.

            “Ah, yes, interviews…Lovely,” Conall laughed and he scratched his stubbly chin. “You still up for training, birdie?”

            Sparrow looked over at him and maintained eye contact for the first time since their little incident. The sight of him still made her palms clammy and her throat close up. “I’m up for anything,” she murmured. “Whatever it takes.”


	13. Chapter 13

_You come around and the armor falls_

_Pierce the room like a cannon ball_

_Now all we know is don't let go_

_We are alone, just you and me_

_Up in your room and our slates are clean_

_Just twin fire signs, four blue eyes_

_So you were never a saint_

_And I’ve loved in shades of wrong_

_We learn to live with the pain_

_Mosaic broken hearts_

_But this love is brave and wild_

_(Taylor Swift)_

* * *

            “I think I’m going to throw up.”

            Antonia sighed and she folded her arms across her chest, the silky fabric of her cerulean dress hanging off of her small frame. “Please don’t do that. I can’t think of anyone who would sponsor someone with serious gastrointestinal issues. Now, close your eyes, take a couple of deep breaths. You have to at least be comfortable around me. I know you are, because I’ve gotten to know you so well. I’m a lot like you, Evander, you know that…” She walked over to the tall boy and set her hands on his shoulders, looking up at him. “If I did it, you can, too.”

            He swallowed and shook his head, making a gulping sound that indeed resembled that of a person about to vomit. His face was pale and his forehead was slightly shiny with sweat. “I c-can’t…I can’t breathe just thinking about it! There’s how many people out there watching me? Staring at me, whispering about me…and we’re going after all the Careers, so…so why bother?” he blurted and slumped down into an armchair.

            The doe-eyed woman set her hands on her hips and bit her lower lip. “Why bother? _Why bother?_ Evander, you aren’t giving up now. This is only day three, and who knows how long you’ll be in the arena? All I know is that we’re getting you out of there, and your chances are hanging on tonight. You can be funny, charming, smart, whatever you want to come off as – but I don’t want you pretending to be anything. You’re you. Now tell me, what makes you what you are?”

            He opened his mouth and then closed it again, looking off to the side, genuinely stumped.

            “Love, you only have three minutes. I don’t want to watch you sit there with your mouth hanging open the whole time. Come on, now, tell me what makes Evander Jacturna who he is.” She sat down across from him, crossed her legs, and neatly folded her hands in her lap.

            The blond young man hesitated a moment longer, and then his brain seemed to activate. He was seeing his brothers, his sister, his parents, the humble house they all lived in…He was seeing his new bride and the belly she had been sporting for months now, and a small smile appeared on his lips as he thought of their baby. “I’m a father,” he whispered. “Well, technically…She hasn’t had the baby yet, but I’m still, you know,” he said as his smile grew a little wider.

            Antonia smiled in return and nodded. “Good, good…The audience isn’t used to a tribute in your position, that’s for sure, but I can’t imagine anyone _not_ being a sucker for babies,” she grinned, that rare twinkle in her wide eyes. “So you’re a new father with a very sweet wife at home, yes? I’m not going to try and put words in your mouth, Evander. Just tell me what exactly is on your mind. Don’t be scared.”

            He nodded and racked his brain for a few moments. “I want to go back home to her, to the baby, to my family. Our family. I want—I want to win not because of the money and all that, but because it means I have a chance at seeing them again. Taking care of them, that’s what makes me happy,” he said quietly.

            “Your child needs to have a father,” Antonia agreed. “Nobody can deny that. You’re young, but you know exactly what you need to do, Evvie.”

            Evander froze for a moment and he felt his heart skip a few beats. Evvie. No one called him that except Aurelia, and the sound of those two simple syllables hitting his ears made him tingle.

            “Isn’t that right? Evvie? Are you listening to me? Yoo-hoo!” A sweet giggle came from the seat across the room and Evander’s eyes boggled as he saw Aurelia sitting there. Her fingers were dancing across her belly and she was smiling from ear to ear. “My goodness, I don’t want you spacing out today! Remember that girl from Three who just sat there like a statue last year? She had drool on her lip! We felt so bad, but we were laughing at her! Oh, now I feel awful…I don’t want to be laughing at you,” she shook her head and sighed. “I guess now I sort of know how it feels to watch someone you love up there…” She bit her lip, those rich brown eyes watching him carefully. “Are you still in there, Evvie?”

            Evander couldn’t believe his eyes as he saw his wife sitting there, right in front of him, for the second time since arriving in the Capitol. She had been but a phantom last time, albeit a very convincing one. Now he was sure that he was either getting the surprise of his life, or hallucinating again. He didn’t want to ruin the moment by realizing it was the latter. Each time he thought of touching her soft hair, her smooth skin, and her warm lips, it made everything seem like it would be okay, even if it wouldn’t be.

            “I don’t want to do this,” he whispered. “Is it so bad that…that I wanted someone to volunteer for me? But no, nobody could be kind like Sparrow. Apparently every other guy in the crowd had something better to do with his life,” he mumbled, being unusually sour. Evander was typically mild, without a word of criticism for anyone but himself. His sister had been right, though – the Games were bringing out the worst in them. Her jealousy and his fear were threatening their chances of making it out alive, or at least of having a fighting chance.

            “Evvie,” Aurelia frowned, something she rarely did. “You know that it was beyond our control. It was something none of us could have prevented, and it isn’t your fault that you’re here. You’re going to make me proud,” she said softly and reached over to hold his hands in hers. She was so warm, like always, and just the feeling of her skin against his made him close his eyes. He could practically smell home. “You’re going to make all of us proud, and we’re waiting for you,” she whispered in his ear. Her lips brushed against his cheek and he could feel her smile.

            “I don’t know if I can even make it a single day,” he furrowed his brow, and there was that sinking feeling in his gut. “Even all this training is making me feel so alone, so…like a fish out of water—“

            Aurelia put a finger to his lips and shook her head. “Don’t underestimate yourself. I never thought of you as anything less than perfect.” She smiled and gave him another gentle kiss, this time on his lips, and when Evander opened his eyes he was staring right into Antonia’s face.

            “Evander? Oh, thank God,” she sighed, sounding relieved. She stopped fanning him and set her hands on her hips. “You dozed off or something, I don’t know what, but one minute we were talking and the next…you had this glazed look in your eyes, and you were mumbling to yourself.” She raised her eyebrows at him curiously.

            Evander looked just as confused as she did. “I…I, um…” He couldn’t tell her that he had seen Aurelia no less than three times since arriving in the Capitol. She would think he was insane. “I’m just tired, I haven’t slept much lately.”

            Antonia paused a moment before slowly nodding her head, as if she were still suspicious of him. She was very keen when it came to detecting a lie. “Alright, well maybe you should rest up. The last thing I want you doing is falling asleep on the stage. Go on, go to bed,” she said quietly and watched him leave her room for his own.

* * *

            “I’m Sparrow Jacturna from District Five. I have three brothers, one of whom came here with me. I volunteered so that my best friend, Aurelia, who is expecting a baby very soon, wouldn’t have to come. My family means everything to me and I’m going to do all I can to ensure my brother’s and my survival, so that we can go home to our loved ones. I would consider myself smart and strong-willed, but not cocky. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I won’t hesitate if someone intended to hurt us. How does that sound?”

            Sparrow was sitting in the living room with Conall, wearing a long white dress and ridiculously high heels. She had been working with him on the interview process all afternoon and it had been awkward, to say the least.

            “I, um…Yeah, that’s good, but don’t spit it all out like a biography,” he chuckled nervously. She was giving him looks that were less than amused, looks that were the complete opposite of what she was like only a few days ago. He couldn’t help feeling guilty about what had happened between them; it was like his denial of her had taken the spark out of her. “He’s gonna ask you questions, remember? You’ll have a chance to say what you need to say…Come on, Sparrow…” He reached over to take her hand and was surprised that she let him do it.

            Her green eyes flashed over to his and she stared at him, unblinking.

            “I know it’s hard, but I want you to pull through. If not for me, then for your brother. Your other brothers, Aurelia, everyone at home who wants you to come back,” he said softly and squeezed her hand.

            “There’s nobody left at home who really cares about me,” she muttered. “It’s all about Evander…I…” She swallowed and buried her face in her hands, sighing deeply. “I promised I would stop pitying myself, and now look at me…It’s all I can do,” she mumbled and looked up at him, her cheeks red.

            Conall opened his mouth but he figured that whatever he said would hurt her in some way. “Do you want to take a break?” he asked quietly. “I’ll come back to check on you, okay?” He gave her a small smile as she got up and headed down the hall towards her bedroom. “Don’t give up just because of a stupid mistake.”

            Sparrow frowned as his words registered in her ears. A stupid mistake? Did he mean her mistake? Surely he wouldn’t call her stupid, but who knew? She swallowed and shook her head, holding her skirt up as she walked down the hall.

            Antonia’s eyes lingered on the doorway as Sparrow walked by in a pair of heels. “Sparrow?”

            The blonde girl, who was about four inches taller in her shoes, stopped and wobbled for a second. “Yes?” If she was uncomfortable in those high heels, she wasn’t showing it. Lennox must have been drilling her on how to walk like a model, or at least not like an epileptic dog.

            “Take off the shoes and come in here,” Antonia smiled and held the door open for her. She watched as Sparrow slipped out of the heels and sat down, immediately starting to rub her feet. “Has Lennox been teaching you how to walk? You know, for such a short distance he always seems to make such a big deal out of it…”

            “Conall, actually,” Sparrow replied with a small smile, her voice quiet. “I’ve been working with him all day.” She bit her lip and rubbed her foot harder, relieved to feel the pain fade away.

            “Oh,” Antonia blinked. After hearing what had happened and observing the strained, awkward behavior (or lack thereof) between Conall and Sparrow, she had figured they were still avoiding one another. “You mean…”

            Her tribute shrugged. “It was stupid of me to do that, but I couldn’t…I couldn’t help myself,” she said softly. She bit her lower lip and stared off into the distance at a random spot on the carpet. “It’s like I’m being taunted, teased…he’s so much like him.” Her voice was now simply a whisper, and her eyes began to well up a little. After a few moments she directed her attention back to Antonia and blinked, which left only a hint of tears in her eyes. “Am I crazy? You can be honest. Tell me if I’m nuts for wishing he was back, trying to make other people into him.”

            Antonia didn’t have to ask if she was talking about Huxley. Ever since Sparrow had confessed the story of her and Huxley’s passionate but doomed time together on the train, it had stuck with her and haunted her in her dreams. Sleep almost always eluded her because it was better to stay awake than face her nightmares, but when she did dream now, it was of Sparrow and Evander. She imagined what they were like before they had been pulled into the Games, what it was like to see them happy and not contemplating what could very well be their last days on earth.

            “You aren’t crazy, Sparrow,” Antonia murmured. “I lost everyone, and now it’s just me and Conall, and whoever we mentor every year. I know what it is to lose a part of yourself. But don’t dwell on it, or it’s going to destroy you, okay? You’re going to be alright. Tomorrow’s the interview, and I know you’re doing to do an amazing job. You just have to forget all the doom and gloom, alright?” She gave her a comforting smile and squeezed her hand. “Sleep on it, love. Your brother’s trying to take a nap right now, I think, and it wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to join him. You’re going to need all the sleep you can get.” She stood up and kissed the top of the blonde girl’s head.

* * *

            _“Evander?”_

_Evander roused from his dreams at the feeling of two little hands on his backside. He rolled over and saw his baby sister, all of four years old, standing beside his bed. “What is it, Sparrow?” he asked sleepily and rubbed his eyes._

_“I had a bad dream,” she whispered in reply. Her green eyes were huge and framed by full blonde bangs. She looked like a porcelain doll. “I…I had a dream that the big snake monsters were comin’, an—an—and they were gonna get you, an we had to run but my feet got stuck in the trees, and they grew big hands and they grabbed me…I could feel their teeth,” she sniffled and wiped her nose with her faded old nightgown that she had outgrown a year before. “They hurt, Evander…they were big and sharp a-and they smelled bad…”_

_The older boy sighed and he sat up in bed, the sheet rumpled by his feet. He grunted as he picked Sparrow up and set her in his lap. She immediately curled into a tiny ball against him, still sniffling. “They aren’t gonna get us, Sparrow,” he murmured. He began to pet her curly hair with his hand, already quite bigger than her even though he was just over a year older than her. “They’re far away, and they can’t come here. We’re safe in our house, and we have mommy and daddy, and we won’t get reaped. I promise. We’re gonna be okay,” he reassured her as he kept playing with her hair._

_Sparrow looked up at him, her eyes ringed with red. “Y-you’re suppose ta say they’re not real, Evvie…You’re suppose ta say it was just a bad dream, and there’s no bad monsters that can get me and eat me and poop out my bones,” she whispered, two trails of tears running down her chubby cheeks._

_He bit his lip and looked down at her. He was only six years old, but he was a very smart boy, and he knew that his little sister could not afford to grow up so gullible and ignorant. “I can’t say that, because they are real. They make monsters like that to scare us, and to keep us scared forever. They’re as real as we are, but…but someday they’re gonna be stopped, if people fight them. They can hurt us, Sparrow, because they’re not just in bad dreams.”_

_“But you’re gonna beat them up, right, Evander?” she asked in her tiny voice, her eyes still wide. “Right? You’re gonna stop them?”_

_He nodded and kissed the top of her head. “That’s right. Now lie down, come on…that’s it. You can sleep with me, and I promise I’m gonna keep the monsters away from you, okay?”_

_“From mama and daddy too?” she asked, curling up with her back against his belly and feeling him wrap both arms around her little torso._

_“From our whole family,” Evander nodded. He kissed her head gently and closed his eyes, then jolted awake after having nodded off for a moment. No! He wanted to tell her something else, too! “Sparrow? Sparrow?” he whispered. But she was fast asleep, her tears gone and a small smile on her face._

Evander inhaled deeply and he slowly opened his eyes, but it still took a few seconds to orient himself. He was lying in his bed and there were the faint sounds of socializing coming from down the hall. His bedroom door had been left open, but he hadn’t moved since lying down after his session with Antonia. He started to roll over but stopped when he realized that there was something in his arms. It was then that he noticed the strands of long golden hair in his mouth, and he spat them out.

            “Sparrow?” he whispered, furrowing his brow in confusion. Sure enough, his sister had somehow nestled her way into his arms and was pressed up against him as tight as could be. There was a wet spot on her pillow, from drool or tears he might never know, but she looked so angelic that he couldn’t help but smile. He stroked her hair, being as careful as he could so that he wouldn’t wake her. With a very soft kiss on her temple, he wrapped his arms more snugly around her. “I’ll keep them away. I promise,” he said quietly.


	14. Chapter 14

_I wish that without me your heart would break_

_I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake_

_I wish that without me you couldn't eat_

_I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep_

_Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen_

_And I wish that we could see if we could be something_

_(Kate Nash)_

* * *

            “Sparrow, you look lovely!” Antonia gasped when the blonde girl emerged from her dressing room, where she had just spent the last couple of hours being made over by her styling team.

            Lennox followed Sparrow out with a huge grin on his face. “I take full credit for her! We practically had to sew the dress onto her body, it’s so…intricate,” he sighed and leaned back to examine his tribute for the umpteenth time. “She doesn’t look too much like a dancer?”

            The dress Lennox had designed for Sparrow was the most beautiful item of clothing she had ever seen, even more so than the goddess-like golden dress she had worn during the parade. It was covered in diamonds and silvery thread that made flower shapes, and every time the light hit her at a certain angle, she was bound to blind someone. The see-through skirt stopped at her hips and went off into feather-like strands, giving her the impression of some rare, exotic bird made of gems. She felt naked and was continually looking down at herself to make sure her underwear wasn’t showing, but Lennox had done a perfect job of arranging the gemstones in patterns that hid just enough skin between her ribs and her thighs.

            “I don’t even want to think about how many people slaved over that,” Antonia sighed and folded her arms, her large blue eyes stuck on the dress. It was one for the ages, that was for sure. “I’m sure you’ll be the favorite designer of the night, Lennox. Yet again.” She smiled and took Sparrow’s hand. “You look absolutely beautiful, love. Do you feel ready?”

            Sparrow made a face and shook her head. “I don’t feel like it at all. I’m going to… trip over my feathers, or say stupid things…”

            “Just don’t forget your name. That’s happened more times than you may think,” Antonia raised an eyebrow. “Where’s your brother? Don’t tell me they made him a suit to match you.”

            Lennox giggled and shook his head. “Evander called for something much more simple. He’s got much more appeal in other departments, we don’t need to focus on his looks so much,” he explained and went off to find Imogen, who was finishing up Evander’s look for the evening in another room.

            Sparrow’s mouth dropped open a little and she felt like she had just been slapped. “’More appeal in other departments?’ What am I, rotten meat?” She frowned and caught her reflection in a mirror. Her hair long and pin-straight, bangs hovering at her eyebrows, green eyes made even bigger with mascara and silvery white eyeshadow, plump lips a pastel pink…she looked totally different. A sense of déjà vu came over her, like when she had seen herself in the chariot outfit, and she felt like she was in someone else’s body again. “So all I have going for me is my looks?”

            Antonia pursed her lips and went over to the girl, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Lennox is a hundred times better with his hands than his mouth. He tries his hardest, but he just…He isn’t as sensitive as we are, because he’s from here. But you and I, and Evander and Conall, we’re all just from Five, what do we know?” She smiled faintly and kissed her cheek. “I was you not too long ago. The anticipation is far worse than the actual three minutes you spend up there. It feels like an eternity in purgatory, but once it’s over, you’ll feel the sweetest relief you ever will in your life. Well, besides when you win…Am I right, love?” She smiled warmly and patted Sparrow’s back.

            “Yeah, if good looks are what wins me sponsors…I might as well recite the alphabet when I’m up there,” she mumbled, but her mentor was right. Antonia had to be right – she was the one who had done this before, and Sparrow was supposed to trust her and follow her advice. Besides, she was the smartest person Sparrow had ever met.

            “Come on. Once your brother’s done, we’ll head down, okay? Just breathe deeply. You’re not going to throw up or faint or say every curse word in the book, are you? No, you’re just going to be you, and that’s all anyone is asking.”

* * *

            “From District One, the brave and beautiful miss Carina Stavely!”

            The first tribute had gone up to Caesar’s stage, and though there were seven more kids to go before Sparrow would have to climb those awful stairs, she was trembling. Directly in front of her was the boy from Four, with his floppy brown hair, wearing a beige suit. She couldn’t help thinking he looked like a bag of sand from the back. Her brain was going haywire and she couldn’t focus on one thing for the life of her.

            “Sparrow?”

            Evander was right behind her, though, and that was keeping her from going completely ballistic. He looked concerned as his sister turned to face him. He had been dressed in a flattering white dress shirt and black vest with matching pants. He looked so much more normal than she did, and while a couple of other girls had creampuff-like dresses or obnoxiously-styled hair, none of them were being stared at. Everyone was looking at her – or maybe that was just her being paranoid.

            “Sparrow, will you do my interview for me?” Evander whispered. They were ignoring Carina on the screen for the time being, while everyone else seemed to be watching the interview now, taking notes on how to go about their own. “I can’t do this. I need to lock myself in the bathroom.”

            She smiled faintly and leaned back against the wall. “You want to trade? I think I could do a better impression of you than you could do yourself,” she raised an eyebrow. Her heart rate began to slowly return to normal, and she was reminded that this was only an interview. The arena was tomorrow, and then she could allow herself to worry. Nothing here could hurt her, let alone kill her.

            Evander shrugged and smiled, looking so cute and humble, like his usual self. “Probably. At least you won’t be up there, wetting yourself, since that seems to be my thing.”

            A laugh came from Sparrow’s lips and she surprised herself. “That’s right! You’re the sibling born without bladder control!”

            “Shut _up!_ ”

            The two Jacturnas looked toward the front of the line, and they saw Rex glaring at them. He cracked his knuckles, looking threatening enough with a black suit and blood-red shirt, but the angry expression on his face was enough to make them gulp and sheepishly retreat into silence.

            Carina’s interview ended with a vigorous round of applause and she returned to the room, giving a coy smile to Rex before heading back to her suite. Then it was Rex’s turn, and the other tributes listened to the rest of the interviews in silence, with only an occasional whisper here and there. Even though he wasn’t there, everyone felt intimidated by his explosion. He was the livewire of the group and no one wanted to cross him before the Games, for fear of being slaughtered by him first.

            Rex was smug during his interview and had a smirk on his face the entire time, even when he came back to the waiting room. No one looked him in the eye as he returned to his suite and Valeria, the girl from Two, took the stage. She was relatively nice compared to her District One counterparts, and it was refreshing not to see a bloodthirsty Career for once. She made no secret of her ability to sneak up on someone.

            The boy, Malin, was Sparrow’s age. He was Valeria’s cousin, and the audience seemed to feel some sympathy for that.

            “Just imagine when they get to us,” Evander murmured in his sister’s ear. “Bet you there won’t be a dry eye in the house.”

            “Or dry pants,” she teased and gave a little smirk. “If you gotta go, I’d go now. Oberon would kill you himself if you were late for your own interview.”

            Aran, the boy from Three, was tall and limber and looked completely different from Reaping Day. Then, he had been wearing wire-framed glasses and looked like he hadn’t had a haircut in years. Now he was wearing contacts and his hair had been shaved off, and he didn’t look half-bad. He still spoke in a mumbled voice, and it was apparent that his new look had not changed his meek personality at all.

            “Stella,” Sparrow whispered once the small girl made it into the hot seat. She complimented Caesar on his pink outfit and hair, and then showed off her matching sparkly pink dress much to the audience’s delight. They adored her.

            “She reminds me of somebody,” Evander murmured and nudged Sparrow with his elbow. “You see her?”

            Sparrow watched the blonde young girl on the screen as she sat up straight, hands folded in her lap and her hair pulled into a neat bun. She looked like a princess, not like a little child who was being forced to fight for her life in a matter of hours. She bit her lip, knowing exactly who Evander meant. He was talking about her. Back when things were simple, and they were just a couple of kids. A few years had made a hell of a difference.

            She reached down and took his hand in hers, and the two of them exchanged a look that said it all. Despite all this, they were still brother and sister first, and no Games were going to tear them apart. She had promised to fight for him, and he had promised to watch out for her. For all they knew, the Games would be over in a few days and they would both be headed home, and they would think, _How silly were we? Not trusting ourselves? We made it. We made it home, both of us, because nothing can tear us apart._

            “Sparrow? It’s your turn,” Conall whispered in the blonde’s ear, and she jumped about two feet in the air. Her eyes were wide as she looked at him and they stared at one another for a few seconds. She was a deer in headlights and he was a gentle giant, and while she wanted to slap him for causing her so much agony, it wasn’t worth it. She needed him to guide her. “It’s okay. We’ll be here, all of us,” he smiled reassuringly and motioned to Antonia, who was right behind him, and Evander.

            Sparrow nodded, her eyes still the size of saucers, and with that she slowly made her way up to the stage.

            “Sparrow Jacturna, the noble little sister from District Five! And here she is…the golden girl herself!”

            Caesar’s voice seemed surreal as he introduced her. For seventeen years Sparrow had been listening to him welcome tributes, and while him saying her name had always been a possibility, she had never expected it to really happen.

            She was beautiful. Not to use a terrible cliché, but she was the star of the show so far, and would remain so. Tall and blonde and absolutely stunning; shining in the dress Lennox had created just for her.

            “Sparrow, darling, you look gorgeous! My compliments to your stylist!” Caesar gasped and then smiled his usual dazzling grin. “But I believe it’s you who makes the dress. Just as lovely as your parade dress, if not better.”

            “Thank you,” Sparrow said softly, and she blinked as she heard her voice resonate throughout the auditorium. There were thousands upon thousands of people in the audience, and if she had any hope of finding Lennox’s face in the crowd, it was gone now. Everyone was a weird, colorful blur. Some of these blurs could be her sponsors if she played this right.

            “So how have you and your brother, Evander, been getting along? Are you teaming up or are you fighting during training?”

            Sparrow crossed one leg over the other like her mother had always taught her. Sit like a lady. Back straight, shoulders back, hands in your lap, and always at least a hint of a smile on your face. Neutral faces were too easy to mistake for frowns, and Sparrow didn’t want to come out as the “grumpy” tribute. But these people, this audience, the nation did not know of her multiple emotional meltdowns over the last few days.

            They had no idea what it was like for her.

            “We’ve been playing together since we were babies, so of course we stuck together for this,” she replied, surprised at how calm and soft her voice was. Inside, she was trembling. “We’re going to be a team until the very end, and hopefully we’ll both come home intact.”

            The audience laughed, and it was all she could do to hold back a confused frown. Laughing? She hadn’t meant it as a joke. Arriving home in pieces was her worst nightmare right now, and these people thought it was _funny_? She wasn’t going to argue, not now, when the lives of her and her brother were at stake.

            “Well, I hope you come back in one piece too, sweetheart,” Caesar nodded and reached over to hold her hand. She was surprised to see such a kind gesture from someone whose job was to make kids likable before narrating their deaths. “It was so emotional when you volunteered for your friend back home. Your sister-in-law, correct?” He sighed as Sparrow nodded. “Thanks to you, she’s going to have the baby and live a happy life. Do you realize how special that is? We’ve had tributes volunteer from non-Career districts before, of course, for varying reasons, but yours touched the nation as a whole. Am I right?” He gestured to the audience, who murmured an affirmative reply.

            Sparrow could feel a lump growing in the back of her throat. Oh no, not again. Please not now. She only had three minutes to not cry and make a fool of herself, and here she was, getting worked up again. “It was the h-hardest, but...also the easiest decision of my life,” she said quietly. “Hard to leave my family behind, hard to give myself up, but it was natural. I didn’t even really think about it. I just knew that it was wrong for Aurelia to go, and I love her, and…I wanted her to be safe.” Her voice was faltering now, and while it was having a great effect on the audience’s emotions, she felt like an idiot. An idiot who couldn’t make up her mind or control her feelings for three minutes.

            “I’m sure that Aurelia and the rest of your family are so proud of you,” Caesar whispered. He squeezed Sparrow’s hand and smiled. “You’re going to return to them in a few weeks and have a new nephew to hold, isn’t that right?”

            He was ignoring the fact that she had said that she _and_ Evander were going to come home together. It was all or nothing. Her stomach began to hurt and she swallowed with difficulty. “Yes, I…I love them all so much,” she whispered, blinking back tears.

            “How have you been doing under your mentors? Conall Fletcher and Antonia Marsh were excellent tributes, I remember when they were sitting where you are now,” the pink-haired host remarked in a much lighter tone. “It’s a shame you can’t talk about what went on during scoring! I would have loved to see what they’ve taught you that earned a ten!”

            He was no longer Caesar. It was Conall sitting across from her, his handsome face even more so with that warm smile. He was chuckling, his voice deep, and his blue eyes were twinkling. He had a wedding ring on and Sparrow was unsure of whether he was laughing with her or at her.

            “You think you can make things right? Making me into your boyfriend, protecting Evander, being the golden girl?” He shook his head and leaned in closer to her, his elbows on his knees, his large body dominating his seat. “Let me tell you something most mentors don’t share with their tributes. Your life won’t be any better even if you do win. Blood on your hands, death in your eyes, and suddenly the past seems so much better in all its mediocrity. Don’t put too much hope in the future, Sparrow. It didn’t help you get a fiancé, did it?”

            His face kept flickering to Huxley’s, which was eerily similar. Huxley had no stubble, his hair was lighter, and he looked less hardened than Conall. But it was Conall, Huxley, Conall, Huxley, Conall…Conall.

            She was somehow walking from the stage to the waiting area. She didn’t remember replying to Caesar or leaving the stage or hearing applause, but it must have happened and she was just too upset to realize it. She had only been going through the motions.

            “Sparrow! Sparrow, that was great!” It was him. He was not the menacing figure who had warned her in her little hallucination; he was his happy, charming self. He furrowed his brow when Sparrow stormed past him, the bottom of her dress fluttering and flying out around her legs. She made it to the elevator before her ankle twisted in those cursed high heels, and she cried out as she grabbed onto a potted plant on her way down. Holding herself up with trembling arms, her ankle throbbing, she kicked her shoes off and started to cry. Not just little sniffles and the occasional tear, but she was wailing and whimpering, and the hours’ worth of makeup turned into some sort of botched painting. The show was going on without her, and just when it seemed like no one was going to come tend to her, she felt a large pair of hands at her waist.

            “Chin up, Sparrow,” he whispered in her ear. He steadied her and then wrapped his arms around her torso. He pressed against her back and kissed her temple, brushing her sleek blonde hair aside before pressing his lips to her cheek. Her sobs turned to tiny, soft whimpers, and the tears fell from her round cheeks to her chest.

            “I…I…I can’t do this, I can’t…breathe,” she sniffled, her lower lip quivering. “I can’t do this! I can’t go home! It’s me or him and I can’t leave him behind!” She gasped for air and her tearful eyes widened when he spun her around and grabbed her face with both hands. His lips met hers in a warm, tender kiss that lasted much longer than the first one. And this time, he was kissing her.

            “You can. You will. You’ll see, Sparrow,” he murmured and stroked her wet cheeks. “I trust you, and I know you’re going to do the right thing.” He kissed her lips again, and it was the best she had felt since Huxley had been alive. But this was Conall. They were different people, she realized that now.

            He was what she had needed, but in a different way than expected.

            “Give me one more,” he whispered. “I need it. We both do.”

            So she leaned up on her toes and kissed Conall again. After all, she trusted him, and he believed in her. The least she could do was show her affection.

            “Thank you,” Sparrow whispered. She rested her cheek against his chest and closed her eyes, feeling all the anxiety slowly leave her body. “Thank you…Conall…”


	15. Chapter 15

_He's waiting for you  to call,_

_He will catch you and lift your head and breathe_

_On solid ground, he's there and waiting_

_Keep your head above the water_

_These waves are getting taller_

_Pulling you down, down_

_He will never leave you_

_Don't let this world deceive you_

_And bring you down, down_

_(He is We)_

* * *

            “It’s a shame you can’t talk about what went on during scoring! I would have loved to see what they’ve taught you that earned a ten!”

            Evander watched his sister on the television in the waiting area with a smile on his face. What had she been afraid of? She was a natural at this. The audience was laughing and crying and cheering along with her, and Caesar was bringing out the best in her. Only when she got a somewhat glazed look in her eyes did he start to worry.

            “Well, I have two wonderful mentors for sure, and they’ve taught me a lot about the Games and how best to survive. I trust them with my life. I hope I make them proud, and everyone else back at home, too,” Sparrow replied with a polite smile, but she looked a little out of it. Only someone who knew her well would realize when she was lost in thought, because she was usually so good at hiding it.

            “We wish you and Evander the best of luck, miss Sparrow. I know that all of us will have an eye on you. I know you’ll do your best to keep yourself and your brother safe.” Caesar kissed the blonde girl’s hand and helped her stand up, both of them taking a bow. The audience burst into loud applause and cheers for the girl from District Five, who was then taken back into the waiting area.

            “Sparrow! Sparrow, that was great!” Huxley grinned, but he and Evander and Antonia all frowned when they saw how upset Sparrow was. She stomped past him, her heels loudly clacking against the floor. Evander reached out for her but he was being led onto the stage. It was impossible to help her, to comfort her like he had always done, because now it was his turn in the hot seat.

            The women in the audience were screaming and squealing with delight; Evander was a favorite for them. With his boyishly handsome looks, his long and lean build, and that sweet, self-effacing personality, he was a hit with just about everyone.

            “Evander Jacturna, from District Five! The other half of our super siblings,” Caesar grinned. He led the very tall boy to his seat and looked from his eyes to his shoes and back to his eyes again. The audience cracked up as they realized how short Caesar was in comparison to Evander.

            “I knew I shouldn’t have worn the heels,” Evander chuckled. His face was bright red – there was no hiding how embarrassed he was – but his humor came so naturally, one could ignore how nervous he looked.

            “That’s right! Well, we know we won’t lose sight of you in the Games, will we? I think you beat everyone by at least a couple of feet!”

            The crowd loved it. Evander was shuffling his foot anxiously, his hands folded in his lap as he tried not to fidget with any of his clothes. He could just imagine Aurelia at home, giggling at him as he turned into one of the hundreds of painfully shy tributes they had seen in the past years.

            “I have to be tall so that my sister can keep track of where I am. She’s the one that’s saving my hide, anyway,” Evander smiled. Dimples formed in his crimson cheeks and he leaned forward in his seat. “I don’t think I can one-up her interview, though. She’s a lot more…more sociable than I am…”

            “Nonsense! You’ve got a new wife, don’t you?” Caesar grinned. “Aurelia, who obviously loves you so much, as we saw at the Reaping. And you’re expecting a baby any day now, aren’t you?”

            Evander’s eyes brightened at the mention of his baby. In all the fuss that had surrounded training and parades and interviews over the last few days, he had hardly discussed his baby with anyone. But the little one was never far from his thoughts. “That’s right,” he said quietly, and it was impossible for him not to smile. Even if he didn’t make it, his baby would be alive and well, along with Aurelia. “She should be here soon, hopefully…before I have to leave…”

            Caesar leaned in closer to Evander, and this must have meant something big was coming, because the audience fell totally silent. “What if I told you she was here?” he whispered.

            Evander’s heart stopped beating for a few seconds and he felt his hands get clammy again. He wiped them on his pants and stared at the pink-haired man with huge blue eyes. “I-I…what?”

            Caesar grinned and he nodded. He pulled out an envelope from beside his chair and opened it. “Born at 7:03 this morning, miss Eiko Jacturna. Six pounds, eight ounces, and twenty-three inches long. Aurelia and the baby are doing great. I got this news from the mayor of District Five this afternoon.”

            Evander’s mouth was agape slightly, but he couldn’t care less. Was Caesar telling the truth? Or was this all part of the plan to build sympathy for them and get sponsors? The look in Caesar’s eyes told him it was true, every bit of it. He wouldn’t be so cruel as to give a boy such false hope before his inevitable death.

            “Eiko,” Evander finally whispered. He smiled and leaned back in his chair. He had a daughter. “I wish I could see her…hold her…”

            “I think you will, Evander,” Caesar murmured and looked out at the audience, most of whom were sniffling or full-on sobbing. “You’ve got one more little fan out there rooting for you, isn’t that right, everyone? We want to get Evander home to his family! I know that I won’t rest until I see you hold her on the Victory Tour.”

            Sooner than he had expected, Evander was heading back downstairs. It was over, Moira was flitting up the steps for her turn, and he could breathe again. He went into the elevator with Antonia, where Sparrow and Conall were waiting for them.

            “Sparrow?” he murmured and reached for his sister’s hand. “Are you okay? What happened?”

            Sparrow smiled and took his hand, squeezing it affectionately. “I got everything off my chest. I’m alright now, I promise,” she laughed quietly and looked up at Conall. They shared eye contact for a brief, sweet moment, and Evander shrugged it off. He was still confused, but as they headed up to their floor, he realized that the worst was over. Come tomorrow morning, they would anticipate no longer, and be thrust into whatever sadistic world the Gamemakers had constructed for them. He almost preferred that to all this craziness. At least in the arena, he wouldn’t have stylists and interviewers and sponsors and escorts hanging around him, all wanting a piece of him to make into whatever they wanted.

            “Let’s get into our jammies,” Sparrow whispered in his ear once the doors opened and they were dropped off at their suite. She held his hand and led him down the hall, where she slipped into her bedroom and got out of her elaborate dress. She threw it onto the bed and walked over to her wardrobe, as naked as one could get.

            Evander blushed and he closed the door before someone nosy like Lennox or Oberon could get an eyeful of his sister in her birthday suit. “Hey! Warn me before you do that!” he groaned and covered his eyes, humiliated.

            Sparrow frowned as she pulled some underwear out of a drawer and put them on. The hair on her body hadn’t even begun to grow back yet. “What? Suddenly you’re afraid of me just because I don’t have any clothes on? I remember taking baths with you until you were thirteen, and then you got weird,” she raised an eyebrow. Still, her brother didn’t look her way until she put on a loose-fitting black blouse. She sighed, put on some lounge pants, and sat down on the bed. “Come here. Please. I missed your interview, I’m sorry,” she mumbled and watched him sit down next to her.

            “Aurelia had the baby,” he whispered, his cheeks pink. “A girl. She named her Eiko…They got the news from the district today and waited to tell me till my interview. I didn’t think they would even bother with that…but I guess it would boost sponsors…”

            Sparrow’s mouth dropped open and she pulled him into a tight hug. “Evander! She had the baby!” She squealed and squeezed him with all her might, making him cough a little. “You’re a daddy! I’m an auntie!” She pulled away, still beaming at him.

            “You’re really happy?” he asked, that smile still on his face from the interview. “I thought that…after Huxley…”

            She bit her lip and slowly brought her hands down, placing them in his palms. “I am happy for you and for Aurelia. I want to see them so badly, the baby and Aura…I bet she looks like you. Those dimples,” she smiled softly and stroked his cheek. “Just because I don’t have what you have, doesn’t mean I’m unhappy.” She kissed his cheek and rested her head on his shoulder. “Now we _have_ to get ourselves home.”

* * *

            It was long past the interviews when Evander awoke with a start. He had fallen asleep in Sparrow’s bed, still in his dress shirt and pants, and she had curled up into a ball next to him. A small spot of drool lay underneath her cheek and he smiled, shaking his head. Maybe it was childish and weird, but he slept better with her by his side. They had always worked better as a twosome than they did apart. He carefully got out of bed, trying his best not to rouse her. He picked up his shoes and jacket as he went to his own room so that he would stop making everyone suspicious, but as he opened the door, he heard voices down the hall. Hushed and serious, angry even.

            It wasn’t his nature to eavesdrop, but he was frozen when he heard the next sentence come out of Antonia’s mouth.

            “If you think I’m going to let her suffer the same fate I did, you’re insane! And Snow sent you to talk to _me,_ of all people?”

            He had never heard her sound angry before. It was almost terrifying.

            “Miss Marsh, I’m here to discuss the deal with you. If you keep the girl alive and she comes out as the victor, President Snow has a plan for her. He did not specify what.” It was a strange voice, a man’s, sounding very official and blunt.

            “You can take your plan and shove it—“

            “Leave her alone!” Conall’s voice, deep and threatening in its hushed tone. “I think it’s best if you leave us all be. We’ve all suffered enough, the kids included. We aren’t going to let you hurt her anymore. For God’s sake, she’s a girl!”

            The strange man sighed and there was the sound of footsteps. He must have been on his way out. “One more thing,” he murmured. The footsteps stopped. “If you do not agree to the president’s plan, he will make sure that you never mentor again, and you will be of service to the citizens of the Capitol once more. You wouldn’t want to go back to being a slave, now, would you, Antonia?”

            Silence. The elevator doors closed, and then there was nothing. Antonia and Conall had not moved.

            “Antonia, you can’t do it again. They almost killed you. You risked your life to get out!”

            “Then I’m going to do it again, but this time for her. I can’t see another girl turn into me, Conall. Especially Sparrow.”

            _Sparrow_.

            Evander had no idea what was going on, but when he crawled into his bed a moment later and heard the mentors go to their respective bedrooms, he knew he would not sleep a wink. His sister was in deep trouble either way the Games went.


	16. Chapter 16

_They want to conquer you, abandon you._

_I want to burden you, belong to you._

_So loud, so loud,_

_Slow down, slow hound._

_They want to think for you, pour drinks into you._

_They want to look at you, while I look everywhere for you._

_So loud, so loud,_

_Slow down, slow hound._

_(The Antlers)_

* * *

            Today was the day.

            Sparrow was up and ready an hour ahead of time. Her long hair was pulled back into a low ponytail and she was dressed in a pale gray blouse, tough black boots, and black pants that were tight but still allowed her skin to breathe. She was trying not to analyze her uniform and deduce what kind of arena they were preparing her for, because even if she made a thousand guesses, it wouldn’t help much. No use worrying about something she would be facing in mere hours. Before the sun set, she could be dead, and she didn’t want to let that bother her any more than necessary.

            “Here he is,” Conall smiled when Evander walked into the main room. He stood up from the couch and patted his shoulder, whereas Antonia had been restless and refused to sit down. Evander sat next to his sister and the two shared a look as they saw one another in their identical outfits. Evander’s pants were not nearly as tight as Aurelia’s, but other than that they looked the same.

            “Hi,” Sparrow smiled at him. She put a hand on his knee, and he set one hand on top of hers. “Did you have a good night?”

            He swallowed and returned her smile, then shrugged. “As good as can be expected, I guess,” he managed a soft chuckle. So she had no idea about what he had overheard in the wee hours of the morning. He was unsure of whether that was supposed to make him feel better or worse.

            “Remember, don’t make a big deal out of getting weapons first. Don’t hesitate, though, no matter what you do. If you want to grab something, grab the first thing you can get to and then leave,” Conall advised them, looking from Sparrow to her brother. “Okay? Don’t stop moving until you find some form of water or shelter. Preferably shelter by water, but who knows how lucky you’re going to get? You could be thrown into a desert, or you could be underwater.”

            “That’s comforting,” Evander sighed. “Though I don’t think we’re going to get far underwater in what we’re wearing.”

            Conall pulled up a chair across from the siblings. “Listen to me, please. Just promise me a few things. One, do not get separated. Two, avoid confrontation unless necessary. Three…we want you to win, and we believe you will. All of us.” He looked back at Antonia, Lennox, Imogen, Oberon, and the styling teams.

            “I know you’ll do so well!” Imogen gushed and she went over to hug the two of them. “You shine like lights in the darkness!”

            Conall rolled his eyes and smiled, shaking his head as Imogen returned to her spot beside Lennox. She sniffed and wiped one jewel-encrusted eye.

            “Make us proud, please! And remember to stay the well-mannered boy and girl you both are,” Oberon raised his eyebrows. “Sponsors don’t like it when their tributes become all sloppy and uncivilized!”

            “Uncivilized? Wouldn’t want that in a fight to the death, would we?” Antonia murmured. She sighed and took Sparrow’s hand, kissing it softly. “Come on. Let’s go, before we’re late and Oberon throws a fit.”

            Oberon glanced at his watch. “A few minutes early! Excellent!” He led the way to the elevator, followed by Lennox and Imogen, while the Jacturnas and their mentors joined them slowly. The elevator ride was awkward with everyone stuffed in there, but Sparrow felt her heart flutter when Conall reached for her hand. He held it and squeezed it reassuringly, and he did not let go until they were let out by the hangar. The stylists disappeared, to be taken on another flight, and now it was just the mentors and their tributes.

            Antonia was much more reserved than she had been the last few days, and her goodbye to Sparrow and Evander was quiet. She hugged both of them and kissed their cheeks, having to get on her tiptoes to kiss Evander’s.

            “Come back to us, will you? I’m afraid I got attached,” she laughed quietly. She smiled weakly and her lip quivered as a single tear fell from her left eye. “Trust yourselves, that’s what’ll get you through.” She looked at Sparrow and sniffled before hugging her again. “I promise I’ll make it right,” she whispered in her ear. She patted her cheek and stepped back to let Conall say his goodbyes. Already, some of the other tributes were being loaded onto the jet.

            “Evander…Sparrow,” Conall smiled at the two of them. He put a hand on their shoulders and pulled them close. “Make us proud, okay? Remember what we’ve told you, but if something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. We’re going to make sure you win this thing.” He kissed Sparrow’s cheek and patted Evander on the back.

            Sparrow sniffed and she smiled, taking a deep breath so she wouldn’t start crying. “Thank you both,” she said in a soft voice. “I’ll be thinking of you.” She waved at them and walked with Evander towards the jet, leaving their mentors behind.

            Once they got onto the jet, they sat next to one another and were buckled in. Evander nudged his sister as he looked down the row and saw a head of bright red hair.

            “Moira!” Sparrow whispered, smiling at the girl from District Six. “How are you?”

            The redhead smiled back and shrugged. “All things considered, I think I’m okay,” she laughed quietly. She opened her mouth to say something else but stopped when a Peacekeeper came by with a rather large syringe. Moira winced and squeezed her eyes shut as her tracker was embedded into her skin, and Evander gulped when he realized he was next.

            “Is…is that going inside me?” he blurted when the Peacekeeper stepped up to him. She gave him a look and took his left arm, putting the tracker inside him. Sparrow frowned when she saw tears forming in his eyes.

            “Hey, it’s okay. Now we know you aren’t ever getting a tattoo,” she smiled warmly and held out her arm. She distracted herself from the pain by looking over at the other various tributes who had already sat down, while the rest were still pouring in.

            “I wonder where we’re going,” Moira whispered. She chewed on her lower lip and her pale blue eyes looked around the jet curiously. She met Milo’s eyes as he was buckled in and given his tracker, and they didn’t look away from one another the entire flight over.

* * *

             “Evander,” Sparrow murmured as they landed and were ushered into a single-file line. She stayed behind her brother and reached up to tap his shoulder. “Find water first. I’ll get whatever supplies I can, and then I’ll find you.” She rubbed his shoulder briefly and then swallowed when they were dropped off in an intimidating maze of chrome columns and bars, with no windows in sight. Peacekeepers were everywhere, and a different pair of them flanked each tribute. The siblings were escorted down separate hallways, and that was when their blood began to race.

            Evander was greeted by his stylist, a bench, and a clock. A clear glass tube was on the other side of the room and he swallowed as he realized just where that platform would lead.

            “Evander,” Imogen smiled. She seemed to be in a permanent state of smiling thanks to plenty of facelifts. She patted him on the back with her well-manicured hands. “Here you are! This is the big day, hmm?” She pulled away and gave a soft sigh, looking him over. “Your outfit should keep you comfortable, and it’s more durable than it looks. You can always make them into shorter pants, should you need to.” She glanced at his black pants and nodded. She watched him while he stared at various parts of the room in awkward anticipation, shifting his weight from one foot to the other repeatedly.

            _“Sixty seconds.”_ The voice over the intercom was male, distorted, and it jarred Evander back to reality. Sixty seconds of assured life, and then he was up for grabs. He swallowed and looked at the tube. “D-do I go in there?”

            Imogen nodded and looped her arm with his as they went to the tube. She sighed and looked him over once more. “Yes, yes. You’ll be alright. We’re all rooting for you,” she assured him, still smiling. “Remember to stay warm and dry, and…and you’ll be alright!” she repeated. Imogen was sweet but not very eloquent, much like Evander himself but with more facial injections.

            _“Forty-three. Forty-two.”_

            He gave her a very nervous smile in return and jumped back a little as the tube opened. It was eerily empty and opened so fast, as if it were eager to swallow him up and deliver him to his untimely death. He put one foot on the platform but stopped short when Imogen’s skinny hand grabbed his arm.

            “Wait! I almost forgot,” she whispered. She pulled something out of her breast pocket and slowly opened her hand to reveal a simple silver ring. “We got the tokens back after the Gamemakers reviewed them. Yours was safe, of course.” She watched as he examined it, then slid it onto his fourth finger. “That way you’ll have your wife in the arena, right?”

            _“Twenty-nine. Twenty- eight. Twenty-seven…”_

            He held up his hand and looked at the ring he had brought with him to the Capitol. It was his token and he would have been hopeless without it. “Yeah, something like that,” he replied in his quiet voice. He exhaled slowly and stepped into the glass coffin. Imogen disappeared within a second and Evander was suddenly greeted by a warm rush of air with a very humid quality to it. It was so wet he could taste it.

            _“Sixteen. Fifteen. Fourteen…”_

            Tributes began to appear one by one, some of them in the last few seconds. Evander looked around for a tall girl with her blonde hair in a ponytail and found her about six spots to his left. She nodded, acknowledging him, and was poised and ready to go. Everyone else’s toes were on the very edge of their platforms and their faces ranged from terrified to anxious to excited.

            _“Four. Three. Two. One.”_

The final syllable had just left the announcer’s lips when everyone bolted from their platform. As expected, the Careers like Rex and Carina ran straight for the mouth of the cornucopia. Those who were smart enough to do so ran in the opposite direction, seeking to eliminate themselves from the competition for resources. Evander was one of these children. Within seconds, his gangly legs had carried him far away from the Cornucopia, but no distance could wipe out the horrible screaming and cries from the center of action.

            Sparrow had spotted her axes since coming up for air. She put all of her strength into running for them, desperate to grab them before anyone else could. She narrowly dodged a spear thrown by Rex, who seemed to have it out for her. Her bangs fell in her eyes and she quickly blew them away, diving into the dewy grass and grabbing the pack of throwing axes. For a brief moment she congratulated herself on getting this far, and then it became too much. She had to get out of there. She hurried to stand up and her green eyes darted around the area quickly. Most of the weapons had been snatched up or were hopelessly out of reach, but there were still little backpacks with lifesaving items inside them. She ran and grabbed a large bag and two tiny ones, slinging them over her shoulders and then running for her life.

            She followed where Evander had run less than a minute before and was already panting by the time she reached her first tree. It was nothing like the trees at home – it was tall and the wood was smooth, and the leaves were humongous. They shaded the area like umbrellas and the sun was only just peeking through the cracks. Still, the air was stagnant and wet, and combined with the heat it made for a dreadful atmosphere. It was like trying to run through a cloud.

            “Evander!” she hissed when she came to a stop. She bent forward and put her hands on her knees, catching her breath while she waited for a reply. She heard some rustling in the brush nearby and her eyes grew wide when she saw it wasn’t her brother. Instinctively she ran forward, the various bags she had grabbed slapping against her back. _It was so hot!_ At least a desert would have been dry, but this was the worst of both worlds. An environment like this had to have water, though, so that was a plus. She wished she had nature skills so that she could sniff out water – was that even possible? – but this would have to do. Evander couldn’t have gone far, and he wouldn’t have done anything but go in a straight line.

            “Here,” a familiar voice whispered from under a huge fern. Sparrow skidded to a stop and bent down to see her brother lying under the plant and she breathed a great sigh of relief.

            “Oh, thank God,” she sighed and reached for his hands. She helped pull him up and handed him the larger bag and one of the smaller ones. “Water. Let’s go,” she murmured, a thin film of sweat already having formed on her chest and her face.

            “W-what about…Moira? And Milo?” Evander hissed back, as if whispering would help them stay hidden. Which it wouldn’t, really.

            “We have to go, Evander. They’ll catch up,” she replied. She could feel her heart thudding against her chest and her throat was drying up, despite how humid it was. “Let’s go!”

            They ran as fast as they could without losing one another; Evander was a far better runner but Sparrow had quicker reflexes. It felt like they had been going for hours when there was a boom. They both gasped and stopped in their tracks to listen. The first cannon had gone off, which meant the bloodbath was over.

            One. Two. Three. Four. Five. It kept going until the ninth cannon, and then there was an eerie silence. Birds called and grass rustled as they moved through it, but there were no human sounds. Now it was a very deadly game of hide and seek.

* * *

            “Nine tributes dead at the Cornucopia, and that rounds out the first hour of this year’s Hunger Games, ladies and gentlemen,” Caesar recounted. Behind him on the television screen were the images of tributes who had already perished. Their names were absent; they were only identified by their district and the amount of time they had lasted. However, recaps of their deaths were shown a handful of times. The boy from Eight had died within the first two minutes, having stupidly gone for a weapon and had his throat slit by Carina’s hand. The girl from Eleven, who had also been fourteen years old, had been the victim of a badly-timed fall and a sword to the back. Aran, the boy from Three, had been stabbed repeatedly while protecting Stella, who had managed to grab a bag half her size and escape the horrible scene. Moira’s partner, a small boy of twelve. The boy from Nine. Both tributes from Twelve. The girl from Two, Valeria, had lost a very intense fight over a mace. The last tribute to die in the opening minutes was Milo’s partner, whose stubborn nature had gotten her entangled with a certain relentless Career.

            “Christ,” Conall muttered. He stopped chewing on his thumbnail and looked over at Antonia, the two of them having been glued to the screen ever since they returned to their suite.

            “They’re okay, though,” she replied. She patted his hand and gave him a small, reassuring smile. “They listened to us, and they’re still alive. We got this far.”

            The television showed an aerial view of the arena. It was almost all green, every shade of it one could possibly imagine, except for a few steaks of blue that were connected to a thick line of gray. That, Claudius Templesmith said, was a particularly dangerous waterfall that had more to it than met the eye.

            “But of course, not everything is as it seems in the Games,” he said with his eyebrows raised. Caesar nodded in agreement. “As we’ve come to find out, Seneca Crane is a very capable Head Gamemaker. We shall see what sort of tricks he has up his sleeve for the Seventy-second Hunger Games!”

            “And see we shall,” Antonia mumbled.


	17. Chapter 17

_Shut the door to the moon_

_And let the birds gather_

_Play no more with the fool_

_And let the souls wander_

_And bleed from the soul_

_A slow hurt, and it breaks us_

_And so down, down, down_

_And so plain, so down_

_When you play some more it seems so_

_And my friends are past this game_

_Of breakdowns_

_(The Swell Season)_

* * *

             _“Sparrow,” Huxley whispered in the young girl’s ear, and he laughed as she rolled over and her arms flailed._

_“I’m awake! I’m awake!” she gasped and sat up in bed. She rubbed her eyes and frowned at how messy she looked. “Who let you in here?”_

_“Your mom and dad seem to approve of me.” He wiggled his eyebrows, chuckling again. He sat beside her and the mattress groaned under the weight of his six-foot-plus frame. “So much, in fact, that they are leaving us alone…and unsupervised…”_

_Her nose twitched and a delicate sneeze burst forth from it. He laughed and gently wiped her nose with his sleeve, watching her with the cutest smile on his face. She sighed, her cheeks red. “Hux, I’ve only known you for---“_

_“A month! Which means marriage is just around the corner, right?” he teased, that ever-present twinkle in his eyes. He smiled and pushed her hair back from her face so he could kiss her forehead. “Anyway, good morning, sunshine. Care for some breakfast?”_

* * *

“...a bottle, and a box of matches. That’s all that was in here. I guess it’s better than nothing, huh?”

            Moira’s voice. She must have found them after Sparrow had fallen asleep, because now it was early morning and Sparrow was reminded of just how hungry she was.

            “Morning,” Evander smiled at his sister as she rolled out of her sleeping bag. They had been lucky enough to get one of those from the large bag Sparrow nabbed, so the deal was that they would trade off every night. “Did you sleep well?”

            It had taken a long time for her to fall asleep, but the dreams of Huxley had been so welcome that she was still smiling a little. “Fantastic,” she said softly. She wandered over to where he and Moira were sitting, poking at a pile of sticks that were being used as impromptu firewood.

            “We wanted to wait until you woke up to make breakfast,” Moira explained. “Also, Evander is a little scared to kill something,” she said with a sweet laugh.

            Evander’s cheeks reddened and he twirled an unlit match between his fingers. “I don’t know what we should eat. There’s berries and figs, I guess, I don’t know much about plants…I saw something hop around in the trees this morning but I don’t know how dangerous it could be.”

            “Evander, it was a squirrel!” Moira was giggling, shielding her eyes from the bright sunlight that peeked through the palm trees. Even this early in the day, the sun that seeped through the leaves was sweltering. “Last I heard, squirrels weren’t threatening!”

            “I don’t know about that,” another voice that Sparrow recognized chimed in. She turned around to see Milo, who walked right up to Moira and sat next to her. The redhead blushed and smiled, subtly scooting closer to him. “You remember those crazy, um…what were they? Bats?”

            “Yeah! The bats from a few years ago, they would like…grow to ginormous sizes and bite off people’s heads?” Moira gasped. Her pale blue eyes widened and she seemed to melt as she listened to Milo talk about various mutts that had appeared in previous Games.

            Sparrow smiled as she watched their two friends get lost in conversation together, she and Evander remaining quiet. Seeing Milo and Moira get lost in one another reminded them both of how things had been back home. Sparrow would spend night upon night with Huxley, the two of them laughing and playing and kissing until the sun came up. Aurelia would raise her eyebrows at the two of them and prod her best friend for details, but it never went beyond kissing and touching. “Second base,” Aurelia would say with a wink. “So when are you gonna go all the way, huh?”

            Sparrow only learned what second base was after she asked Huxley, and the answer had made her cheeks flush. He only snickered and ruffled her hair with one big hand. The idea of third base intrigued her, and of course the final step, which she wanted badly but never reached. Everyone thought they were “that kind of couple”, as her mother would say, but it wasn’t true. Sparrow wanted to wait until they were married, and Huxley respected that very much. That was part of why she loved him so dearly – he would never argue with her, never put her down, never push her to do anything she didn’t want to do. She was his little birdie, as he called her. Birdie. The nickname would make her roll her eyes and smile, but she had to admit, it made her heart flutter in a way that nobody else could. And now he was gone. Gone before their third anniversary, gone before they ever reached third base. Well, there was that one time…

            Not long before he died, Huxley had spent the night at the Jacturnas’ house for the umpteen-hundredth time. Sparrow had gone upstairs to her own bed while he made himself comfortable on the couch downstairs. She lay in bed, totally restless and plagued with desires and thoughts she couldn’t shake off, and it must have been an hour after climbing into bed that she slipped out of it.

            _“Birdie?” Huxley frowned when he felt a hand on his cheek. He sat up on the couch and bit his lip; she was wearing a simple white nightgown, two sizes too small, and nothing else. He was taken aback as she crawled on top of him and her long hair rested in sunny pools on his chest._

_“I can’t sleep,” she whispered. She tucked some hair behind her ears and cupped his face in both hands. Her eyes fluttered closed and she kissed his lips, tenderly and gently as always, but this kiss seemed different. It was deeper, more urgent, and her body language was communicating something much more than simple affection. Her waist pressed down against his lower abdomen and she made a soft whimper. “I want to sleep down here, with you…” Her body was warm and Huxley was suddenly aware of her sweet scent._

_His quiet groan was muffled against her mouth and he broke the kiss, giving her a surprised look. “Sparrow, I—I don’t know if I could stop—“_

_“That’s okay.” Her voice was quiet and breathy; the rest of the house was asleep. Even Evander and Aurelia had gone to bed. “I don’t want you to stop. I want to…I want…” It was getting harder for her to find the right words as she unbuttoned her top. Her breasts were suddenly there, begging to be touched, only veiled by the thin and worn-out fabric of her nightgown. “Please…”_

_Huxley swallowed and it took every bit of resolve in his body not to give in. “You don’t have to, Sparrow. Not like this. I want it to be perfect, for you…for both of us.” He began to redo the buttons of her nightgown, missing one of them and having to start all over. “This isn’t perfect. It’s rushed, it’s sudden, it’s…it’s because of Ev and Aura, isn’t it?”_

_She held his hands to her chest and sniffed quietly. “I just want what they have, Huxley…I want that with you…”_

_“Come on, love,” he murmured. He put her nightgown back together and scooted over so she could curl up next to him on the couch. He wrapped a large arm around her waist and kissed the back of her neck. “You don’t have to prove anything to me. I know what we have together.” He kissed her neck again and gently shushed her, and eventually she did fall asleep._

            That night on the ratty old couch was on Sparrow’s mind for the rest of the day. Even as the small group went out to find food and firewood, surviving some false alarms, she was only half-there. The other part of her was aching for Huxley, and she felt like she would never receive closure. She wasn’t going to find any peace of mind out here in the jungle with only hours or days left to live.

            That night, only one face flashed in the sky. It was the fourteen-year-old girl from District Eleven. Somewhere in her district, the girl’s family would be crying and attempting to console one another. Their loss was inevitable; it had only been a question of when and how.

            In the middle of the night, while her brother slept peacefully in the sleeping bag, Sparrow kept a tight grip on one of her throwing axes. It was another one of those nights that promised anything but sleep, and this time she didn’t have anyone to comfort her. Evander had Aurelia in his dreams, the hope of returning home to her and their new baby, but Sparrow knew she would never find Huxley again. Even Conall, who had made things brighter for her, wasn’t an option. She was surrounded by people – friends, strangers, mentors, an audience – and yet she had never felt so alone.


	18. Chapter 18

_I saw a savior, a savior come my way_

_I thought I'd see it at the cold light of day_

_But now I realize that I'm only for me_

_If only I could see you turn myself to me_

_And recognize the poison in my heart_

_There is no other place, no one else I face_

_The remedy, it will agree, with how I feel_

  _(Portishead)_

* * *

            A low rumbling in the earth woke everyone early the next morning. The sun had just begun to rise and a pinkish-orange glow was cast over the arena. Birds chattered in the trees above, sounding upset, and Evander’s eyes widened as a large tiger-like creature ran by him. He expected to be eaten alive, but all the cat seemed interested in was running away.

            “What’s going on?” Moira asked in an alarmed voice. She clutched her tiny bag of supplies to her chest and looked at Milo, who had spent the night lying next to her, keeping watch. “What’s happening? Are we dying?”

            There was a series of screams that didn’t sound too far off. Everyone’s blood ran cold and they jumped to action not a second later. They grabbed their remaining supplies and ran in the opposite direction of the noise that grew more horrible with each step. It was a deep grinding, almost like a growl, and there were deafening snaps and crunches as trees split in half. The cries of animals and tributes alike echoed around them, like some sort of apocalypse was happening.

            “What’s going on?” Moira cried, sounding panicky. She held tightly to Milo’s hand as they ran, Evander taking up the rear of the group.

            Sparrow glanced over her shoulder and she turned pale. “Keep running! Just go!”

            “Sh-shouldn’t we…find high ground?” Evander asked, already breathless after they had been running for a couple of minutes. He looked up at the trees surrounding them and gasped as one snapped and nearly crushed them. “Oh!”

            “Not unless you want to be smashed!” Milo interjected. “Come on, it has to stop somewhere! They’re not going to let us all be buried at once!”

            Sparrow’s legs were burning as she forced herself to run. Her body was weak from only having one meal the day before and just when she felt she couldn’t go on any longer, she tripped over a large root and fell face-first into warm water. Her first instinct was to scream, but she stopped when she came up for air and saw that they had found a lake. It was no larger than the kitchen at home, but it was welcome.

            “It stopped,” Evander announced as the others skidded to a stop by the edge of the water. The four of them were quiet, their ears peeled for any sign of the continuing earthquake. He was right – it was gone. Everything had fallen eerily silent. Two cannons fired. They finally turned back to see the destruction behind them. Palm leaves, massive tree trunks, and shifted earth lay in gargantuan piles at least two miles back. The dust was settling and a few birds dared to perch on the debris, poking around for food.

            “That was close,” Milo murmured. The group let out a collective sigh and he slumped against a rock, closing his eyes. “I think that calls for a break.”

            Moira smiled and curled up next to him, linking her arm with his. “Since we’re here, I think we should clean up. Heaven knows the next time we’ll get a chance to bathe,” she wrinkled her nose and looked down at her clothes.

            Sparrow was all too eager to feel the water on her skin and purge it of a couple days’ worth of dirt and sweat. Maybe it was a bit shallow of her, but she couldn’t stand being filthy for long. She peeled off her shirt, the fabric sticking to her torso before she tossed it next to her brother. Her pants came off next and she laughed as they landed on Evander’s face. She was left only in her simple white underwear and bra, and her wet hair looked darker than its usual honey shade.

            Evander couldn’t help staring at his sister a little. She submerged herself in the water and he watched her distorted, half-naked frame until she came up and rubbed her eyes. The water stuck to her eyelashes and she blinked a few times.

            “It’s warm, but it’s cooler than the air, at least,” she said. She smiled at her older brother and waded around the small pool, the water having made her underwear translucent. Evander blushed furiously and forced himself to look away, embarrassed. He could feel Sparrow giggling at his prudishness. Maybe she was the more grown-up of the two; she certainly wasn’t a little girl anymore.

* * *

             Conall let out a deep sigh and he slumped over on the table, rubbing his eyes. As soon as he had seen the earth split open on the television screen, he had thought Sparrow and Evander were goners. He was confident of their ability to survive, but he still had some doubts. The only way anyone in District Five could know what they were was from the news – District Four had them more than anyone. But they had made it, and even with the boy from Ten and the girl from Six in tow.

            “Cheer up, love. They made it out in one piece.” Antonia rubbed his shoulders and smiled as he sat up. “That’s it. See? They’ve got instincts.”

            The girls from Eleven and Nine had both died. The one from Eleven was crushed by a falling tree that had nearly severed her body right in at her midsection. The girl from Nine had fallen into the giant crack in the earth, and the hovercraft was having a hard time plucking her out of the ground.

            Conall’s eyes went from screen to screen as the different remaining tributes were shown, but his eyes lingered on the television that showed Sparrow. Her wet hair clung to her cheeks and dripped down her body as she climbed out of the water, and he knew he was staring a little too intently when Antonia nudged him.

            “Quit your drooling, Fletcher, you’re not being very mentor-like right now.” She raised an eyebrow and took a drink of water, a little smirk on her lips. She sighed when someone tapped her on the shoulder, turning around on her bar stool to look at them. “Yes?”

            “The president has some conditions for you,” the Peacekeeper murmured, handing her a red envelope. He left just as quickly as he had appeared, and Antonia opened the envelope with a wary look in her eyes. Conall watched her, and they both pored over the letter’s contents.

            _Antonia Marsh –_

_Your gifts and talents have been much appreciated by the Capitol and those of its citizens who have been fortunate enough to have you. Though you may be one of the more headstrong victors under our jurisdiction, you are still among the best at what you do. I am fully aware of what extents you have gone to in order to avoid fulfilling your duties to us, but as we both know, you cannot avoid them for long. What I am requesting of you is to return to what I shall call “active duty” and please many customers who have been eager to see you back on the auction block. You are in high demand, Miss Marsh, and if you can make me happy, I will ensure that Seneca Crane does not destroy your tributes within the next twenty-four hours. They are apparent favorites of the Capitol, but you know as well as I that popularity does not ensure success. See me immediately so that I will know what to do with the siblings from Five. Your cooperation is much appreciated._

The letter was unsigned, but the strong scent of roses was as much of a signature as was needed. Antonia swallowed and she gripped the letter tightly in her hand, the fancy paper crumpling against her palm.

            “He can’t touch them,” Conall murmured. His blue eyes met Antonia’s and he could tell she was livid. Antonia would never let Snow have his way without a fight. “He can’t. They’re smarter than he thinks.”

            “He knows everything, Conall. You and I know that better than anyone.” She frowned and threw the letter into a nearby trash bin, slipping through the immense crowd of citizens and gamblers who had gathered to watch and bet on the Games. Her eyes went to the leaderboard, where each of the tributes’ faces were shown along with their name, district, training score, and predicted chance of winning. Sparrow was at 1-8, while Evander was at 1-17. Maybe not the best odds, but it was better than any of her previous trainees.

            Conall sighed and rested his elbows on the bar, his attention reverting to the television screens. He saw a flash of blonde hair and smiled to himself when he saw that it was Sparrow. She was standing by a pile of collapsed palm trees, her wet hair pulled into a messy bun, and pointing to something under the trunks. Her brother and the two friends they had made quickly went over to her, and it was then that he saw what everyone else was gasping and murmuring about. Pinned beneath a huge tree was the tiny girl from Three, her dirty blonde hair a matted mess, and there was no way she was getting out on her own.

* * *

            “Help me! Please!” the girl cried, reaching her arm out. She couldn’t move anything but her neck and her left arm; the rest was stuck under the tree. She had obviously been trying not to cry, but who knew how long she had been under there?

            “Oh, my god! Okay! We can do this, right?” Moira looked around with wide eyes. “Guys?”

            Milo gave her a wary look, his arms folded across his chest. “That tree has to weigh hundreds of pounds, Moira. Even with all four of us…it’s gonna be tough.”

            The red-haired girl swallowed and knelt on the ground by Stella. “It’s gonna be okay, I promise! We’ll help you!” She squeezed the younger girl’s hand and tried to reassure her with a smile.

            “Will your axes help?” Milo turned to Sparrow, who was already rummaging through their things for something to help with.

            “They’re throwing axes, I mean…they’re not really for chopping trees,” she replied with a frown. “I can try, I guess. I didn’t practice hacking away at anything, though.”

            “It’s better than nothing, right?” Evander asked. He was already looking pale from the stress of the situation. Real and imminent danger wasn’t his thing.

            She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, making her way over to the trunk. Moira scurried out of the way and hid behind Milo as Sparrow brought one of her axes down on the tree. It made a sharp _chink_ and there was a good cut in the wood when she pulled it back out, but it was going to take a while. “Stella? Can you hold on for a little while longer? We’re gonna get you out.”

            “I’m okay. I’m okay, yeah, I can wait,” Stella nodded, watching Sparrow as she took another whack at the tree. She flinched when the sharp steel blade came down, as if it would go right through her, but Sparrow had excellent aim. After ten minutes the trunk was almost severed in half, and they would be ready to move it off of the young girl.

            “Help me!” she called to the rest of the group, bending down to pick up one end of the trunk. The other three hurried to her side and all grabbed a section of the tree, and on her count they lifted. It was terribly heavy and everyone grunted and groaned with effort, but if they were to drop it Stella would be crushed. The little girl was remaining surprisingly calm as her life was literally in the hands of four strangers, and when they got it off of her it fell to the ground with a loud thump. A few of the nearby trees shook and some birds flew out of the leaves in terror.

            “You’re okay,” Evander smiled as he knelt by Stella, who rubbed her back with one hand and crawled toward him. “It’s okay now. Who were you with?”

            “No one…My partner’s gone, so I’ve been wandering by myself, and I got lost and I wasn’t fast enough to get out of the trees,” she answered, smiling as Sparrow began to gently pull leaves and dirt from her hair and clothes. “Thank you for getting me out. I would have been dead meat if you weren’t here.”

            “Hey, so would we if we hadn’t all found each other.” Sparrow sat back and smiled, getting up and dusting her knees off. “I’m going to find some food for us, okay? You guys stay put.”

            “Be careful.” Evander followed his sister with his eyes as she headed past the small lake, one of the axes still in her hand. The sun was high in the sky and it was as hot as it was going to get all day, and he didn’t like the idea of her going off on her own. But he had to trust her, after all the times she had shown how good she was, right?

            So why was he getting an uneasy feeling?


	19. Chapter 19

_Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand_

_All you have to do is close your eyes_

_And just reach out your hands and touch me_

_Hold me close don't ever let me go_

_More than words is all I ever needed you to show_

_Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me_

_‘Cause I'd already know_

  _(Extreme)_

* * *

            One time she ran all the way to the District wall.

            An electric fence was out of the question for the district in charge of power; it would have been all too easy for them to disable it and escape. So the Capitol had decided to build a solid stone wall too high and too smooth for anyone to climb over. Most of the people of District Five had never seen what was beyond the wall.

            The day that Aurelia and Evander announced their engagement, Sparrow ran for what seemed like an eternity. She was a sweating, panting mess by the time she reached the wall on the other side of town, and when her hands touched the rough surface she leaned against it to catch her breath. Her hair hung down in front of her face and she was alone. She slumped down onto her knees and scraped them on the gravel below. She was too exhausted to cry, so she just sat there in front of the wall with a dry throat and stinging eyes. Despite her best efforts, all she could imagine was the elated look on Aurelia’s face. Evander held her from behind, his arms around her small curve of a tummy. They both had red cheeks and bright eyes, and Sparrow felt her heart stop when she saw the family wedding ring on Aurelia’s finger.

            “Congratulations,” she had whispered. She gave them the most enthusiastic smile she could muster, hugged them both, and once the couple was distracted by their excited parents Sparrow bolted out of the back door. It was all she could do to prevent herself from exploding.

            _“How was that?” Huxley grinned when he pulled away, his hands leaving Sparrow’s flustered face. He chuckled when she blinked at him a few times, her eyes wide like she had just tasted some strange food for the first time and wasn’t exactly sure what to think of it. “Oh, no, it wasn’t that bad…was it?”_

_She licked her lips and looked down at her hands, which were shaking ever so slightly. Her whole body was jittery, in fact. Heart thumping, hands clammy, breaths shaky – but it felt so right. “N-no, not bad. Not bad!” She gasped quietly, realizing that her state of shock was probably offending him._

_The truth was she had nothing to compare it to. Lips meeting another pair of lips, so soft and gentle as they collided in what people years upon years ago had decided to call a kiss. Warm mouths slowly opening for one another and allowing the slightest bit of access to tongues. Electricity, warmth, passion, tenderness._

_“That was my first kiss,” she admitted meekly. Her shy green eyes met his and she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear._

_Huxley seemed relieved, but also like he had known all along that she would enjoy it. “Really? I find that hard to believe, miss Jacturna.” He winked and cupped her face in his hands again. “Well, congratulations. That sealed the deal. You’re mine now, little birdie.”_

Now she was running again. The hot air of the jungle should have been drying her off, but the water from her rinse-off was only being replaced by sweat. The humidity was making her somewhat woozy and there was a small, dull pain in the back of her head. Still she gripped one of her axes in her right hand and her eyes vigilantly searched for any source of food nearby. Preferably some sort of animal, but she could try her luck with plants. Milo could confirm whether they were safe or not before they ate them.

            Out of the corner of her eye she caught movement in a bush. She stopped immediately and had her axe at the ready, her senses heightened by the hunger pains in her stomach. Catching whatever animal was behind that bush could mean the difference between life and death for her and her allies, especially now that they had a fifth person. She took a deep breath and cautiously approached the bush, only to stumble backwards when a tall figure emerged. It was no animal. She recognized him as the quietly intimidating boy from Seven. Dark hair and eyes, with a face and shape that seemed more like that of a man than a teenager. He was larger and stronger and now the two of them had seen one another.

            She wanted to forget it and run away, but if she went back to their camp, this boy would know where they were. Then he could kill them all, if that was what he wanted. Now she was faced with what she had been resolved to do from the start: defend herself and her brother.

            He had a sword, a rather large one. He held it up and the two of them stood there frozen for a moment. He lurched forward and Sparrow gasped, her eyes widening in fear. She looked in a hundred different directions before deciding to go the opposite way of her group. The plants were harsh as they thwacked against her legs and she screamed in horror as she ran through a spiderweb. She flailed her arms in an attempt to get the terrible silk off of her body. Now he was gaining on her; she could hear him breathing as he ran and his boots hit the dirt below. His footsteps were faster than hers and she knew she was going to be caught eventually, unless some miracle happened. She was ready to duck behind a tree and bury her axes in his chest when there was the sound of falling.

            “Sparrow!” her brother’s voice called urgently. He had caught up to the boy from Seven and had him pinned to the ground for one lucky moment. “Go! Go, Sparrow!” He was panting from running so hard and all Sparrow could do was stare at him with her mouth agape. She finally regained her senses and ran back towards camp, leaving her brother and her pursuer behind. After a few moments she was spent and had to stop, leaning over and resting her hands on her knees. She turned around when she heard movement and almost tossed an axe, only to find it was her brother.

            “Oh, thank God,” she whispered. She went over to him and pulled him into a hug, kissing his cheek. “You saved me, Evvie! Look at you,” she said with a smile. She pulled away to look at him, and that was when she noticed the blood. Her face fell and she turned as pale as could be.

            Evander’s lips turned up in a slight smile and his eyelids drooped, only to blink and open completely again, like he was trying not to fall asleep. “He got away,” he murmured. “He got away from me, Sparrow…I…couldn’t…”

            A long, thick smear of dark red blood ran from his left shoulder to the middle of his torso and it was dripping through his shirt. He mumbled something Sparrow couldn’t understand and then fell forward, landing in her arms and making her fall to the ground. A look of terror crossed her face and she pulled him into her lap, cradling his head in her arms.

            “Evander! Evander!” Her lower lip quivered and she could hear the whimpers and groans coming from her throat. “Evander, no! No! You can’t do this, you can’t…You can’t!” Her shirt and hands were covered in his blood and when she looked at her palm she screamed. They were perhaps a mile away from their friends and she had nothing but her axes on her.

            This wasn’t going to happen to her. Not again.

            “ _NO!!”_

* * *

             “Well, that’s going to hurt their chances.”

            “Such a shame! I really thought he was going to last longer.”

            “Do we still bet on the girl? Or do you think she’s going to off herself? That happened fairly recently, didn’t it?”

            Conall’s teeth were gritted and he slammed his fist down on the bar. Antonia was at his side once more, and the two of them were pale.

            “He isn’t dead! I assure you, he’s going to make it,” Conall said as calmly as possible, which wasn’t much at all. His fingers dug into his palms as he spoke and it was hard not to explode at all of these people who had suddenly found it necessary to deride Evander as a weakling. “We have strong hopes for him and his sister both! And we need your help to make sure he lives!” He looked to Antonia for help; she was much better at remaining pleasant in the face of stress.

            The waiflike woman rose from her seat and took an orange-haired lady’s hand in hers. “Flora, I know that you’ve helped our boys and girls before. You were one of the generous donors who helped me survive my own Games, as I recall. You won’t let us down now, will you?” She smiled, her soulful blue eyes quite convincing.

            “Oh, I…I don’t know, Antonia. That looks like an awful wound,” the woman frowned as she looked back at the screens. Most of them were showing some angle of Evander in Sparrow’s lap as the young girl peeled off her jacket and tried to stop his bleeding.

            “Please, Flora. If Evander pulls through, he has a very high chance of winning. He and his sister need each other,” Antonia coaxed her.

            An older man with a curled mustache sighed and handed Antonia a large amount of money. “The wife says that’s all I’m allowed to contribute during these Games. Use it wisely.”

            “Four hundred? That’ll buy a goddamn box of matches,” Conall grunted. Antonia nudged him in the gut with her elbow.

            “That will help us, Grantaire. Thank you so much.” Antonia gave the old man a polite bow and continued to look at the people who had surrounded them. Money was being shoved in her direction from so many hands that she was beginning to be overwhelmed.

            “He needs medicine. The best there is. The next best thing we can hope for is stitches, and that Sparrow knows how to sew,” Conall murmured. He watched Antonia count the money as it poured in from hopeful sponsors who had all been moved by the siblings from District Five.

            “We need ten thousand for that,” Antonia announced when she looked at the stand where sponsors could purchase items. The miracle medicine that Evander needed was one of the most expensive items, already at the steep cost of ten thousand after so little time in the arena. The only things that were more expensive were high-caliber weapons.

            They kept counting as sponsors searched their pockets, scribbled in their checkbooks, and had their friends bring them more money. Three thousand. Forty-seven hundred. Sixty-two fifty. Nine thousand. So close…

            “Here. I had planned on saving this for Valeria, but she’s gone.” A young man in a powder-blue suit handed Antonia exactly what they needed. “Best of luck to your tributes,” he nodded, and with that he left the crowd.

            “Oh my God,” Antonia whispered. “It’s…it’s a thousand.” She exchanged a look with Conall and he nodded, taking the money from her and heading for the parachute kiosk.

            “The medicine,” he said as he set the huge pile of cash on the counter. The concierge raised an eyebrow. “For District Five. And make it quick.” He raised his eyebrows and left with both relief and worry in his heart – relieved that they had made the money, but worried that it might not work, or wouldn’t be enough. All they could do was wait.


	20. Chapter 20

_There is a child sleeping near his twin_

_The pictures go wild in a rush of wind_

_That dark angel, he is shuffling in_

_Watching over them with his black feather wings unfurled_

_The love you lost with her skin so fair_

_Is free with the wind in her butterscotch hair_

_Her green eyes blew goodbyes_

_With her head in her hands_

_And your kiss on the lips of another_

_Dream brother, with your tears scattered round the world._

_(Jeff Buckley)_

* * *

            “Evander. Evander, wake up…please…”

            The muffled voice sounded like his sister’s, but as Evander struggled to wake up, it changed. Now it was a male voice, one that was so familiar. He frowned and opened his eyes, gasping when he saw none other than Huxley standing in front of him.

            “There you are. I was hoping you’d get up soon,” he smiled and crouched down beside him. He looked over Evander’s chest and shook his head. “You really got a number done on yourself, didn’t you? But hey, you’re still here. Good job.” He patted his shoulder – the one that wasn’t injured – and sat down on the ground, his strong arms around his knees.

            “Why are you here?” Evander murmured in confusion. “You’re…not…”

            “Alive?” Huxley raised his eyebrows, chuckling quietly when Evander blushed. “It’s okay, you can say it. I’m not really here, but you’re not crazy either. I was just dying to talk to you. Get it?”

            Evander rolled his eyes as Huxley laughed again. He had always been the one to turn every situation around for the better. “So I’m just dreaming?”

            “Just dreaming, don’t worry. You’re going to wake up soon enough, and I’ll be gone. But you have to hear me first,” the larger boy answered. “You saved her, Ev. She could have died, but you risked everything and saved her. Thank you.”

            Evander swallowed and rubbed his eyes, shaking his head. He had saved Sparrow’s life, so why was he feeling guilty?

* * *

             _“It’s going to collapse!” A group of workers ran by the room in which Huxley and Evander were checking inventory. “You’ve got to get out, the structure’s breaking!”_

_The young men exchanged a look, both their faces turning pale. “That’s what that noise is? What…what happened?” Evander frowned. His stomach lurched and he peeked out of the doorway, where the rumbling was getting louder and more intense. His throat ran dry and he looked down to see that his hands were shaking._

_“No time to ask, we have to go. Let’s go! Let’s go, Ev, come on!” Huxley said in a surprisingly calm, firm voice. He wasn’t shaking or confused or scared like Evander was; it was like he had been prepared for this from the start. The two of them ran towards the emergency exit, but they skidded to a stop when they saw it was blocked by rubble that was still settling. A few busted lights swung above their heads and sparks intermittently rained down around them._

_“The main stairs,” Huxley said, and Evander nodded in agreement. They ran in the opposite direction toward the main stairwell, where fallen beams and broken glass were scattered about in dangerous patterns. Screams and cries of desperation came from the basement they had just left, and there was a horrible crash. Evander stopped to look back only to see that part of the concrete stairs had collapsed and blocked the way out of the basement._

_“Oh, God!” he gasped, eyes wide. Whoever had been down there still was now stuck forever – or already dead. “Go! Go!” he cried._

_Huxley jumped over the gap in the stairs, grunting as he pulled himself up. “Come on, I’ll help you up!” He reached for Evander’s hands and soon both boys were safely on the landing. “Almost out. We’ll be home before dinner,” he panted, laughing amidst all the chaos. He waited for Evander to go in front of him and followed him up the stairs. They could see sunlight coming in through the open door just a dozen yards in front of them._

_All was well for a few brief seconds, and then there was a deafening crash. Glass shattered and the floor shook as a huge slab of concrete floor fell from above. Evander turned around and he screamed as he saw Huxley pinned down beneath it all. His legs were crushed from the middle of his thighs downwards. He groaned and coughed violently, reaching a trembling arm up to shake glass and rocks out of his hair._

_“Oh god, oh god, oh god…” Evander was close to vomiting as he knelt by his friend, and he knew it was useless to try and get him out. And he wasn’t about to try and amputate his legs. “D-don’t worry, Huxley, I’m…I’m gonna get someone to get you out, okay? I’m gonna…I’m gonna help…” The bile was rising in his throat and his eyes stung with fresh tears. He started to get up, his long legs scrambling to find their footing._

_“No,” Huxley whispered, coughing again and reaching for his arm. His grip was still strong. “Don’t go. You get out of here, and you g-go home, alright?” He squeezed his eyes shut and grunted as more rubble settled, further burying his legs. “I need you to…I need you to take this…”_

_Evander’s vision was blurred with tears and dust and he sniffed. He had to get out soon, or else he would be crushed as well. He felt Huxley’s hand touch his and drop something into his palm._

_“G-give it to her…please. And tell her I’m sorry,” he stammered, struggling to breathe. “I’m sorry for making her wait.”_

_Evander shook his head, refusing to believe this was happening. If they had just left a few seconds earlier…_

_“A-and now…I’m waiting for her. Tell her that. Go on, now,” Huxley said with a weak, but still sweet smile. He clasped Evander’s hand and watched him get up, the light slowly leaving his blue eyes._

* * *

            Oh yes. That’s why.

            “You still need to give it to her,” Huxley said quietly and got up to look at Sparrow. She was asleep, her head resting on a pile of palm branches. He smiled, but there was a sense of longing and sadness in his face. “She needs that strength. I know she has it inside her, but she hasn’t been the same since the accident. Everyone knows that.” He knelt beside the sleeping young girl and his fingertips brushed over her forehead and temple with the gentlest touch. She mumbled something and shifted around, her lips pooched out and a bit of drool coming out of the corner of her mouth. Huxley grinned and he carefully wiped it away with his thumb. “She’s taking care of you, like she always has. You have to keep doing it for her too, though. She needs you as much as you need her.”

            He kissed her forehead and he was gone.

* * *

            Cool water touched Evander’s skin and his eyes opened in surprise. He mumbled something unintelligible and looked around in confusion. He was back in his home, lying on the faded old couch, and his head was propped up in someone’s lap. He looked up and his mouth opened as he saw long dark hair framing a round, wide-eyed face. She looked like a doll. “Aurelia?”

            “Shh, don’t strain yourself. You had an accident and were out for a while, but I made sure you were taken care of,” she explained in a quiet voice. Her fingers caressed his face and she gave him a warm smile, which made him forget all about the pain in his chest. He sat up despite her quiet protests and groaned, seeing the bandages wrapped around his shoulder and chest.

            “You did this? Wow…Very professional,” he smiled. He reached up to stroke her cheek and kissed her soft pink lips. “What happened? I don’t even remember, really…”

            She sighed and eased him back down into her lap, where she stroked his hair. “You got yourself into some trouble sticking up for Sparrow. You shouldn’t have done that, Evvie, but you did…Nothing gets between you and your sister, does it?” she laughed softly and shook her head. “As upset as we all are about what happened, here you are. And she’s here too, safe and sound, thanks to you. But please, Evvie, don’t do anything like that again. We can’t afford to lose you.”

            A baby’s cooing came from nearby and Evander sat back up, alarmed at the sound. His heart began to beat faster and he saw the old crib that their family had used for generations.

            “Can I see her?” he whispered like a nervous, excited little boy.

            Aurelia smiled and nodded, laughing a little. “She’s your daughter, Evander. You have every right.” She got up and pulled the crib over. “Come on, sweetheart, let’s see your daddy!”

            But before he at last could see his baby girl’s face, the scenery changed entirely.

* * *

            “Son of a—aaagh!” Sparrow gasped, and Evander was startled by the sound of a loud thump and his sister flailing around in the grass. She squealed and swatted her clothes wildly, her hair getting quite messy in the process. She sat up and caught her breath after a short moment, looking over at her brother and sighing deeply. “Spiders,” she muttered, whimpering and looking around nervously, as if the little beast would come back with reinforcements. She looked down at her feet and then snapped back to her brother. “Oh my God! You’re awake!” She suddenly forgot about everything else and scooted closer to her brother. “Are you okay? How’s your wound? Jeez, you were out so long, I was worried, but I kept checking to make sure you were breathing every hour,” she smiled, looking exhausted but relieved.

            “I’m up,” Evander whispered, and he grunted as he put a hand to his chest. There was no bandage, but when he pulled away the blanket she had draped over him, there was only a thin red line where a huge bleeding gash had been not too long ago. “How…How long was I out?” He took the water bottle she offered him and as he drank from it, the cool liquid soothed his body.

            “Two days. They sent medicine not even an hour after you were hurt. I kept applying it and praying it would work, and it did,” she smiled. She opened a metal jar and stuck her fingers inside, applying some light purple goo on his chest. Evander shivered, the cold medicine tickling him, and Sparrow laughed softly. “You better not get hurt anymore, we’re almost out.” She showed him the jar, which was nearly empty. “But I’m going to keep applying it until you’re all better.” She hugged her older brother and kissed his cheek.

* * *

            Antonia returned to the fifth floor suite and kicked off her heels as she went to the dandelion-colored couch. She laid down and folded her arms underneath her head, looking much less stressed than she had been that morning.

            “Yes?” Conall murmured and stopped watching the television to look at his co-mentor. “Everything go well?”

            “I told him to go to hell,” she announced with a proud little smirk on her face. “Our tributes have proven capable of taking care of themselves, and I don’t need to be a slave for him or anyone else.”

            “And he didn’t have you executed on the spot?”

            “He doesn’t do things like that, Conall. You know that. I’m sure he’s got something coming for me, but for now…I feel good. Wonderful, even. I don’t have Snow whoring me out, and I can sleep. I can _sleep_!” She sat up and poured herself a glass of wine, politely excusing the Avox who wanted to do it for her. “No thanks, love. I can do it myself.”

            Conall sighed and sank into his chair, his bulky frame taking up most of it. “God, I don’t want to think about how he’s plotting to destroy you.”

            “We all get what’s coming to us, Conall.” She took a long drink of wine and set down the glass before tucking her feet in and watching the screen. “Might as well make the most of our time while we have it. And I’m not going to let him own me a second longer.”


	21. Chapter 21

_Can't help myself but count the flaws_

_Claw my way out through these walls_

_One temporary escape_

_Feel it start to permeate_

_We lie beneath the stars at night_

_Our hands gripping each other tight_

_You keep my secrets hope to die_

_Promises, swear them to the sky_

_As it withers, brittle it shakes_

_Can you whisper? As it crumbles and breaks_

_As you shiver, count up all your mistakes_

_Pair of forgivers, let go before it's too late_

_(The Naked and Famous)_

* * *

            “How is he?”

            Evander opened his eyes to find Milo, Moira, Stella and Sparrow sitting around him talking quietly. He sat up and felt no pain, and there was no blood on his bandage. “I’m pretty good,” he said with a smile.

            Sparrow smiled back at him and she handed him a cooked piece of meat from a large bird they had caught earlier. “Eat up, we need to move. We’ve been here for a little too long, and they’ve probably seen our fire.” She nodded at the pile of ashes nearby, which had a thin line of smoke rising from it.

            Milo went to go pack their things and Moira followed him. Sparrow watched them talk, noticing how red Moira’s cheeks were and how she kept smiling and giggling. Milo held a lock of her scarlet hair and kissed her forehead, and the small girl pressed herself against him. She missed feeling that way. She didn’t want to think about what would happen when the two were separated. That was a kind of pain she wouldn’t wish on anyone; she knew it all too well.

            “Milo and Moira, sitting under a tree, almost k-i-s-s-i-n-g,” Stella sang when she appeared at Sparrow’s side. She grinned and looked up at the tall girl with those wide brown eyes that had seen far more than anyone her age ever should.

            “Yeah, yeah. Maybe we should leave them alone,” Sparrow teased and she patted Stella’s shoulder. She gave the lovebirds one last look and led Stella back to Evander, who was peeking under his bandages.

            “It’s like nothing ever happened,” he said in awe, showing the girls the faint red lines where he had been gushing blood mere days before. “Amazing, isn’t it?”

            Sparrow nodded. “Well, we have some great sponsors.” She was tempted to wink, like she had just remembered she was on camera. All of this was, uncensored. And whatever she did, that was what she was going to be remembered for, when they played recaps of the Seventy-Second Hunger Games. She had to make sure that whatever she was remembered for, it would be good.

* * *

            “Seneca.”

            Seneca Crane turned around to see the president himself standing in the control room. He left the Gamemaker he had been speaking to and went to Snow’s side, ready to grant his every request. “Yes, President Snow?”

            The old man licked his puffy lips and looked at the large display in the middle of the room, which showed the locations of the remaining tributes. “I need you to speed things up. There hasn’t been any excitement for days. The girl that was sick died, such a shame to watch a pretty girl vomit her own blood, but we haven’t seen real bloodshed in ages. I thought I chose you for this position for a reason. You don’t want to let a nation down in your first year as Head Gamemaker…do you?”

            The young man swallowed and looked down at the map of tributes. There were twelve tributes left – only half of them had died in the first week. It was nothing compared to the usual bloodbath that previous Gamemakers had provided.

            “We aren’t supposed to be bored, Seneca. Do your job. I think District Five needs to learn a lesson.” Snow had waited for a quiet moment to exact his revenge on Antonia for defying him, and here it was. “At least one of those siblings has to die eventually, don’t they?” He raised his white eyebrows and then was gone, the scent of roses and blood lingering in the air.

            Seneca gulped and slowly headed down the stairs so he was in the middle of the room. His eyes wandered the map, following each little number as they moved around the projection. He paused at the two fives, which never strayed far from one another. That had been consistent since the first day.

            “I need a muttation attack at the east end of the river. Pen them all up in this stretch here,” he commanded as his hands moved across the screen. “Break the dam. Bring in a storm. Whatever you’ve got to do to start a party, do it.”

* * *

            They had been walking for half an hour when thunder rumbled in the distance. It sounded like a cannon had sounded at the same time, but they couldn’t be sure. Stella looked up at Sparrow, who in turn was looking at the sky. Gray was peeking through the canopy of leaves instead of blue, and the leaves rustled as birds flocked to a safer place.

            “Great,” Milo sighed. He pulled the blanket out of the bag, which he had volunteered to carry, and offered it to Moira. “Keep yourselves covered. It sounds like it’s gonna be a nasty storm.”

            “Thank you, Milo.” Moira gave him an affectionate look, smiling warmly at him. “Stella, come here. You can fit under here, too.” She held up the blanket and made sure the little girl was protected by it as well. The three of them followed the Jacturnas, who had their eyes peeled for any incoming threats.

            Muffled thunder rolled again and they waited for the rain to pour or lightning to strike. Nothing came yet. The wind blew for a moment, and everything was eerily quiet.

            “Weird,” Evander mumbled. He looked at his sister, who had furrowed her brow. She slowed down and the rest of the group followed suit. Something was off.

            “Sparrow?” Moira asked, her voice soft and tinged with worry. “What’s the matter?”

            The blonde held up her hand as the rumbling seemed to move closer. That wasn’t what thunder sounded like. Either the acoustics in the arena were off, or ---

            “That’s not thunder.” Milo’s face was pale and there was fear in his voice. Before anyone could reply, there was a horrible roar from some nearby bushes. Stella screamed and clung tightly to Moira, who dropped the blanket.

            “Oh, _god_!” Moira cried, and she slowly backed away. Milo had been right in that it wasn’t thunder. Staring at them was a huge animal that came up to Moira’s shoulders, and must have weighed as much as all of the kids put together. Its eyes were red with dark pupils, and when it opened its mouth all they could see were bloodthirsty fangs. The fur that covered its enormous body was colored with alternate stripes of black and beige. It looked like an extremely large, demonic cat. And it had friends.

            The group was paralyzed in terror as more and more of the creatures emerged from the scenery. There had to be at least seven, and they were all growling and slowly approaching them. Their noses twitched at the smell of flesh and blood, and then the rain began.

            “Just go,” Sparrow hissed, and she slowly reached for her throwing axes from her backpack. “Go! _Go!_ ”

            Milo broke into a run in the opposite direction, the two smaller girls close behind. The girls were whimpering and screaming as the tiger mutts ran after them, and it was a miracle they didn’t slip on the muddy jungle floor. The rain was pouring and it was like swimming through a never-ending sheet of water. Milo could hardly see in front of himself, but he let his legs take charge and lead the way – to what, he had no idea, but it was better than being mauled to death. “Come on! Come on, don’t stop!” He continuously looked over his shoulder to see Moira and Stella, both drenched but still close behind him. He wanted to stop, to get Evander and Sparrow, but he knew they would make it. Stopping was not an option.

             “Milo!” Moira cried, and she grasped his hand. Stella was right at her side, her short blonde hair sticking to her face from the rain. The redhead held tightly to Milo and they skidded to a stop as the ground gave way to a river. The rain was still pouring and the water was rising. Sticks and dirt rushed by in the water, which seemed to be ripping things out of the ground.

            “There’s no way we can swim across that,” Stella panted, her arms around Moira’s waist. The girls looked back to see whether Sparrow and Evander had caught up to them yet, but there was no sign of them.

            Sparrow was in fact trying to lure the mutts away from the others, taunting them and holding out her axes as they tried to pounce on her. She was soaked to the bone from the rain, her clothes clinging to her body and her skin visible underneath the worn-down fabric.  She shook the wet hair out of her eyes and threw an axe right into the head of one of the mutts, an involuntary battle cry escaping her lips. She ran to it and yanked the axe out of its head, slitting its throat for good measure. “That’s right, you bastards! I’ll kill all of you if you touch us!” She was possessed by some force that was buried inside of her, that had been sleeping for all these years. She had power and she wasn’t hiding it anymore.

            Evander stared at his sister like she was a completely different human being. Often he would see Careers display this sort of brutal strength, unflinching as they killed for food or murdered another tribute, but his sister was doing what he should have been. He was her older brother, and he should have been protecting her. But here she was, getting drenched in the dark blood of tiger mutts, mud, sweat, and rain, and he was not scared of her. He was proud. If he wasn’t going to be strong enough for the both of them, she would. He had already almost died defending her. They both had to protect each other – it was her turn now.

            “Find them! Find Milo and Moira and Stella!” she screamed after lighting illuminated the scene. She had come a long way from the happy, innocent young girl who jumped into Huxley’s arms when he came to visit after work. She wasn’t the unsmiling, quiet girl who spent her days crying over her lost love, either. This was Sparrow Jacturna, District Five tribute. Warrior. Defender. Very likely winner of the Seventy-Second Hunger Games. And Evander could not have dreamed of a better ally, by birth or by choice.

            The last mutt was slayed and Sparrow wiped the blood and matted fur from her axes with her shirt. The sharp blades made long tears in the fabric and she stuffed her weapons back into her bag. “Let’s go. We have to find them,” she nodded to her brother. The rain had not let up, but there was at least some more sun than there had been a few minutes ago. A cannon boomed and birds shrieked at the sound. Now they were running faster, hoping against all hope that hadn’t been for one of their friends.

            Evander swallowed and ran with his sister to the river’s edge, where Milo was carefully climbing into the water. He held tightly to one of the boulders in the river and sighed with relief, looking to the two girls who waited at the riverbank.

            “Halfway there, come on. You can do it, Moira!” He smiled to the redhead, hoping to coax her into the water. “Just hold on to my hand and I’ll get you across. Hold tight!” He reached for her hand and his muscles bulged as he helped to pull her into the river.

            Moira whimpered and she held her breath as the water rushed over her, leaving dirt on her pale skin. “I…I can’t swim, Milo,” she blurted, spitting out some water. Her lower lip quivered and she gasped as he kept pulling her.

            “Just push yourself to me! Come on, we’re almost there…Hold on to me. I’m not going anywhere,” he murmured. “I’m right here, love.”

            Their eyes met for one sweet, brief moment and as she eased her way towards him, Milo yelled in pain. The dirty river ran red and Moira screamed, letting go of his hand. Blood poured from his other hand and when he looked to Moira, she was gone. The only sign of her was her red hair rushing down the current.

            “Shit! Oh, shit! Moira!” Milo gritted his teeth as he pulled the arrow out of his injured hand, throwing it away. “Moira! No!”

            “Milo! Help!” Her voice was small, fading away as she was swept down the river. There was no sound except for the rushing of water, and then a terrible scream. A cannon. Silence again.

            The others were pale as they looked at one another. Milo clung to the rock, hanging his head. His hand was bleeding profusely but he clearly didn’t give a damn. He had lost something – someone – much more valuable.

            “Milo, we…we’ll get across the river,” Evander blurted, his hands trembling. “We’ll find who shot the arrow, a-and… we’ll get them…” He started to reach for him so they could begin the swim to the other side, but stopped when the other boy looked up.

            “I can’t,” Milo muttered. His eyes were bloodshot and he shook his head. “I can’t do it. You win this, for me. For her.” He swallowed and then let go, and Stella cried out when the river swept him the same way it had taken Moira. A few moments later, there was another cannon.

            Sparrow squeezed her eyes shut and wrapped her arms around Stella, cradling the little girl and sniffling. In less than a minute, they had lost almost half of their group. The rain began to slow down and when she next looked up, it was nothing but a light drizzle. Evander was sitting at the edge of the river, his arms wrapped around his knees.

            “Come on. Let’s go,” she whispered, slowly getting up. She helped Stella to her feet and held tightly to her hand as the three of them approached the now-passable river. It was almost cruel that they were wading across to safety, while Milo and Moira had died trying to do the same thing. They could have made it, if Milo had not been shot. Sparrow’s insides burned at the idea. _This was someone’s doing._

* * *

             They had found a small cave a couple hours later, and after Sparrow had checked it for any inhabitants, they decided to spend the rest of the evening there. They laid their things out on the floor to let them dry, and Stella spent the night cuddled up next to Sparrow. They sat quietly until the anthem started, and Sparrow went to look out the entrance of the cave.

            The boy from Two. The boy from Four, which was surprising. He couldn’t have drowned; the mutts or some other horrible thing must have gotten him. Moira, a hint of a smile even in her tribute photo. The gangly girl from Seven. The song ended and the images vanished. There was no Milo.

            He was still alive.


	22. Chapter 22

_I should go now quietly_

_For my bones have found a place to lie down and sleep_

_Where all my layers can become reeds_

_All my limbs can become trees_

_All my children can become me_

_What a mess I leave to follow_

_(Daughter)_

* * *

            “He’s still out there,” Sparrow panted when she walked into the cave, her eyes wide. “He’s alive. His name wasn’t in the sky.”

            Evander and Stella both looked at her in confusion. “Then where is he?” he asked, holding the small girl to him and rubbing her arms to keep her warm. “He went down the river.”

            Sparrow swallowed and wiped her brow with the back of his hand. “I have to get him. I’m going to get him, Evander.”

            He stood up and stared at her in disbelief. “No! No, you can’t. Those things are still out there!” He shook his head and stepped closer to her. There was no way he was going to lose his sister. He set his hands on his shoulders and bit his lower lip. “Please, Sparrow, don’t go. You can’t.” He looked back at Stella, who was shivering and huddling in the small blanket they had. “We have to stay together, especially since there’s just three of us left.”

            She shook her head and kissed his cheek. “I’ll be back. With him, I promise.” She looked at Stella, giving her a small wave. “You two stay here, okay? I’m coming back.” She took her axes and went on her way, the light drizzle falling on her hair as she walked.

* * *

             Conall rubbed his eyes with his hands and sighed deeply. He had been up for almost a day straight, unable to sleep from all the stress. Watching his tributes get separated was hard enough, but he didn’t like the idea of Sparrow all alone. Even though she had more than proven her strength lately, he still worried about her. Losing Sparrow was a death sentence for her brother.

            “Just eight left,” Antonia murmured when she sat next to her co-mentor. She patted his shoulder and gave him a small smile. “They’re going to make it. That was some of the worst interference the Gamemakers have given them, and they pulled through.” She sighed and finished off her glass of water. “But we’ve run our sponsors dry. That medicine was expensive enough, so if they need anything else…” She swallowed, not wanting to finish the sentence.

            Conall grunted. “We have to get them home. I made a promise.”

* * *

            Stella coughed and looked up at Evander with tired eyes. Her eyelids drooped and she mumbled something in her small voice. He frowned and wiped some dirt from her cheek, reminded so much of his sister. “You okay, Stella?”

            She coughed again and laid on the ground, curling up into a ball and closing her eyes. Her skin was pale even in the firelight and her forehead was coated with a thin film of sweat. “I don’t feel good,” she mumbled. She sniffed and stared at the ground, breathing through her mouth instead of her nose. “My stomach hurts.”

            He swallowed and moved over to her, setting a hand on her shoulder. Pressing the back of his hand to her forehead, he could feel that she was burning up. “Stella?” His throat began to close up and the color was gone from her cheeks. “I-it’s okay, we’ll get you something…” He went to rummage through the bags for some food, but the closest thing he found was an empty thermos. His eyes went to the opening of the cave, wishing Sparrow would come back. She could handle this much better than he would. “I’ll take care of you.” He set down the thermos and pulled Stella back into his arms, putting the blanket around her small body. “Please,” he whispered to no one in particular. “Please…”

* * *

            Sparrow had made sure not to wander too far from the cave. She pushed palm branches out of her way, stepping as carefully as possible. There was a rustling nearby and she immediately dropped to the ground, peeking through a couple of mossy boulders. She nearly screamed when a pair of legs appeared in front of her. She couldn’t see who it was, but the soft sound of the person’s panting told her it was a girl. She quickly did the math in her head- besides Stella and herself, only two girls were left, and both were Careers. The girls from One and Four. The one from Four, Mira, hadn’t come across as very threatening, but Carina was another story. Sparrow remembered how vindictive the dark-haired girl had seemed during training, just as bad as her partner.

            “No,” the girl whispered. “No, no, no…” She sounded desperate and Sparrow felt pity for her. Carina would never seem so weak; it had to be Mira. Sparrow went out on a limb and stood up, tapping her shoulder. The girl turned to her, her short brown hair almost the same color as her wide eyes.

            “It’s okay,” Sparrow whispered. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

            “He is,” Mira breathed. Her voice was shaky and she swallowed with some difficulty. “H-he’s got so many knives, he must have gotten them from people he killed…He’s going to kill me!” She whimpered in fear and looked over her shoulder, as if she had sensed someone else’s presence. “He got Regen. He got my partner. And I know he’s going to get me.”

            “Who is?” She couldn’t have been talking about Milo or Evander. That left just Rex and the boy from Seven, and both of them had proven to be lethal. “Who’s after you?”

            Mira shook her head and suddenly bolted like her life depended on it, and maybe it did. As much as Sparrow wanted to help her, she knew she couldn’t. She had already agreed to go find Milo, and she had Stella and Evander to take care of. Mira would be alright. She was a Career, she could handle—

            Less than a moment later, there was a bloodcurdling scream from somewhere way too close for comfort. Sparrow covered her ears and shut her eyes, willing it to go away, but the sound of a cannon shook the earth. She was filled with terror and her feet led her in another direction, her mind too jumbled for rational thought. She was going to get lost and perhaps never return. All she knew how to do at this point was run, run, run.

* * *

            It had been at least two hours since Sparrow left the cave, and Evander was still watching the entrance. Dusk had long since fallen and Stella was asleep in his arms, having been soothed by his humming and the way he gently pet her hair. Sparrow had been like that, too. She was comforted more by her brother than either of their parents. He could feel his stomach turning and he knew it was worry, not whatever ailment Stella had caught. Being separated from his sister was physically painful enough, but never had he been worried that someone – or something – would kill her.

            “It’s gonna be okay,” he whispered to Stella, still running his fingers through her short hair. “We’ll get you taken care of. I promise, okay? Someone will get us medicine, or something. Maybe Sparrow will finish everyone else off.” He smiled faintly and his throat began to close up with the promise of tears. He took the small metal pendant she had tied around her neck, assuming it was her token, and upon examining it found it had a bird engraved on it. It was just a simple little songbird, but Evander felt tears roll down his cheeks. Already this little girl had beaten the odds of surviving thus far, and whether it was due to luck or her abilities, here she was. She was one of the final tributes, and they would be conducting interviews with her family back home. Evander’s heart stopped for a brief moment as he remembered that – an interview. His family would be doing double duty, talking about both him and Sparrow for the cameras. He sniffed and sat back against the cave wall, fingering the ring he had kept safely tied around his neck during the Games.

            He wondered who they were more worried about – him, or his sister. Instantly he hated himself for even considering that. Of course, both of them were important to their family. And still he prayed that somehow, some way, both of them would live to see Aurelia and their brothers again.

* * *

              In the middle of the night Sparrow was feeling her way around in total darkness. She had nearly given up hope when there was a flicker of light, and when she stopped moving she could hear the soft rushing of water. Her instincts led her through the jungle to the edge of a waterfall, and while its beauty momentarily distracted her, she realized someone was here. She readied her axes as she went further along the edge, prepared for the worst, but a relieved smile appeared on her lips as she saw who it was.

            “Milo,” she whispered, stuffing her axes into her backpack. She could see his somber expression in the light of his fire and swallowed, the smile fading from her face. “Milo? Aren’t you worried someone’s going to see the fire? I could see it from a mile away.”

            He shrugged and she noticed just how much he had changed in the span of a few hours. Gone was the handsome Milo who had blushed almost as much as Evander when he was near Moira. His eyes stared at the fire ahead of him and though he had wounds that bled, he obviously had other things on his mind.

            “Let me take care of those. You’re cut up really badly, Milo,” she said in a gentle voice as she approached him. She knelt by his side, reaching for his arm and frowning at how shredded the skin was. “This happened down the river?”

            No answer. He didn’t even look her in the eyes.

            “I’ll find something,” she said after a moment. She set her bag down and rummaged through it, finding part of her pant leg that had been ripped off. She was down to wearing shorts and a t-shirt along with her boots – it mostly solved the problem of getting too warm, but now she had much less material covering her body. “Here. I can try to clean you up, but I don’t have any more supplies.”

            “No, stop! Don’t you get it? It’s pointless!” he barked, scaring her so much that she fell back on her bottom. Sparrow stared at him, wide-eyed, until he continued. The playful tone in his voice was gone, replaced with the bitterness a child should never know. “I’m not going to make it anyway. I don’t want to. I just want out, do you understand? If I have to bleed to death to do that, I will.”

            She didn’t like what she was hearing, but she understood. He was right – only one of them would come out alive. “That’s a horrible way to die,” she whispered, hands folded in her lap as they clutched the ripped fabric that had once been part of her pants. “I wouldn’t wish that on you, or on anyone I know.”

            He scoffed and rested his elbow on his knee, finally meeting her eyes. “I tried to drown in the river. Do you know how hard it is to _try_ to drown? It’s impossible. All your body does is force itself to stop being underwater, and all you get is brief unconsciousness. Then you wake up and things are worse than they were before. Then I tried to hit my head on a rock or something, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t knowingly break my own skull. That’s one of the things humans are programmed not to do. It’s our instinct to survive, not destroy ourselves. Killing other people, sure, that’s fine, but killing yourself is another story.”

            Sparrow’s stomach twisted and she bit her lip. “If you keep pulling through, maybe you can make it.”

            “And do what? Watch you all die? Kill you myself?” He sighed and kicked a piece of wood into the fire, and some ashes burst from the flames, scattering themselves on the dirt where they soon died out. “I can’t do that. I’ve already lost what meant the most to me. I only knew her for a short time, but…she was everything. And I couldn’t help myself from loving her.”

            She was silent, not sure of what to say. “It hurts to lose someone too soon,” she finally said. The shakiness in her voice betrayed her and she had to look at the ground so she wouldn’t start to cry. “Before you’ve even had a chance to live your lives together.  And all you want to do is go back in time and change one tiny detail – maybe if you did this, maybe if you said that, then things wouldn’t have ended the way they did.”

            She closed her eyes and saw glimpses of him, of Huxley. His bright smile, his laughing blue eyes, the way he ran his hand through his hair when he was trying to impress her. He was a goof, but it was the way he made her smile that was the first reason she fell in love with him. The first of a thousand. How he had to duck to get through the front door, or the veins in the back of his hand that showed when he squeezed her hand.

            “But we aren’t used to bad things happening to us. They do sometimes, but it’s silly things, like we wore mismatched socks to school or we did badly on a test. Nothing that haunts you for more than a day. You can fix that sort of thing – change your socks, study harder. But you can’t bring someone back from the dead.” She swallowed back the lump in her throat and didn’t bother to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “I know how you feel, Milo. And I’m not going to make you suffer any longer. You do what you want to do. Just know that…that you were a great friend to my brother and me. To Moira, to all of us. Thank you.” She kissed his cheek and stood up, gathering her things. She knew what it was to want to be left alone. With that, she was gone.

            Not too much later, while she was heading back to the cave that held her brother and Stella, she heard a cannon and saw the lights of a hovercraft over the waterfall. Milo’s face flashed in the sky and then all that was left was starlight.


	23. Chapter 23

_Dig up her bones but leave the soul alone_

_Lost in the pages of self-made cages_

_Life slips away and the ghosts come to play_

_These are hard times_

_These are hard times for dreamers_

_And love lost believers_

_Candybar creep show_

_My highs hit a new low_

_Marinate in misery_

_Like a girl of only seventeen_

_Man made madness_

_And the romance of sadness_

_A beautiful dance that happened by chance_

_Happened by chance, happened by chance_

_(MS MR)_

* * *

            Evander slowly opened his eyes to find that someone had burrowed against him in the middle of the night. He thought it was Stella due to the blonde hair that was in his mouth, but the curves on her body told him otherwise. Sparrow! He sighed with relief and nuzzled his face against her shoulder. “I missed you,” he whispered. His voice was muffled against her hair and it took all he had in him not to squeeze her hard.

            “Hi,” she murmured, surprising him. She rolled over to face him. “I slept like a baby, thanks to you.” She smiled, stroked his cheek, and then rolled onto her back. Her clothes were still damp from getting caught in the rain all night and the fabric of her shirt clung to her curves. Her brother’s cheeks turned red as he remembered walking in on her naked only days before – or was it weeks? How long had it been?

            “Where’s Stella?” she asked, interrupting his train of thought. She sat up and looked around, frowning. “Stella?” No response. “Stella?” Her voice rose with anxiety and she crawled out into the sun. It was blinding outside and she squinted as she tried to find the little girl. “Stella!”

            There was a terrible retching noise from not too far away and Sparrow felt her heart jump to her throat. She ran back inside to grab her axe and gripped the handle tightly. If someone was hurting Stella, they were about to pay.

            “I’m sorry,” a raspy little voice came from below. Sparrow stopped in her tracks to find Stella lying on the ground, her tiny body concealed by the brush. She dropped her weapon and knelt by Stella, taken aback at how pale she was. There was something trailing down her lower lip and she gasped at the vomit on the ground. It was tinged with blood.

            “What’s the matter? What happened?” she breathed. She checked over the young girl looking for wounds, but found none. Something had to have made her so sick. “Stella?”

            “I left because I didn’t wanna get you sick,” the little girl croaked. She looked up at Sparrow, her eyelids drooping. Her lips were a deep lilac color and there were circles under her eyes. She looked like death. “I can’t stop coughing, and…and now I can’t stop throwing up…I can’t move,” she whispered.

            Evander came running and stopped when he saw the two girls on the ground. He took off his tattered shirt and carefully used it to wipe the bile from Stella’s face. “She looked sick last night, but it wasn’t anything like this,” he mumbled. The siblings sat on either side of their friend, both tending to her as much as they could. The sun was terribly hot and Evander could feel the skin on his back burning, but he would endure a sunburn if it meant Stella would live. They had lost too many friends in such a short amount of time.

            “We’ll get you medicine. We’ll get something,” Sparrow reassured her. She left them and ran down the way until she found a small pond of water. Just to be safe she scooped up a handful and tested it, relieved that it tasted normal and her body didn’t seem to have any immediate problems with it. “Bring her down here! There’s water!” she called. “And get my axe, please.” No one was going to bother them today.

            Evander carried Stella to his sister, still holding her as he sat down. He cradled her like he had held his younger siblings years before. “Shh, it’s okay, Stella. We’ll get you taken care of. We will…don’t worry.” He stroked her cheek, feeling how hot her face was. He flinched when she began another violent coughing fit and blood was spattered on her bluish lips. His eyes met his sister’s, and both of them grew pale.

            “I’m not that dumb,” Sally managed to eke out. She rubbed her throat and groaned. “I’m sick. I’m not gonna make it.” She closed her eyes and tried to take slow, deep breaths, but Sparrow could hear her wheezing hard.

            “Come on, no talking like that. That’s not allowed. Let’s get you back inside, okay?” The older girl’s voice was mostly calm and soothing, but she was still afraid. She seemed to have a habit of losing the people who were important to her. She helped Evander pick her up and followed them as they went back towards the cave. Whatever had gotten Stella sick could just as easily spread to them – but then again, these were the Games, and anything could happen. Maybe something worse was in store for them, something she couldn’t run away from or fend off with a weapon. That scared her almost as much as the other tributes, who were bound to find them sooner than later.

* * *

            “Can you get her anything? Anything!” Conall had his head in his hands, the muscles of his jaw obviously tense. “Christ, she’s going to die. She’s going to die.”

            Antonia put a hand on top of his, the difference between their sizes almost comical. “We can’t fix everything,” she said quietly. Her eyes went to the screens. Carina and Rex, the fierce Careers from District One, were sitting at their campsite with a large collection of supplies they had taken from the Cornucopia. Watching them sit in the shade with their top-notch weapons in hand was unsettling. Ivo, the boy from Seven who Antonia was positive hadn’t uttered a word the entire time, was just slowly wandering the jungle. He didn’t seem lost; in fact, he looked like he was willingly taking his time, like the most patient and determined of hunters. That was almost worse than the trained killers who were enjoying some time off.

            And there, on the third main screen, were her tributes and their ailing friend. Biting her lip, Antonia stood up to watch more closely. With their light skin and blonde hair, they almost looked like family. She may have lost all of hers, but she remembered what it was like to know her family was in danger, and the even worse feeling of knowing she held their fate in her hands.

            “We’re out of money. We spent it all on Evander’s medicine,” she finally said. Conall turned to look at her and she almost flinched at the look on his face. He had never been so emotionally invested in any of the tributes they had previously mentored. Then again, none of them had made it this far. “I’ll see what I can do, but I think everyone else is betting on the other three. We wore them thin asking for money before.”

            “I don’t give a damn what everyone else is doing!” Conall stood from his seat and slammed his glass down on the bar, tiny shards and water sprinkling all over the counter. “They have to go home, do you understand me? They have to make it, and if we have to save that little kid to do it, we’re doing it!”

            Antonia looked at the floor as he passed her, his hulking frame soon disappearing from sight. He had made a bit of a scene, but soon everyone was chattering again. Glasses clinked, laughs rang out, and soon everything was back to normal. As normal as this sort of thing could be, at least. Unless by some miracle the top three contenders were eliminated, the siblings from Five stood little chance of surviving. It was then that she realized what Conall had said. _They_ _have to go home. They._

            But there could be no _they._

* * *

            Stella had fallen asleep, but she was shivering despite the thick heat and humidity. Sparrow sat between her brother’s legs, her back against his chest and her fingers carefully running through Stella’s hair. She had no idea how much time had passed, but she could hear thunder rumbling in the distance. Evander started when a particularly deep rumble resounded, but she turned her head and kissed his cheek, almost so softly that he couldn’t feel it.

            “It’s not an earthquake, Evvie. Just a storm,” she murmured. Her eyes followed his gaze to the cave’s entrance, where the leafy covering was blowing in the wind. The sky had grown dark and she sighed.

            “I know,” Evander said defensively, blushing. “You’re the little sister. I’m the one who’s supposed to protect you.”

            She smiled and nuzzled further back against him, her eyes meeting his. “Well, you’re doing a pretty lame job, aren’t you?” she teased. Her smile grew and dimples appeared in her round cheeks. She shook her head when he looked ashamed and rested it against his shoulder. “I’m kidding. You don’t know how to be silly, do you? You don’t remember?”

            “Remember…Oh.” His cheeks turned a warmer shade of pink and he put his arms around her body. “You wanted to be an escort, I remember that. You wanted to have crazy hair and wear weird outfits…That was your favorite part of the Reaping. Seeing what the escorts would wear in every district.” He sighed at the memory of his small sister watching the Reapings in wonder, green eyes wide, and how it had all changed when he turned twelve. When it was Evander’s name in the bowl, Sparrow became afraid of the Reapings. She had cried every night before the ceremony, every year, and wound up sleeping in his bed with him.

            “I didn’t get to sleep in your bed this year,” she whispered. Her face turned serious and she looked at his hand, where his simple wedding ring was missing. Had he lost it? Had they not allowed him to bring it? She suddenly couldn’t remember how long he had been without it.

            No, instead of waking up to his little sister on Reaping Day, Evander had woken up beside a very different, very pregnant young woman. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back.

            “I wonder what they said about us in the interview,” she murmured. “Flynn probably liked that, being on camera. He’s a ham. Arden wouldn’t,” she said with a small smile. “But he’s probably getting attention from all the girls now.” What she wouldn’t give to hold one of the boys in her arms right now… If she returned, everything would be different. “He’s going to be a lot like you, I think. Quiet, shy… but a hit with the ladies.” She looked up at her brother and stroked his jawline with her fingertip. “You’re a dad now, that…that’s so strange to me…”

            Both of them jumped when thunder clapped and lightning briefly lit up the cave. When their heart rates went back to normal they saw Stella had woken up.

            “Hey, you,” Sparrow said softly, brushing the hair out of her eyes. “How are you feeling?”

            The small girl looked up, her sickly pale skin accentuating the dark circles under her eyes. “Not good,” she replied, her voice croaking quietly. “My…chest hurts.” She cleared her throat and then started coughing hard. “Ev...ander…”

            Evander pulled Stella into his arms and he tried to soothe her, but he was so scared that he wasn’t quite sure what to do. They had no medicine. Their water was running out and it was too dangerous to go outside in the storm.

            “I’ll be back,” Sparrow whispered. She kissed the top of Stella’s head and ran outside, slipping on the wet grass and grunting when she landed on her face. Rain was pouring and lightning flashed, and she thought she saw someone very familiar when the sky was illuminated. “Hux?” she hissed, seeing a tall boyish figure a ways away. She pushed herself up and scrambled to stand, careful not to slip again. “Hux?”

            It was a different boy, though. Now she was certain he was really there. Her eyes grew wide when she realized this was no friend. It was Rex, the cocksure boy from One. Funny – she had almost forgotten they were not alone in the arena.

            “No,” she whispered, shaking her head. “No, don’t come here…Don’t come here, please…” She hadn’t brought her axe outside. She had only run out in an attempt to find something for Stella, and now she had given away their position. If she ran back into the cave, they were trapped with a ruthless killer. If she stayed out here, she could only run, and God knew what other trouble she would find. So she decided to take her chances. 

* * *

            “Stella, it’s okay. Sparrow’s gonna find something,” Evander whispered. He was holding the little girl in his arms, trying to warm her up as she shivered. The coughs coming from her were deep, almost guttural, and tears stung his eyes as she curled up against him. He wanted to believe that a miracle would happen, but it wouldn’t. “It’s okay. Nobody’s going to hurt you.”

            He was running out of things to say, as comforting a dying child was easier said than done. When he looked down at her, he remembered his own sister at twelve. She had been a small thing, too, but when had she grown into a woman? It had happened right under his nose, but he couldn’t pinpoint when. He remembered how small she seemed compared to Huxley, but over the years they were together, she had grown so much. When Aurelia grew up, she had almost taken over for Sparrow. There weren’t as many long talks between brother and sister, and hugs and kisses had become awkward. When was the last time he had held her like this?

            Stella was panting quietly, her breath raspy. “You have to go home,” she managed to get out. “You…you have to, otherwise…This is gonna be for nothing,” she said with a small laugh that turned into a cough.

            Evander smiled in an attempt to hold back tears and he kissed her forehead. “Just hold on, okay? I’ve got you. I’ve got you, S-Stella.”

            She nodded and closed her eyes, and her breaths slowed down to a more normal pace. “Promise?”

            “Promise,” he nodded in reply. He kissed her forehead again and kept his lips there until the cannon sounded, and he knew he had to let go. He shook his head, clutching her small, frail body to his. “Don’t go…Don’t go, please, no…Don’t! Don’t leave me!” He buried his face in her hair and cried, refusing to let go of her. The lights of the hovercraft were outside, waiting. Where was Sparrow? Where was anyone who could help him? He slowly got to his feet and took Stella outside, being as careful as possible as he set her on the grass. He kissed her forehead one more time and gave her little hands a squeeze. The hovercraft came down and he forced himself to walk away, not hearing the telltale rustling behind him.

            “There you are. Never thought you’d last this long,” a male voice grunted. Evander turned around and gasped when his throat was grabbed, and two very large hands cut off his air supply. He wriggled around, trying to break free. He couldn’t die, not now, not before seeing Sparrow one last time… His eyes met those of his attacker and he tried to claw his face. It was one of the Careers, he couldn’t remember which one, let alone his name…all he knew was that he was about to die.

            “Figured you’d be a little easier than this,” the boy snorted. His grip tightened and Evander saw spots. He saw Aurelia’s dark brown eyes. The dust and debris of the plant explosion. He saw blood spurting everywhere. He _felt_ the blood. His own? Was he dead?

            “Get off of my brother,” Sparrow growled. She had buried an axe in Rex’s throat and grunted as she tried to yank it out and get him again. The boy’s blood was getting everywhere, mixing with the rain and staining their faces and clothes red. Rex fell to the ground in a heap, twitching briefly before the cannon sounded.

            “Just us now,” Sparrow whispered, dropping her axe. She embraced her brother, the two of them sweaty, rainy, bloody messes, and it was true. It was just them versus the other two tributes. Only a matter of time before someone was on a train back home, and she was starting to believe Evander had a chance.


	24. Chapter 24

_If I weren’t so cold,_

_We could unfreeze this moment._

_And as the world grow old,_

_We’ll leave no heart unbroken._

_Tomorrow cannot be like this._

_And even though it’s such a simple world,_

_Tomorrow cannot be like this._

_Tomorrow they will take a stand._

_We’ll leave no heart unbroken._

_(AFI)_

* * *

            “Conall. Conall, wake up.” Antonia shook the large man’s shoulder in an attempt to rouse him. He rolled over and squinted, his body dwarfing the couch on which he had fallen asleep.

            “Did I miss something?” He sat up, suddenly filled with adrenaline at the thought. Had one of the kids been hurt? “Are they okay?”

            Antonia smiled and sat on the coffee table beside him, one hand still on his shoulder. “They’re okay. Sparrow got rid of the boy from District One. Just four of them left.” She looked as joyous as she possibly could, all things considered. There was a fifty percent chance that the victor this year would be one of theirs.

            Conall raised his brows and blinked. “Really?” He looked at the floor and smiled, shaking his head. “Of course she did. I knew she’d prove herself.” He grunted and pushed himself up. “Shall we have a drink to celebrate?”

            Antonia hesitated and her smile faded ever so slightly. “I…” Celebrate? Sparrow had killed a boy; sweet, innocent Sparrow had gotten her hands bloody. True, she had saved her brother’s life, but if she lived, the nightmares would forever haunt her. Just like every other victor. Just like Antonia herself.

            He nodded understandingly and went to get some punch. “I meant to celebrate how well they’re doing. I’m not completely amoral yet.” He smiled and offered her a glass, and they clinked them together in a toast.

            “Antonia Marsh?”

            Antonia almost dropped her glass and turned around at the strange voice. A peacekeeper stood there in full uniform. She swallowed a mouthful of punch and set down her glass, keeping as straight a face as she could.

            “Yes?” She put a hand on her waist, trying to seem dominant. “What is it?”

            “President Snow insists on your company in his office.”

            The thought reviled her. Company? In no way was that good. “I assume he didn’t state the reason?”

            The peacekeeper shook his head. “No, ma’am. You are to come with me and visit him. Alone.” He glanced at Conall, who stood protectively behind his co-mentor. They had formed quite the bond over the years.

            Antonia closed her eyes, inhaling slowly and then breathing out. “Keep an eye on them, Conall. I’ll be back.” She nodded to let him know she would be okay and followed the peacekeeper out.

            By the time they had reached the president’s office, Antonia had come up with a dozen possible scenarios. He could force her back into prostitution. He could force her to have surgery, to reconstruct what she had so daringly taken away from herself…

            She had done the most drastic thing short of killing herself. After winning her Games and three years of being thrown to the highest bidder, she had had enough. She went to a doctor she trusted and told him to make her undesirable. It worked, and she hadn’t shared a bed with anyone since. But Snow’s options were limited now; her entire family was dead on his orders. The only people he could use to hurt her would be Conall and the kids. The brother and sister who had made the best of their horrible situation. One of them making it out alive would be a miracle, but two…She knew it was impossible. The problem was, who would it be?

            “There you are, Antonia. Leave us.” Snow stood up from behind his desk and the peacekeeper left them alone. He approached Antonia and she tried her best not to recoil at the toxic smell of blood and roses. “I see your underdogs have made it to the final round. Congratulations.”

            She looked at the projection screen off to the side. Snow had been watching the interviews of Sparrow and Evander’s family back home, back from when there had been eight remaining tributes. It wasn’t too long ago.

            “I just want my brother and sister to come home!” a small voice chirped. Antonia swallowed at the sight of a small boy, his eyes wide. He looked so shy, but so hopeful. “They both left and it’s really bad. I miss them a lot. But I wanna hug them again!” He smiled and the camera moved to a petite, dark-haired girl. She looked nothing like the Jacturnas, and Antonia remembered her as the girl Sparrow had volunteered for. This was Evander’s wife, minus the pregnant belly.

            “Like Flynn said, we’re waiting for you to come home,” she said, her voice soft. She was holding a small baby wrapped in a faded yellow blanket. The daughter Evander had never met. “Evvie, Sparrow…We miss you so much. We’re so proud of you for getting this far, for everything you’ve done. You’re so beautiful and strong.” She swallowed and cleared her throat to fight off tears.  “Come home to us. Not much longer now, right? We’ll be waiting at the train station the second you come back.”

            Snow paused the show and smiled at Antonia. “Look at that. Quite a big family, don’t you think? Two brothers, their parents, a wife and baby…” She hated the way he said that, like he was setting his sights on them, one by one. “I must say it’s strange to see a married tribute. Not the only time that’s ever happened, of course, but still fascinating. Why do you think they married?”

            Antonia didn’t hesitate. The screen had paused on Aurelia and her baby. “Because they’re in love. That’s why people should marry. It’s why most people do.”

            “Not just because she was pregnant? You really think that?” He sounded intrigued. “People that young shouldn’t marry for love. They don’t know what it is.”

            She shook her head, those deep blue eyes still avoiding his. “I know love when I see it. I’m not like you.” Now she looked at him and it was like staring into a terrible abyss. This man had taken everything from her and countless other children of Panem, and here she was, heeding his beck and call. “You’re wrong. You don’t know the first goddamn thing about love. They’re innocent, they found some source of hope and light in this place, and you took it away! You ruined it!” She gritted her teeth, anger apparent in her usually calm voice.

            “On the contrary, Miss Marsh. I know plenty about love, and I know that it does more harm than good.” He pursed his puffy lips and sat behind his desk. “You see that, Antonia?” He pointed to the screen with one gloved finger. “That hope you speak of, it’s very dangerous. This family wants _both_ of their children home, and I cannot afford to let that happen. It’s been in the rules since the beginning, you know that. One victor. They may work together to survive, but in the end only one crown is given.”

            She shook her head and went over to his desk, slamming a fist against the hardwood. “Damn the rules! You bring them both home, and I’ll do anything you want. Swear to God.”

            Snow smiled and coughed, shaking his head. “You ruined that chance when you ruined your body. Not going to fetch me much money now, are you? Besides, if one of those beautiful Jacturnas makes it out alive…I’d like to recruit the winner. The girl especially. I’ve had several propositions from men and women alike who want her. She’s one of the most beautiful tributes in recent memory.”

            Antonia felt bile rise to her throat. “You wouldn’t dare.” Her voice was low, almost a growl.

            He smirked. “I don’t have to dare, Miss Marsh. She and her brother are dangerous for this country, as a unit. But separated, I can work with that. There needs to be one clear-cut winner each year, and if I have people in an uproar about these siblings not making it home together, I will have to make my expectations more clear. You try anything, and I will make someone pay.”

            She shook her head fervently, her mousy brown hair getting in her face. She brushed it back and swallowed. “Don’t take it out on them. Sparrow and Evander are the strongest tributes Five has had in years. Please, don’t hurt them.” She wiped tears from her eyes and smudged her dark blue eyeshadow. “I’ll do anything you want me to do. I’ll…I’ll get surgery to fix what I did. I don’t care what I have to do. Don’t touch them!”

            She imagined Sparrow coming back to the Capitol, broken and traumatized by her brother’s death. She would be patched up and re-beautified before her interview. More extravagant dresses and makeup, crowds cheering her name, a golden crown placed on her head. She would go home to District Five a victor, earning a bigger home and plenty of food for her family. She would be taken to the Capitol and forced to bed dozens of men and women who taught her how to replace feelings with money or jewels. She would lose that lovely smile, the sparkle in her eyes, the pinkness of her cheeks. In a matter of time it would all be gone. Maybe she would try to fight it and they would kill her brothers, her parents, her best friend, her new niece. Maybe she would be smart and force herself to comply, forever living in pain but allowing her family to live. Either way she would become hollow and alone, just like Antonia. Just like dozens of other desirable victors.

            “Contain the spark, that’s all I’m asking,” Snow said. He stared at Antonia, who had managed to get her emotions mostly under control. “It’s just another game, Miss Marsh. You’ll come to your senses in time. By this time next year, you’ll have another couple of tributes to root for. People are dispensable, Antonia. You’ll see.”

* * *

            Sparrow and Evander had moved out of the cave, since the hovercraft that had come for Stella and Rex had given it away. They were back in the thick of the jungle and their stomachs were growling.

            “Let’s find something to eat,” she said after hours of walking through the foliage. She took a small swig of water, being as conservative with their supplies as possible. They had salvaged a bow and a quiver filled with arrows from Rex’s body before the hovercraft came. She had given them to Evander and felt better now that they each had a dependable weapon.

            “Like what? Those mutts?” he raised his eyebrows. “I doubt I could take down one of those things.”

            She smiled and nudged him with her elbow. “You’ve got to stop that. Haven’t you proven yourself wrong a few times already? Our mentors wouldn’t like your attitude.”

            He had let himself down. He had proven to himself that not everything could be fixed and not everyone could be saved. There was Moira, Milo, and especially Stella. He used to think everything would always be okay, and that things always got better, but now he couldn’t even apologize to their lost friends. They were gone forever.

            Sparrow frowned when her brother didn’t smile in response. “Hey, what’s wrong?” She stopped walking and put a hand to his chest, making him look down at her. “Tell me.”

            He shrugged. “Just thinking,” he murmured.

            She didn’t relent. “Thinking about what?”

            The birds cawed and Sparrow shifted her weight to the other foot, arms crossed. She wouldn’t back down until she had an answer.

            “I want to talk to you, after we get something to eat.” He figured he could at least last that long, and get everything off his chest in case he died.

            She furrowed her brow and nodded. When Evander was this serious, it worried her. Her stomach twinged with anxiety and hunger alike. “Alright then. Let’s find something to eat, shall we?” She started to walk again, pushing leaves and plants aside to make a path for the two of them.

            It seemed like it had been hours when they reached a clearing, relieved to see a sizable pond. It was covered with lily pads and all sorts of small creatures were living around it. Frogs, butterflies, birds, lizards, and fish all made it seem like some strange oasis. The siblings looked at one another, silently asking if it was some kind of trick.

            “We could catch the fish,” she suggested. “It’s worth a shot, right?” Her smile returned and she was happy to welcome the distraction, not wanting to think about whatever secret Evander was hiding. “Come on!” She set down her bag upon reaching the edge of the pond and got on her knees, smiling at all of the wildlife. A white butterfly landed on her hand and she gasped. “Evander, look…Shh, be careful!” She looked up at him with a smile he recognized; it was the one she had given him as an innocent child.

            _“Evander, look!” Her small voice reached her brother’s ears and he went over to her, seeing her hold baby Arden in her arms. She was four years old, but that baby seemed half as big as her already. “I’m holding him like a mommy!”_

_Arden grunted and Sparrow gently shushed him, trying to rock him but her little arms had trouble holding him up for too long. She grinned at Evander, that smile stretching from ear to ear. Her green eyes were bright with wonder, as if she had created the little life herself._

_“Am I as good as mommy?” she whispered. “Here, you can be the daddy, and I’m mommy. And Arden can be a girl.” She giggled and took the faded pink bow out of her wavy hair, putting it on Arden’s blanket. “I’m gonna be a mommy too, you know. I’m gonna have lots of babies. Watch me.”_

Evander bent over, hands on his knees. He saw the butterfly on her right hand and smiled as well. Sometimes this little sister of his could be a full-grown woman, and sometimes she was the child he had grown up beside. She had never gotten to be a mother, though with Huxley she had been so close. They had never gotten as far as he and Aurelia did, even though they had been together for much longer. How was that fair? How was any of this fair?

            “Beautiful, isn’t it? You think I could take this one home with me?” Sparrow smiled again and slowly lifted her hand, the butterfly flapping its wings but remaining on her skin. “I always wanted someone to take care of. A pet, a baby…Flynn and Arden are gonna be all grown up soon.” She sighed and gasped again when a second butterfly landed on her, this time on her left hand. “I think they like me!”

            She was giggling again and Evander laughed with her, now sitting beside his sister. The butterflies flew off and she watched them float over to a flower on the other side of the pond. Her finger traced over the surface of the water, which was covered in green. “Look at you, laughing again. I knew you’d come back to me,” she smiled. She kissed Evander’s cheek and just like that, a hand pulled her under the water.


	25. Chapter 25

_Goodnight, to every little hour that you sleep tight_

_May it hold you through the winter of a long night_

_And keep you from the loneliness of yourself_

_Heart strung is your heart frayed and empty_

_Cause it's hard luck, when no one understands your love_

_It's unsung, and I say_

_Goodnight, my love, to every hour in every day_

_Goodnight, always, to all that’s pure that's in your heart_

_(Smashing Pumpkins)_

* * *

            Evander cried out as his sister was pulled under the water. He pushed aside their things and reached in, his eyes widening when the boy from District Seven surfaced. The boy who had nearly killed him what felt like ages ago. His shoulder-length dark hair was in his eyes and he was holding Sparrow under the water. The girl flailed and Evander saw her kicking underneath the water, all of the animals running away in fear.

            “Stop! Stop, she can’t swim!” he yelled. He reached for the boy, trying to get him off his sister. His heart pounded hard in his chest as Sparrow kept trying to kick herself free. She burst up from the water, gasped for air, and was silenced as the boy shoved her back down.

            How had they not noticed him? He must have been there and snuck into the water as they came into the clearing. Evander had to give him credit; the boy could certainly hold his breath.

            Ivo. His name was Ivo, he remembered. This was the boy who had barely uttered a sound since the day of the Reaping. If looks could kill…There was something so cold and calculating about his nearly-black eyes. He may not have been a Career, but he was just as terrifying.

            “Please let go of her. Please…don’t hurt her…” Evander fumbled with his bow, his hands trembling as he grabbed an arrow. He had some difficulty keeping it in place, but soon he had the arrow pulled back and aimed at Ivo’s head. Could he do it? Bury an arrow in another boy’s skull? They were the same age. For all he knew, this boy had a loving family waiting back home, too.

            Ivo held Sparrow up and she gasped again, her chest rising and falling with each desperate breath. Water clung to her hair and eyelashes and she looked terrified. “Evander!” Why wasn’t he just shooting him?

            “You want me to let her go? Like I let you get away?” Ivo sneered. “Not a chance.” He pulled a knife on her and held it at her throat, the jagged blade pressing against her skin. Sparrow inhaled sharply and stopped wriggling around, not wanting to cause an unfortunate accident. Her terrified eyes went to her brother and she was begging him silently. She knew killing was an awful thing to do, how it tore you apart…she knew that firsthand now. But it was either her or this stranger.

            “Guess I could have some fun with her before I finish her off.” Ivo smirked and moved his arm from around her neck to her waist. He pulled at her wet shirt, his hand traveling up her stomach. “It’d be a shame to waste her. So pretty, even without all that makeup.” Sparrow made a small whimper when his fingers grazed the bottom of her breast and he grabbed it.

            Evander fired the arrow into Ivo’s eye without another second of hesitation. Ivo screamed and Evander shot another one into his throat. He was furious, his face bright red and his teeth bared. He had never been half this livid before. Arrow after arrow flew into the other boy’s body until Sparrow could clamber ashore, free of her captor’s grasp. Evander reached for more, but he was out and the boy was already dead. He wanted him to suffer more, _more_. No one dared to touch his sister. She blurted out a sob and crawled over to her brother, wet and shaking, and buried her face in his chest. The once-peaceful water was stained with fresh blood and Evander held her close as the hovercraft got rid of their penultimate competitor.

            “It’s okay. It’s okay, Sparrow.” He kissed the top of her head, water from her hair getting on his lips. He watched Ivo disappear into the hovercraft and rubbed Sparrow’s arms in an attempt to keep her warm. Now they both had blood on their hands, but it was down to them and one last tribute. They could do it. They could survive after all.

            She had cried for days on end after Huxley died. At first she had appeared numb, the color gone from her cheeks. She hardly emerged from her room for weeks except for school. Recently she had gotten better, she had been smiling more, but he knew how badly she ached for Huxley. That boy had loved her so much.

            “Are you still hungry?” he asked after a moment, once her sobs had subsided into small whimpers and sniffles. He pulled her back so he could see her face, but she kept clinging to his shirt with her fists.

            Sparrow nodded. “Y-yeah.” She took a deep breath and slowly let it out, forcing herself to relax. What had scared her more, the fact that she had almost been killed or that Ivo was going to violate her beforehand? She touched a hand to her chest and closed her eyes, swallowing. She still belonged to Huxley.

            “I promise, I would never let anyone do that to you.” Evander pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. “Never.”

            She pursed her lips and looked up at him. “Huxley and I never…we never got a chance to…” She blushed. Her brother had seen her naked but she was too embarrassed to even discuss physical intimacy with him. It didn’t matter now that the whole nation was watching; she had all but forgotten that aspect of the Games. She wanted to tell Evander everything while they still had time together. “I wanted to, but I was scared of what might happen. Every time I tried, he…he reminded me that I was worth more than that. We wouldn’t do it until I could assure him I was comfortable.” She smiled sadly and wrapped her arms around Evander’s neck, her cheek pressed to his shoulder. Her eyes looked at the ground as if she were recalling the memory. “I kept getting scared and…then it was too late,” she swallowed.

            Her brother kissed her forehead and sighed. “Let’s get something to eat and then we’ll talk, alright?” He gave her a comforting smile and helped her stand, the two of them getting situated before they went to pull some fish from the water.

            She wanted to ask him what it was like. What was it like to have someone wearing your ring, carrying your child, sharing your bed? She watched him as he grabbed a fish and it slipped around in his hands. He gasped and she smiled, laughing as he clumsily managed to keep it in his grasp.

            “Good job, for your first try.” She frowned as she watched the fish gasp and shut her eyes so she didn’t have to see it meet its end. They had to kill – people, animals - to survive, and there was no escaping it. “Are we going to eat that raw?” She wrinkled her nose at the idea. “I guess it’s better than nothing.” Her stomach growled and she had forgotten the last time they ate. Even at home, it had never been this bad.

            Evander gave her a small smile. “I guess it is.” He broke the fish in half and offered the bigger part to his sister, who began to eat. “I’m starting to miss all those pastries from the Capitol, even if they did make me sick.”

            She smiled back and looked at her hands, which were wet with water and fish guts. What had happened? Two weeks ago she had been helping Arden with homework, cutting Flynn’s hair, and taking care of a very pregnant Aurelia. Now she was picking at the bones of fish and covered in other people’s blood. There were still flecks of silver nail polish on her fingers from her time in the Capitol.

            “Eat up, sis. We’ll be out of here soon,” Evander told her, patting her shoulder. He kissed her cheek, his lips light against her skin. She could feel stubble on his usually clean-shaven face. No doubt their prep teams would be eager to get back to work. They could erase the scars, the burns, the blood and the dirt, and the only remains of the arena would be in their heads.

            She wasn’t sure if she wanted that.

* * *

            “Things are drawing to a close,” Conall murmured. He looked over at Antonia, who watched the screen in their district’s sitting room with a pale, blank expression. Here was where they had to make a choice. He leaned forward to pour himself more wine. He was going to need it.

            Antonia hadn’t slept a wink since her meeting with Snow. How could she? There was no entirely good outcome to this. Both tributes could die and yet another Career would be crowned victor. Sparrow could die and Evander would go back home to his family, minus his sister, and have to raise a baby between interviews and mentoring. That was, of course, if Snow didn’t force him into slavery to keep his family alive. Or Evander could die, and Sparrow would be without her rock. She was already sentenced to a lifetime of prostitution, and all because she was a beautiful girl who had people she cared for. Antonia would not wish any of the outcomes on any tribute, no matter who they were.

            “Why can’t they both go home?” she whispered, looking to Conall. She moved closer to him and felt him put his arms around her tiny frame. “Why?”

            “We don’t make the rules, Antonia,” he replied, his voice soft. He petted her light brown hair, swallowing. Caesar and Claudius were discussing each of the three remaining tributes. A dark-haired girl with piercing blue eyes, Carina, stared back at him, and he knew he didn’t want Sparrow or Evander to lose to her. There was too much spite in those eyes. And now that they had killed her partner, there would be hell to pay.

            She swallowed and shook her head. “I can’t let it happen…They’re children. Just like we were.”

* * *

            The sun had almost gone completely down. Evander was resting against a large tree with Sparrow’s head in his lap. She was playing with a small button and he had been watching her for what felt like hours. Their stomachs had not growled for a while, satisfied by the fish they had eaten.

            “What is that?” he nodded toward the button.

            “It’s Flynn’s. He left it behind when…when they said goodbye.” Her voice wavered a bit and she swallowed a sudden lump of tears back. A smile played on her full lips and she eyed the tiny button in the fading sunlight. “It’s the closest thing I have to a token. I didn’t really think to bring one ahead of time, since…it’s always the last thing you expect.”

            Evander gently brushed back her thick blonde hair with his fingers. They had both dried off and were enjoying the last of the warmth before things cooled down for the night. “I never thanked you,” he said softly.

            She looked up at him, the button still between her thumb and forefinger. “Thanked me? For what?”

            He exhaled, his breath slightly shaky. “For volunteering. No one else would have…I just know it. She would have been sent here and…” He hated to think of what could have happened. Aurelia could have had the baby in the Capitol and never seen her again, dying in the arena. They could have done the unspeakable and killed the baby. Or she could have gone into the arena and had Eiko there…He couldn’t imagine. It would have been the most terrible, grotesque Games ever, and he was sure of it. There was nothing he could have done; Aurelia’s fate had been entirely in Sparrow’s hands, and she had taken good care of it.

            “I wouldn’t have let her go in,” Sparrow replied, tucking Flynn’s button back into the pocket of her pants. She looked up at her brother, seeing his eyes well up with tears. She squeezed his hand. “Now she’s home with the baby, and they’re safe. Okay? I don't want you to worry anymore.”

            He nodded and swallowed. “Thank you,” he whispered again. She sat up and put her arms around them, the two of them embracing tightly. He remembered what Huxley had told him before he died that terrible day in the power plant.

            _Give it to her. Please._

He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and cleared his throat. “S-Sparrow, I…have something for you.”

            She sat back on her calves, curious. “I didn’t know you had a present,” she said with a smile. “Did you get a parachute while I wasn’t looking?”

            _Give it to her._ Huxley’s voice was echoing in his head, as it had been every damn day since the accident. It had kept him awake more nights than not. He had waited until the very last possible moment, now, when they were facing death. To think he could have died days ago and never have given her what he was supposed to…he would have broken her heart beyond repair.

            “No, I…It’s something I’ve had for a while. I wanted to wait until I thought you were ready,” he whispered. He reached in his pocket and Sparrow watched with her brow slightly furrowed. He opened his hand and there was a simple, shiny silver ring. It was not his wedding ring. It was meant for a woman.

            “Oh my—Evander, what…” Sparrow was lost. “What is…that?”

            Evander took her hands in his and held them, his voice tinged with tears again. “Huxley gave it to me the day of the accident. H-he meant to give it to you…But…” But he had been crushed. Sparrow would never see him again.

            _Tell her I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making her wait._ Evander could see the tears in Huxley’s eyes. The cool metal of the ring was pressed against his palm.

            “He told me he was sorry. He was sorry for making you wait…I think he meant…” He trailed off and put the ring on Sparrow’s left ring finger. It fit perfectly. “He meant to marry you for so long, but he was waiting for the right moment…And he was gone before he could ask.”

            Sparrow said nothing. She looked at her hands, which were trembling. The ring was more beautiful than any of the jewels Lennox had dressed her in. This was why Evander didn’t have his wedding ring – he had left it behind in Five so he could take Huxley’s ring as a token instead. They both had made sacrifices.

            _And now_ _I’m waiting for her. Tell her that._ Huxley had smiled as he made his last breaths. Evander was the last thing he saw – his would-be brother-in-law climbing out of a debris-filled grave, carrying his last message to Sparrow.

            “H-he told me that he’s waiting for you now.” Evander almost choked, but managed to keep back his sobs. “Sparrow, he loved you more than anything. More than I’ve ever seen someone love another person.”

            As he said it, he felt a large shadow leave him. The proverbial weight was lifted from his chest and he took a deep breath. Huxley’s blood was wiped clean from his hands, the ring was on Sparrow’s finger, and she now knew that Huxley had died with her name on his lips. He could die safely now that all his promises were fulfilled.

            Sparrow sat between her brother’s legs, her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair over and over, feeling her shake as she cried. She couldn’t have spoken coherently if she tried. But there were no sobs; she was crying with happiness. Relief. She had closure.

            Huxley’s smile appeared to Evander, whether in his imagination or a dream or some other apparition. His eyes were bright again, as they always had been. He only said one thing.

            _Thank you._


	26. Chapter 26

_Say goodbye and don’t look back_  
So long to happy ever after  
You are my goodbye, goodbye girl

 _Never mind how long it lasted_  
You’re still the best thing that never happened  
You are my goodbye, goodbye girl

_(The Civil Wars)_

* * *

            It was nighttime when Sparrow opened her eyes. Evander was still asleep and she slowly peeled herself from him, carefully removing his arm from her body so as not to wake him. She mentally calculated how many tributes were left, just to make sure. Had someone besides Carina snuck by, unnoticed? No, she distinctly remembered twenty-one faces in the sky. Moira, Milo, Stella, Rex and Ivo were the only ones whose names she remembered. Everyone else was a stranger. Two more faces would have to light up the sky, and one of them had to be Carina. The problem was thinking which Jacturna sibling would make it home, while the other rode alongside them in a pale wood coffin.

            The audience would not be patient. They didn’t want to watch any more wandering around the jungle when there was bloodshed to be had. As always, it would be a dazzling grand finale. She thought of what could happen – another earthquake, a tiger mutt attack, acid rain maybe – to bring the final tributes together and watch them fight. The idea made her shudder and she looked back at her brother. His eyes moved behind their lids and she knew he was dreaming. She looked at her hand and smiled at the ring on her finger, then lifted it to her lips and kissed it.

            “I miss you,” she said, her voice just barely a whisper. She inhaled deeply and felt her agitated pulse slow down. She could do this. She could pull through. It was like Huxley was there with her, coaching her. If only she could see him again.

            A deep rumbling sounded and she whirled around, heartbeat quickening again. Storms again? Another earthquake? Some other horror? Sparrow stood up and pulled Evander to his feet. “Let’s move,” she whispered. “Evander, come on.” Her nerves were causing her voice to quaver. She grunted when he finally got up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

            The rumbling grew louder and a bright flash made everything white. A storm, and a nasty one at that. Lightning struck one of the trees nearby and they took that as their cue to run.

            “Go! Go!” Evander yelled. They had bolted past the pond and were going as fast as they could. The grass, slick with fresh rain, combined with various rocks and fallen branches to make a dangerous path. Sparrow’s bag beat against her back as she ran, panting, trying to keep up with her long-legged brother. They stood still when they reached a den that they had not seen before and Evander nearly fell over from skidding to a stop.

            Growls were echoing off the walls of the cave and their eyes widened. The mutts were back. The huge tigers, eyes red and teeth the size of human fingers, were slowly circling their new prey.

            “Evander,” Sparrow whispered. She looked at her brother very slowly, not daring to move any more than necessary. “Where’s your bow?”

            He paled when he realized the bow was not on his person. He had left it where they slept. This was communicated with a simple gulp and a shake of his head.

            There were at least six of the mutts surrounding them. Birds cawed and screeched in the treetops like a miniature audience. Sparrow took a deep breath and moved closer to her brother. “Go. I’m going to distract them,” she whispered. She kissed his cheek and grabbed the axe from her backpack. The tigers growled.

            “S-Sparrow…” Evander’s voice was heightened in fear. He shook his head; there was no way he was leaving her alone with the beasts.

            She gripped her axe tightly and uttered a small laugh. “Go on. Like hide and seek, alright? I’ll come find you. Count to a thousand.”

            He hesitated for a few more seconds and when Sparrow threw an axe into one of the mutts’ sides, he took off running. He had never run so fast in his life. It was like he had stopped breathing entirely, and his legs were all there was left of his body. He wasn’t very good at avoiding branches and leaves in the way, but he knew he had put considerable distance between himself and his sister when the mutts’ roars were gone. He stopped behind a large rock and took cover behind it, panting and hugging his knees to his chest. He had never been so terrified and alone. Even in the plant accident, he had Aurelia to run to. Now he was one of three people in a malicious arena, and one of those people was going to do anything in her power to kill him. Here he was, cowering behind a boulder in the pouring rain, having left his weapon behind. He needed Sparrow. During all this mess she had become stronger, while he had been reliant on her. What kind of an older brother was he?

            He made himself sick waiting for a cannon. One never came, so he closed his eyes and tried to breathe. This was going to end tonight, one way or another. There wasn’t much he could do about that.

            “Evander? Evander, where are you?”

            Was it Sparrow’s voice? Was it a trick? He had no idea anymore. He felt like he was going insane. He cautiously peeked over the top of the rock, squinting in the darkness.

            “It’s me, you can come out now. You can’t have gone too far.”

            It was a trick, he kept telling himself. A hologram, a mutt, an illusion…Maybe he was really losing his mind. A couple weeks in the jungle could do that to anyone.

            “Come on, Evvie…Please come out? I’m scared.”

            He sat up and saw the glint of an axe blade and some blonde hair that was darker thanks to the rain. “I’m right here,” he said, and Sparrow ran to him when he made his appearance.

            “Oh, thank God. I was so scared,” she whispered. Her voice was small and he could feel her shaking. This made his heart ache and he pulled her into a tight embrace, burying his face in her wet hair. She was crying. He would have done anything to make her stop crying, to make her stop being afraid. But this wasn’t a nightmare that could be cured with a few hugs and a bedtime story; this was their lot in life. Their luck of the draw, literally.

            “I’m here. I’ve got you,” he murmured. He kissed her temple and brushed the strands of hair out of her face. “It’s okay. Don’t leave me anymore, alright?”

            She nodded and swallowed, wiping her eyes. He had seen that pout a hundred times, and now it was breaking his heart. She was terrified and he, her strong big brother, could do nothing about it.

            “Let’s just wait it out,” he said quietly, after comforting her for a few minutes. The smile on his face was reassuring but sad. “Hmm? Running around won’t do us any good. Let’s just sit here and see what happens.”

            He was making sense. Sparrow didn’t want to spend what could be her last moments trying to escape monsters and a murderous Career. She wanted to spend her time like she had as a child – in her brother’s arms.

            “Okay,” she said with a nod and a smile. They sat down behind the rock and Sparrow leaned her head on Evander’s shoulder, having set her backpack aside. The pain in her stomach, the effects that fear and dread were having on her body, were pushed aside as well. She didn’t care anymore, and when she saw Evander’s face, she realized he didn’t either. “Evvie?” she asked, her hand on his chest.

            He looked at her and ran his fingers through her drenched hair, trying to comb it for her. “Mmm?”

            “You’re the best,” she whispered. She wanted to tell him how sorry she was for being impatient, for being selfish and jealous of all the time he had spent with Aurelia the last couple of years. She wanted to apologize for her behavior after Huxley died. She didn’t need to say it, though. He knew what was on her mind and in her heart with just one look, and he forgave her with a sweet kiss.

            “So are you, kiddo,” he said in a soft voice. He kissed her forehead and the pain went away. She was choking up, but he was making everything bearable. She would even go so far as to say she was happy. “So are you.”

            The storm had quieted down, though the occasional flash of lightning and rumble of thunder would pop up once in a while. The large trees shielded them from most of the rain, but each drop that fell onto their skin was pleasantly cool in the heat of the night. Sparrow had her arms around Evander’s torso and he had one arm draped over hers as she nuzzled her cheek against his chest. Both of them were willing to wait it out for a hundred years, if they had to.

            “I love you,” Evander murmured. He planted a kiss on Sparrow’s head and he could feel the heat from her cheeks against his skin.

            Her lips moved in reply but her words were quelled by a crash of thunder that came with a bolt of lightning. Standing about fifty feet away was the one person left in the arena that they had to defeat. Dark-haired, pale-skinned and icy-eyed, Sparrow feared her more than the mutts. She swallowed, knowing what had to be done. Evander didn’t have a weapon. It was all up to her.

            “I’ll be right back,” she whispered. She picked up her axe and got up. Evander saw how her hands trembled even as she gripped the handle. He started to stand up but she put a hand to his chest.

            “Sparrow, no,” he pleaded, but she kissed his lips like she hadn’t done since she was a little girl.

            “I said I’ll be right back,” she said again, giving him a convincing smile. She took a deep breath and as she headed to the tree where Carina was hiding, she felt like her feet were made of lead. Carina had a sword somewhere between the length of a knife and a spear. She was well-prepared. She was angry. She was trained.

            Sparrow was neither trained, nor very prepared. She wasn’t angry, either. More than anything she was frustrated. Why did this have to happen to her? Why had it been her brother? Why couldn’t she just have lived a happy life with the boy she loved? So many things had happened for seemingly no reason. Killing Carina would not solve many of her problems, but it would make for one less thing to be scared of.

            “You killed him,” Carina hissed. Sparrow’s heart beat faster as she came as close as she dared, but the dark-haired girl was not going for an instant kill. She wanted to toy with her prey. “We were going to get through this together!”

            Sparrow shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she called over the rain. As much as she wanted to hate this girl, she didn’t. She was the same age, she had come with a friend who apparently meant something more to her, and now she was fighting for her life. Carina was not the enemy. “I didn’t want to. I had to protect my brother.”

            “You should have let him die! It’d be easier on you!” The rain ran off her sword and she shook the hair out of her eyes.

            The blonde girl bit her lip. She willed her hands to be steady so that she could do what she had to do. It was her and Evander, or this stranger. Having killed Rex was not making this any easier. Now that she was seeing her opponent as human, the war in her mind was raging. _Evander. Think of Evander._ They had to get home. “I’m sorry,” she said and shook her head again. She moved closer and Carina pulled back her sword.

            Sparrow swung her axe with a sickening whoosh and Carina dropped the sword with a gasp. She kicked it aside, heart pounding. Had she won? Was it really this easy? She kept the axe pointed at the brunette.

            “I’m sorry, but…nobody comes between me and my brother.” She raised her axe for the deathblow to the neck but when it came down, it was her own blood that spilled. Carina had pulled a knife on her stomach.

            Carina gagged and fell to the ground, the axe having done its job. The cannon sounded and Sparrow dropped her weapon. Carina was dead. Evander was safe. And she…she was losing blood in a steady, warm flow. She turned to see her brother running towards her.

            “Sparrow! Oh, thank God, you’re alive!” He ran into her and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck. She grunted softly and he let go of her, not having seen the blood in the darkness. “Sparrow?” He looked down to see blood pouring from a deep, wide cut to her abdomen. He screamed and held her up under her arms, dragging her along the grass.

            “Ev…Ev, I’m…It hurts,” she whimpered. A small squeak escaped her lips as he sat down and cradled her head in his lap. He brushed the hair from her eyes, which were wide with terror.

            “Shhh, it’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna get some…some medicine, and some bandages…” He barely swallowed back bile. He wanted to throw up. The blood had stained her skin and her ripped shirt and pants. She was so cold now. Not all the sponsors in the world could fix her. “Sparrow, hold on, okay? It’s over. We’ll get you home, okay? Promise. Promise me, Sparrow, just hold on…”

            She whimpered again, her voice gradually getting weaker. She reached up to touch his face, tears welling in her eyes and rolling down her face. “I can’t,” she said weakly. She shook her head and cried out, her other hand holding her stomach. Evander put his hand on top of hers like he could hold the blood inside of her and keep it from leaving her body. “I’m n-not…gonna…make it…”

            He shook his head again and kissed her forehead, hot tears rolling down his nose onto her skin. His hands shook and he began to cry loudly. “No, Sparrow! You have to come home, remember? You promised! You promised m-me, and the boys a-and Aura!”

            Her body twitched and her lips turned almost white. She struggled to keep her eyes open, and her breaths were ragged little pants. “I d-did keep my promise,” she breathed. She wheezed quietly, having to gather her strength to speak. She stroked his cheek, her fingers leaving behind a bloody streak. “You’re going home. You’re…going home, Evvie…”

            “No, this isn’t real! This isn’t real! Don’t leave me!” he yelled, holding her tighter. He sniffled and she put her fingertips to his lips.

            “I’m not leaving,” Sparrow said with a weak smile. She still looked beautiful, despite all they had been through. He couldn’t tell if she was his baby sister, hair in two braids, or the strong young woman she had grown into. “I…I’m not going…anywhere.”

            Evander’s cries were muffled as she looked up at the sky. The storm had cleared and it was only raining a little now. There were so many stars, like the Gamemakers had painted the sky just for her. It was a nice parting gift. Short, ragged breaths left her chapped lips and after she blinked, she saw someone very familiar kneeling beside her. On one side was her brother, but now she saw Huxley on the other.

            He grinned at her and stroked her cheek, leaning in. He pressed his forehead against hers and Sparrow could feel his deep, warm laugh reverberate against her skin. “Hey, you. Long time no see.” She murmured when he kissed her lips and her eyes opened wider.

            “Huxley?” her voice cracked. She started to get up but he shook his head and gently made her lie back down. “What are you…What are you doing here?”

            “I’ve been waiting till I could hold you again. I knew you’d find me.” He held her left hand up and kissed the ring on her finger. “Little birdie…I know you missed me. I wasn’t gone, though. I was there with you the whole time. You just didn’t know,” he whispered. She looked at him and remembered just how handsome he had been – bright blue eyes, a sweet smile and thick, dark blonde hair that was soft to the touch.

            A few fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. “I did it for him,” she murmured. “He has to go home. He h-has the baby now…”

            “Shhh, I know. He knows that too, love. Don’t be sad. Don’t be scared, okay? I’m right here.” Huxley squeezed her hands and kissed her lips. “It’s time to go, baby. You don’t have to be scared anymore. Do you trust me?”

            She looked over to her brother, who was crying and petting her hair. He couldn’t see or hear Huxley. When she left, he would be alone in the arena. She hated that he would have no one by his side, no one to cry or laugh with, no one to go through the experience of being a victor with. But he had Aurelia, the baby, and the rest of their family to go home to. “I don’t want to let him go,” she whimpered, feeling Huxley wipe away her tears.

            “I know, birdie. But it’s time. It isn’t goodbye forever,” he said, his deep voice comforting. He watched as she kissed her brother with the last of her strength, and then he picked her up.

            “Goodbye,” Sparrow breathed. She could see Evander cradling her bloody body as Huxley carried her away, and she knew it was the way it had to be. It was how it was meant to be all along. And they were ready.


	27. Chapter 27

_And I am feeling so small_  
It was over my head, I know nothing at all  
  
And I will stumble and fall  
I'm still learning to love, just starting to crawl  
  
Say something, I'm giving up on you  
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you  
Anywhere, I would've followed you  
Say something, I'm giving up on you  
  
And I will swallow my pride

_You're the one that I love and I'm saying goodbye_

_(A Great Big World)_

* * *

            The hovercraft had come but Evander refused to look away from his sister. Her green eyes were still open, the light gone from them, and her lips were parted like she had died in the middle of a sentence. He felt his body shake and tears come down his cheeks, but he couldn’t hear anything. He didn’t hear the sobs and screams that tore at his throat until the hovercraft had picked up them both. He laid there, Sparrow still in his arms as they were lifted into the sky.

            “Evander,” someone said his name. He shook his head as they tried to pull him away from Sparrow’s body. “We need to clean you up and take care of you. Come on.” It was a total stranger, and all he could do was watch them pick his sister up. She had been smiling less than an hour before and now she was cold. He half expected her to hop out of the nurse’s arms and grin at him with her thumbs up. This was all just a very elaborate joke, right?

            “No,” he mumbled. He could see her wet hair and pale, bloody limbs dangling as they carried her to a different room. He grunted and broke free of whoever was holding him in an effort to clean him off. “No, don’t take her! Don’t take her! I can’t leave her!” he yelled, running down the hall. He could almost reach out and touch her, but a couple of peacekeepers restrained him.

            “We have to prepare her too, Evander. I’m sorry,” the doctor murmured. He nodded for the nurse to take her back and then she was gone.

* * *

            It didn’t take very long to patch Evander back together – physically, at least. The worst wound, from Ivo’s first attack, was almost entirely healed thanks to the medicine. The rest were cuts and bruises of varying severity. He sat silently as they shaved his face, trimmed his hair, covered up the fresh scars and clipped his nails. The worst part was watching them throw his arena clothes away, the last things that had touched his sister while she was still alive. He could see the dark red stain of her blood all over them. If he hadn’t left his bow behind, he could have defended her. He could have shot Carina in the head and they would still be together.

            After a very long, medicated sleep, he awoke in the District Five apartment. The bedding had not changed since that night before they entered the arena. His hands traveled over the cool satin material and he swallowed, remembering holding Sparrow those nights. He buried his face in one of the pillows and sniffed it, hoping to smell the sweet scent of her hair. Her beautiful honey-blonde hair…He swallowed and looked at the pillowcase when he didn’t smell her. Where had she gone?

            “Sparrow?” he whispered. Maybe if he just listened really hard, she would speak to him. All those vivid dreams and images before, and now he had nothing when he needed them most. No one. He waited for his sister to appear or at least give him a sign, but nothing came.

            Everything seemed dull and lifeless now. The bright colors of the Capitol were faded to him, certainly not as spectacular as they had been a few weeks ago. He had no appetite. He had no energy. All he wanted to do was lie in bed and wait for someone to wake him up, tell him this was all a dream.

            “Today’s the day, Evander,” Antonia whispered. She sat on the bed beside him one morning, one hand gently resting on his shoulder. “You have your last interview with Caesar and then your coronation. Then you get to go home.”

            He rolled over and saw the glistening of tears in her eyes. Even her quiet, steady voice was struggling. A small smile played on her lips but no one on the team was truly happy. Even Oberon, whose job was to be cheerful, could not look Evander in the eyes without frowning.

            “Come on. The sooner we get it over with, the sooner you can put it in the back of your mind,” she murmured. She brushed the hair from his eyes like a doting young mother. A moment passed before she continued, her voice thick with tears. “Look, Evander…I know it’s impossible to smile. I know you feel like dying. I know that guilt, that sadness…But it’s over. She did what she did, and you aren’t responsible. Please understand that.”

            He fidgeted with Flynn’s button that had been retrieved from Sparrow’s pocket. They had asked if he wanted to keep the ring, but he refused. That belonged with her, and he had already held on to it far too long.

            Antonia swallowed. She wiped away a single stray tear that had soundlessly rolled down Evander’s cheek. “I’m so sorry, Evander,” she said. “I did everything I could to help you two. Conall did too, trust me. We believed in both of you.”

            He chewed on the inside of his cheek and sat up. “Where’s Conall?” It was the first time he had spoken in ages.

            “Right here.” Evander’s eyes moved to the doorway where his other mentor was leaning, arms crossed over his chest. “Ev, she’s right. You have to move on, it’s what she would want.”

            The lanky blonde boy stood and went over to him, his face turning into one of frustration. “How do you know what she would want? You knew her for a few days!”

            Conall sighed and stood his ground. “She knew this was a possibility. She didn’t act like she was invincible, alright? She made me promise that I would at least get you home. We had to protect both of you, but especially if she died first, we had to save you. She had planned it all along, Evander.”

            He shook his head, cheeks turning red with anger. “No,” he muttered. “No, that’s not right. It should be her that’s here right now! I’m supposed to protect her! How was I supposed to do that with a score of _three_?”

            “The score doesn’t matter,” Antonia said, still watching from the bed. “It’s just a number, Evander. It doesn’t mean you’re any more or less capable. You’re stronger than a three. You just didn’t get to show your strength until the end,” she finished in a soft voice.

            He swallowed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He didn’t even care if anyone saw him cry at this point, but they were right: he had to be strong.

            “We’re going to get you home to your family. All you have to do is sit through the interview and the ceremony, okay?” Conall put his big hands on Evander’s shoulders and looked into his eyes. “We’ll all be back home. And things don’t end there, okay? We’ll always be here for you.” He smiled warmly and pulled him in for a hug. No wonder Sparrow had seen so much of Huxley in him.

* * *

            The crowd was five times as loud as they had been the first time he was on the stage. Now he was returned a victor, dressed in a handsome dark gold suit. The lights made him shine and he forced a smile on his face when he came out to his seat.

            “Now, Evander, I must confess – I don’t think many people saw you as the victor. All we knew was that you had a very low score!” Caesar’s eyebrows were raised and he leaned in for his interviewee’s reply.

            “Well, I think everyone has a trick up their sleeve,” Evander replied. His cheeks ached when he smiled, like it hurt to put up this front. He was the new golden boy and he had to play the part.

            Caesar guffawed and slapped his knee. “That’s our Evander! You seemed so quiet when we first met you. Now we know just how fun you are. Tell me, what are you most excited to do when you get home?”

            He looked at his hands and a small, genuine smile tugged at his lips. “I want to meet my baby,” he answered, and the audience erupted into a chorus of coos and cheers. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

            “I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to see her father for the first time. Though I’m sure she was tuned in to the Games, right?” Caesar smiled with his obscenely bright teeth and Evander felt his cheeks redden. The thought of his infant daughter watching a couple dozen children get slaughtered, including the aunt she would never know, made his blood boil. She would never remember, being only days old, but he knew then and there that he did not want her growing up in a world like that.

            The Capitol would not want to hear that. They wanted to praise him, this boy who had supposedly earned his life back. They wanted to laud him with money and gifts and celebrity status, and he wanted none of it. He would have thrown it in their faces if it gave him his sister back. So he went on with the show.

            “Yeah, I’m sure she’s going to grow up with lots of stories about all this,” he said with a chuckle. Acting like he was happy made his stomach hurt and he finally understood how Sparrow had felt after Huxley died.

            Caesar paused and then moved in closer. “Now, you suffered a very tragic loss, that of your sister – whom we miss dearly. She was one of my favorites this year, definitely. Right, folks?” He looked to the audience, who replied accordingly. Some of them had tears in their eyes. “So what was going through your head when you realized you had won?”

            Evander’s heartbeat sped up and he swallowed nervously. There was no way he could fake an answer for that one. “I was just wishing something would bring her back. I hoped it wasn’t real. She…She was the world to me.” He stopped to collect his thoughts for a few seconds and slowly exhaled. “I mean, I’m grateful that I’m still alive, but it’s very bittersweet. I miss her already.”

            Caesar nodded and patted his shoulder. “We miss her too, Evander. But these Games made for an excellent year and we can’t wait to see you again! Congratulations, and good luck,” he smiled.

* * *

            The coronation ceremony was worse by far. As with all other victors, Evander was forced to watch a recap of the Games from the balcony, President Snow and Seneca Crane sitting not far away. The two people most responsible for Sparrow’s death, and he had to sit among them, watching the horror that had been the last few weeks of his life.

            He felt several pairs of eyes on him as he and his sister appeared on the screen. He had almost forgotten about the tribute parade. The gold suit designed for him looked quite handsome, of course, but the one tribute who stole the show was Sparrow. Her dress was utterly beautiful. The main part was a sheer, skintight material that wrapped around her body and shone with silver embellishments. It was topped off with a gray silk covering that draped down from one shoulder to her waist on the other side. Her makeup made her almost unrecognizable. Lennox had done an astounding job with her.

            The interviews were mostly glossed over. Rex and his brash attitude made an appearance, but all Evander could see was Sparrow burying her axe in him. If she hadn’t gotten her hands dirty, he wouldn’t be alive right now. Most of the other tributes’ interviews were forgettable, but he recognized bright little Stella. She had died in his arms. Were they doing this on purpose, to torture him? He was determined to keep a straight face, to dispel the weakness and helplessness that had followed him around his entire life.

            Sparrow was beautiful, charming and sweet. He recognized the look in her eyes when she spaced out and her answers were more mumbled. What had she seen? What was she thinking? He would never know now. He watched the silver material of her dress as she left the stage, nothing short of an angel.

            Into the arena they went. The bloodbath was especially violent this year. Evander found himself cringing; he had not seen most of these people die. All he had known was that the cannon sounded and their faces were in the sky that first night. They showed the earthquake, the tiger mutts, and some of the dangers he and his companions had been lucky enough not to run into – poisonous plants, flowers with razor-edged leaves, horrendously large birds that chased tributes and echoed their screams in a mocking tone but never attacked, and at one point there was an entire group of trees that snapped in half when approached.

            It was no big surprise to find that Rex had shot the arrow into Milo’s hand and caused him to let go of Moira. The red-haired girl was rushed downstream where she was grabbed by Carina, whose sword went though her midsection in one smooth movement. She died quickly and Evander was at least grateful for that. Carina had not been so smooth with his sister; she had gutted her and caused her to suffer. The doctors had told him she probably didn’t feel anything after a few minutes, but for some reason he didn’t believe that. They would say anything to make him less angry with the Capitol.

            Tribute after tribute died on screen in front of him and when he saw Stella die, his stomach lurched. Seeing himself on the screen was a surreal experience. He felt that he might be able to reach through and grab the little girl, fix her, save her…but it could never happen. He was forced to watch her die all over again, and was no more able to help her than he had been the first time. When the grand finale came, he would have to force himself to stay in his seat.

            The boy on the screen seemed to be from a different time and a foreign place. He was battered and bruised, thin and clumsy, and a different person entirely. This version of Evander was still in a world where he had his sister. He still had hope in his eyes.

            Covered in blood, sweat and rain, they were no longer the golden siblings who had once mounted the stage in District Five. Her score of ten had done nothing for her in the end. She had been poised to win ever since her determination had shown itself.

            He did not feel any satisfaction as Sparrow brought down her axe on Carina’s neck. He had thought maybe he would, maybe it would take some of the pain away to see his sister’s murderer die, but all he felt was emptiness. The entire place grew eerily quiet as Sparrow was injured and collapsed into Evander’s arms.

            He could still feel the warmth of her blood as it spilled from her body and soaked them both. He had to look at his lap to make sure it was not still covered in her lifeblood. His hands trembled.

            Her hair was matted with blood as Evander brushed it from her face. There were so may camera angles – looking from the tree above them, a close-up of her face, a close-up of his, all eyes on this final action – but all he could see was the little girl bleeding to death in his arms. She was terrified, worse than she had ever been during storms or nightmares, but there was no bed for her to crawl into and be comforted by her brother. They had nothing but each other and the rain.

            “I did keep my promise.” Her weak voice was now projected throughout the arena where they had once been in the tribute parade. “You’re going home. You’re going home, Evvie.”

            Evander’s eyes went to the screen, where he saw his sister’s face. A small line of blood trailed from the corner of her mouth and he wanted to reach out to kiss her chapped lips.

            “I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere.”

            And then she was silent. Her green eyes were glossed over, but there was the smallest hint of a smile on her face as her last breath came and went. What had happened? Had the pain truly subsided? He touched his own cheek and felt warmth there. Hot tears welled in his eyes and the show was over. It was time.

            “Stand up,” Conall whispered, nudging the boy. Evander did so and found himself facing President Snow.

            “For your valor and strength,” the white-haired man said as he lifted a golden crown from a velvet pillow. A golden crown for a golden boy. “Thank you for representing your district so well. You uphold Panem’s values of obedience, loyalty and sacrifice. Our gratitude and our best wishes go out to you as you continue to contribute to our great nation.”

            The crown was cold as it was placed on his head. Snow’s black leather gloves touched his head in the process and Evander suppressed the strong urge to recoil. He did not want to be celebrated. He simply wanted to go home.

            “May the odds be ever in your favor, Mr. Jacturna."

* * *

            They boarded the train amidst cheers from the crowd that had gathered. Evander was glad to leave the Capitol, even though he had a feeling he would be back. He was to replace Conall as a mentor now.

            “Are we ready to go?” Conall asked, getting a nod from a peacekeeper who radioed the conductor. “We’re ready.”

            The train was off and Evander watched the Capitol disappear as they went over two hundred miles an hour. Once they had gone into the mountains, away from the glistening buildings, he stood up and put his hands in his pockets.

            “I think I’m going to lie down. I didn’t get much sleep,” he murmured to his mentors – now fellow victors. He wandered out of the car and down a few halls until he reached a sleeping car.

            It was Sparrow’s.

            He swallowed and looked up at the ceiling, his throat closing up. The closet still had her dresses inside, prepared for her to wear had she come home the victor. No one had thought to get rid of them when the Games came to a surprising end. He tentatively ran his fingers over the fabric, knowing Sparrow would have loved them. She had her choice of colors – red, dark gray, navy blue, plum, and even a pink dress he knew she would have insisted on keeping. Now they would be destroyed or kept aside, collecting dust. Maybe another girl would wear them someday.

            He looked to a different end of the car and frowned, seeing a curtain that had not been there before. Slowly he made his way over to it and pulled it aside. There was a maple box and he stumbled backwards upon realizing this was her coffin.

            “Oh…oh, God—“ He fell to the floor and backed a couple of feet away, eyes wide and heart pounding. His hands became sweaty. This was his sister’s final resting place, and of course he had found it. He had seen several of these boxes come home over the years but it had always been to a different family. His own family would receive a blessing and a curse – a victorious son in riches and a lifeless daughter in a plain box.

            “Evander?” Antonia had come into the room and stood a few feet away, paling as she saw the coffin. “Oh, god. She shouldn’t be in here. Let me get someone—“

            “No,” he said with a shake of his head. Then, firmer, “No. Keep her here.”

            The waifish young woman knelt beside him and clasped his hand in hers. Her skin was always so cold. “I need to tell you something. I don’t know if it will put your mind at ease, but you need to know.”

            He looked at her and then back at the box. He wanted to hold her and kiss her. Had they dressed her in something pretty? Was the fatal wound stitched up? He wanted her to be taken care of. Antonia’s voice brought his attention back.

            “It’s about your sister.”


	28. Chapter 28

_Older brother, restless soul, lie down_ __  
Lie for a while with your ear against the earth  
And you'll hear your sister sleep talking

_Say "Your hair is long but not long enough to reach_ _home to me  
But your beard someday might be."_

_And you'll find somebody you can blame_

_And you'll follow the creek that runs out into the sea  
And you'll find the peace of the Lord._

_(The Middle East)_

* * *

            Antonia told him about the encounters with Snow and how Sparrow would have been forced into prostitution if she had won. That was one downside to her beauty and charm: everyone had wanted a piece of her, and where there was demand, there was money and power. Evander could hardly believe his ears when she told him what Snow had threatened. Prostitution? That seemed like such a foreign concept. Now that he knew many victors had been forced into it, he had even more respect for them - Antonia most of all.

            The thought of his baby sister being made to sell her body for Snow’s benefit made him physically ill. The metallic smell of blood came back to him as he remembered the man putting the crown on his head. He now had one more reason to hate the president: Snow had intended to destroy what was left of Sparrow’s happiness.

            “She doesn’t have to suffer through that now,” Antonia whispered, holding Evander’s hands in both of hers. “And neither do you. You’ll be going back to your family, and all you have to do is come back to mentor once a year. The worst part is over.” She brought his hands to her lips and kissed them softly before standing up.

            “Antonia,” Evander said quietly. The woman paused and her long navy blue skirt rustled with her movement. “Thank you. For…everything.” His eyes were wet and the corners of his mouth turned up in a small smile. The lump of tears in his throat made it hard to swallow.

            She sighed and pushed the button to open the doors. “You owe it to yourself, Evander. And your sister.”

* * *

            The train station was a blur. Evander left the car and heard cheering and clapping grow louder as he approached the balcony where he would greet his home district. Somewhere in the sea of people was his wife. Somewhere his brothers and parents stood there, eager to bring him home. As he waved and smiled he caught sight of a small brunette girl carrying a white bundle. His breath caught in his throat and he stopped waving for a brief moment.

            “Aura!” It felt so good to say her name and have her respond. He had been crying for Sparrow the last few days but she never came. He had never expected to see Aurelia again, but here she was. “Let me see her,” he murmured, and Conall nodded to a peacekeeper. The soldier let Evander go downstairs and the crowd parted so he could go to his family.

            “Evander,” Aurelia said, her voice shaking like she was laughing. He wrapped his arms around her and felt her shoulders heave – she was crying. He pulled back, hands on her shoulders, and looked into her large brown eyes. “Oh, God, I’m so sorry. I’m s-sorry…It should have been me, but she went instead…I c-couldn’t stop her,” she stammered and a few large teardrops rolled down her cheeks.

            “Shhh, Aurelia. It’s alright.” He wanted everyone else to leave. He was tired of strangers watching his every move. He looked down at the baby in her arms and felt his heart stop.

            She was only a few weeks old, but he saw a lot of himself in her. They had the same nose. Her few tufts of hair were a caramel color. When she opened her eyes, they were a dark shade of blue. A grunt sounded from her lips and he found himself holding this tiny human being he had never seen before, and he was instantly in love with her.

            “This is Eiko,” Aurelia said quietly, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “She’s so beautiful, Evvie. I was so worried she wouldn’t be okay, I don’t know why; I suppose I was just paranoid. I didn’t want to have her without you there, but…she insisted on coming,” she said with a slight laugh and cleared her throat.

            “Evander!” It was Flynn, closely followed by Arden. It had only been a few weeks since Evander last saw his brothers, but they seemed entirely different. For one, Arden did not hesitate to hug his brother. Flynn, on the other hand, had lost the brightness in his eyes. He had wanted Sparrow to come home. Hadn’t everyone?

            Evander soon had greeted the rest of his family. He could see the tears in his parents’ eyes as he embraced them. Everything was painful and he needed to leave. “Let’s go home.”

            No one talked about the Games and for that, Evander was relieved. They had seen what happened and there was no need to ask about it. The wounds were far too fresh.

            Their new home accommodated their family much better. Arden and Flynn finally had separate rooms and Evander shared one with Aurelia and the baby. He would never have to worry about waking up his family again. It was a huge, beautiful house, but it didn’t seem like home without Sparrow. Their little light was gone.

            The coffin was brought to their house later that day, after the crowds had cleared. Conall and Antonia accompanied the simple pine box and had made damn sure there were no cameras.

            “You brought her home,” Evander said quietly. He was fighting back tears as he looked at the box. He wanted so badly to open it, to hold her one more time, but he knew that seeing her like this would break his heart even more. By now she was surely cold and pale.

            “Do you want us to stay?” Conall asked. His wife and child stood on the steps of his home across the way. Antonia’s doorstep was empty.

            Evander swallowed and touched the coffin with his fingertips. “Yes,” he finally managed. “You helped us get as far as we did. I owe you both so much.” He looked to Antonia, whose eyes welled with tears.

            “Evander? Who is it?” Aurelia came downstairs when she heard voices. She put a hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. “Hello,” she said to the mentors with a polite smile. When she realized what they had brought, she gulped. “Oh, is…is that…” She bit her lip and excused herself, disappearing down the hall.

            “I want her buried by our old house,” Evander said after a moment. He still had one hand on the coffin, like it would get away if he didn’t hold on to it. “It’s what she would want. That’s where she grew up.” He swallowed and wiped away a couple of tears before they were noticed. “They…they buried Huxley in a little spot nearby. She would want to be with him.”

* * *

            Sparrow was brought to the little yard where Huxley’s remains had been laid to rest. It was between the Jacturnas’ old home and the Fisks’. Some volunteers had dug a suitable grave and finished just in time for everyone to arrive. Both families gathered for the burial, along with Conall and Antonia. It was as large a crowd as Evander was comfortable with. Everyone had his or her chance to say a private goodbye. Huxley’s mother and father, Conall, Antonia, Flynn, Arden, the Jacturna parents, Aurelia and Eiko, and finally Evander each took the time to be with her. Evander took the longest. Aurelia kissed him before leaving him be.

            Her casket was open. She looked nothing short of beautiful. Her hair was clean and neatly brushed, resting in waves past her breasts and sprinkled with tiny white flowers. They had put her in a white dress with cap sleeves and a skirt that went almost to her knees. She looked like a summer bride. She would have loved it, being all dolled up.

            “Sparrow,” he whispered. His voice was weak and it took all his effort not to start sobbing. He pulled his chair closer and stroked her cheek. Her skin was still soft but so cold to the touch. There wasn’t a hint of blood on her. Her clothing covered up the wounds and she looked like she was sleeping. There was still that hint of a smile on her lips he had seen when she died. “Oh, God, Sparrow, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, I didn’t want this to happen…I never wanted you to get hurt. I was supposed to protect you from the day you were born.”

            He touched her hair, being as gentle as he could. He was afraid that if he wasn’t careful enough, she would shatter into a thousand pieces.

            “You’re my little sister. I don’t know how that got mixed up…I don’t know why I couldn’t be strong enough, but I wasn’t. You were, though. For the both of us,” he breathed. He held her hand and sniffed, tears freely rolling down his cheeks. “I love you more than anything. More than anything, Sparrow…I should have said it when you were still here with me. I shouldn’t have ignored you…oh, God, I’m so sorry,” he blurted again. “I hate this! I hate being here without you! It’s wrong, it’s all so wrong!” His face reddened and his fists clenched. “I took everything you should have had. You should have been the one to get married and have a baby, you should have grown up. You and Huxley both.” He held her hand and closed his eyes, taking some shaky breaths.

            He had so many dreams over the past few weeks, so why couldn’t he imagine her with him now? Why couldn’t he have her when he needed her the most?

            “I swear nobody is going to forget you. You held our family together. You were the best thing that could have happened to any of us.” He kissed her hand and decided that wasn’t enough. This would be his last chance to kiss and hold her. She would be underground until the end of the world. His stomach turned and he kissed her cheek again and again, his tears landing on her pale skin. “I love you. I won’t go a day without thinking about you, I promise.”

            After some time he decided it was best to leave, as saying goodbye was only making him feel worse. He straightened out her dress and brushed a few strands of hair from her face. He could have sworn he saw her eyes open and a smile on her lips. _Got you, didn’t I?_ But when he looked back she was still asleep, still as beautiful as a lifeless body could be. He pressed his lips to her unusually cold and stiff ones. His chest ached like he was being crushed slowly, bit by bit.

            He kissed her one last time and took a final look at her. She was at peace; that was all he needed to know. The coffin was closed and she was gone. She would want him to move on, to smile again. She had tried hard to do the same after Huxley’s death, and while it had taken some time, he knew she had finally gotten what she wanted. He had a beautiful seventeen years with her and it was time to let her go.

            He touched his fingers to the smooth pine of her final resting place. “Time to go, little bird.”


	29. Chapter 29

_Sunlight comes creeping in, illuminates our skin  
_ _We watch the day go by, stories of all we did  
_ _It made me think of you, it made me think of you_

_Oh, lights go down  
_ _In the moment we’re lost and found  
_ _I just wanna be by your side  
_ _If these wings could fly  
_ _Oh, damn these walls  
_ _In the moment we’re ten feet tall  
_ _And how you told me after it all  
_ _We’d remember tonight  
_ _For the rest of our lives_

_(Birdy)_

* * *

            Winter was hard. Despite the amenities given to them by their new home, the Jacturnas had some serious warming up to do. Arden no longer complained about homework – he didn’t say much about anything anymore. Flynn played by himself in his room and had trouble smiling without being prodded. The parents busied themselves with work at the power plant and the only person under the roof who would really talk to Evander was his wife.

            He had the same nightmare every single night. It was as vivid in the middle of December as it was when he experienced it in the arena. He saw the look of terror on his sister’s face, heard her whimpers and cries as she tried to hold on through the pain, and felt the warmth of her blood until they pried her pale body away from him. The worst part was that none of it was exaggerated. Nothing was made worse in his dreams. It had all been that horrible in real life.

            Aurelia was always there to comfort him; there was no more waking up in an empty bed. He would feel her arms around him before he was even sure that he was awake. God only knew how many hours he had kept her awake, between his nightmares and the baby’s needs, but she didn’t complain once. She never raised her voice or told him to stop, that it was all in the past and he had to let go. She never told him to snap out of it. She let him cry or yell or stay in bed for two days straight, whatever he needed to do, and it helped him cope. He didn’t have to hold anything back now that he was home with the people he loved.

            Most nights, after he had awoken, she would pick up Eiko from her crib and bring the baby into bed with them. Evander would just watch her for hours, until the sun began to rise and sometimes until it was high in the sky. The way she wriggled around, how her tiny fists and feet would punch the air like she was trying to get somewhere, how she made the softest little snores after falling asleep…he had seen Sparrow do this as a baby. He had been just a year or two old, but he saw so much of Sparrow in Eiko that it was uncanny. Eiko had never met her aunt and would only come to know her from pictures and stories, and yet here she was.

            “She loves you,” Aurelia would whisper. She would watch Evander interact with their infant daughter and it warmed her heart to see him smile again. No one could resist a baby’s laughter and her first smiles. Eiko was growing incredibly fast, it seemed, and before long she was crawling all around the house.

            Evander was not an absent father by any means. He refused to allow his grief over Sparrow to ruin that part of his life. He watched Eiko closely, making sure she didn’t tumble down the stairs or get stepped on or sneak outside. He fed her bottles while Aurelia slept, changed and dressed her, played with her and read to her. Had she and her mother not been by his side almost every waking moment, he would have gone further into dark places that no one should ever have to become familiar with. If he could no longer protect Sparrow, he could at least protect his family. He could make sure that Aurelia and Eiko came to no harm.           

* * *

            On the night before he left for the Victory Tour, Evander was awoken by a kiss, not a bad dream. The dreams had progressively become less terrible. He opened his eyes to see Aurelia above him, cupping his cheek.

            “You’re going to do a great job,” she whispered. He could see the moonlight reflected in her deep brown eyes. “Remember that you don’t have to be anyone or anything else. You’re just Evander. No matter what happens, no matter what anyone says, you belong here, and here is where you’ll return.” She brushed some of his hair from his face, his hair having grown out a bit. He looked older, more handsome. “Don’t be scared. They won’t hurt you, Evvie. Not in a thousand years.” She kissed his lips gently and felt his stubble brush against her face. He missed her and he wanted her. There was nothing bad about that; she was his wife and he was her husband.

            So they were together again in that most natural, basic of ways. He hadn’t given intimacy a single thought since before the Games, and he had never expected to feel up to it again. Aurelia was so soft and warm that he couldn’t resist. It was what his sister would have wanted. She wanted him to live the life that she never got the chance to.

* * *

            While on the tour, Evander saw so many different families. He saw old men, orphans, crying babies, parents with children of reaping age, and everything in between. The worst part was seeing the families of the dead tributes.

            Elka, twelve, and sixteen-year old Torin from District Twelve. They had died in the bloodbath.

            District Eleven had lost fourteen-year-old Petra and her partner, Fraser, who was seventeen. His sister’s age.

            Handsome, charming Milo from Ten. His eyes twinkled in his portrait. He had been seventeen as well. His partner was only fourteen. Her name was Ainsley.

            Kendrick, fifteen, and sixteen-year-old Lyra from Nine.

            Arie was fifteen and her partner, Rohmer, was fourteen. Their families stood on the platforms in District Eight, waiting for some kind of closure that Evander could not provide. He had never spoken to their children.

            When he stepped out in District Seven, he was startled by the face of Ivo. Only one man stood by the screen, and he showed no emotion. His counterpart had been a gangly, pale thirteen-year-old girl by the name of Sloane.

            District Six had lost a twelve-year-old boy named Phelan, but Evander could not take his eyes off the beautiful red-haired girl who had been reaped alongside him. She smiled in her picture, the redness in her cheeks complementing her bright blue eyes. She was still such a bright light, even after she was gone.

            The ocean was quietly lapping at the shore when Evander talked to District four. They had lost Regen and Mira, the only other tribute who was eighteen.

            Aran from District Three had been sixteen. Stella was thirteen. Evander took the longest time in Three, choking up every time he saw her wide brown eyes watching him. He could have saved her. The family standing by her picture might not be missing a daughter if he had.

            Malin and Valeria, seventeen and fourteen, had been a rare loss for Two, perhaps the district with the most victors. Evander had forgotten about them until seeing their faces. Even then, they were just a shred of a memory.

            Two killers stared back at him in District One. The smug, smirking Rex had a family of look-alike younger brothers. Sparrow had killed him to save Evander’s life, but in the end Carina had won. Steely-eyed, dark-haired, pale-skinned, she made chills run down his spine. His throat ran dry when he tried to speak. All he could see was Sparrow defending herself and slowly bleeding out because of her.

            The people of District One did not hate Evander, they hated his sister. They had cheered for her death at the hands of one of their brightest tributes, and they were quite open about their disdain for Sparrow. Evander ducked into the Justice Building as quickly as he could after finishing his speech and threw up on Antonia’s shoes.

            “You don’t have to see them again. They’re sick,” she murmured, holding his head against her chest and trying to soothe him. “We can go. We can leave, Evander. It’s over.”

* * *

            The Capitol party was mostly a blur. All the colors and chattering made him dizzy and he spent most of his time hanging around Conall, the only other man on the grounds who had dressed normally.

            “It’s a real shame about your sister, Evander. She was such a pretty girl,” one man said, shaking his head. His group of friends agreed and murmured their sympathies. “Everyone could tell how much she cared for you. I wish she could have somehow made it. I would have paid a whole year’s salary for a night with her.”

            Evander dropped his glass of punch, every drop of blood in his body running cold.

            “Wow, Ev, you really aren’t used to this stuff by now?” Conall said with a laugh. He shook his head and patted his former tribute on the back. “Come on. Let’s get you another glass.”

            The boy was livid as Conall brought him away from the group. “Did you hear what he said? About paying for my sister?” His cheeks were red and he felt like he might explode. “I can’t believe him! I want to kill him, how dare he—“

            Conall put a hand on his shoulder, getting Evander to look him in the eyes. “There are thousands of men and women who would say the same thing. They’ve said it about plenty of tributes before and they will keep doing it until the Games are a thing of the past. They won’t touch Sparrow, Evander. She’s safe. She’ll never have to know that kind of pain.” He swallowed, seeing Antonia on the arm of an older man, fighting to keep a smile on her face. “There are some fates you just can’t escape.”

* * *

            “Wake up. We’re here.”

            Antonia’s voice stirred Evander from sleep and he stood up, immediately being attended to by his prep team. It was the final stop of the tour, and what was hopefully his last train trip for a long time. They were home.

            “You got this?” Conall raised his brows once Evander was properly dressed and made up. He excused the prep team and sighed. “You look great. A lot healthier.” He smiled and put a hand on Evander’s shoulder. “I want you to do something for me, kid.”

            The sounds of people preparing for Evander’s arrival came from outside the car. Soon he would be back with his family and he could try to put this mess behind him.

            “Go out there and make what she did worth it,” Conall said, his voice a bit softer. “She gave herself up so that you could live and be happy, not spend every day in hiding. Take care of your daughter. Kiss your wife. Watch your brothers grow up. Make more kids. Hell, just…Do it for her. She loved you more than you could ever know.” He bit his lip, his eyes brimming with tears. “She loved you more than I’ve ever seen anyone love another human being.”

            Evander had never seen Conall cry before. He nodded, feeling choked up himself. “Okay,” he whispered.

            They embraced for a moment before the door opened and Oberon stood outside, smiling as usual. It was like that warm summer day when he and Sparrow had first stepped onto the train, but in reverse. One less nervous tribute not knowing what lay ahead. One more wounded victor on the way to healing. The sound of a crowd outside in the square. The sun was shining and the birds were returning for the spring.

            “Conall?” Evander asked, pausing before he moved toward the door. “Did you love her?”

            “Sparrow?” The man smiled and scratched the stubble on his face. “I think everyone who ever met her fell in love with her.”


	30. Chapter 30

_“Hope” is the thing with feathers -  
_ _That perches in the soul -  
_ _And sings the tune without the words -  
_ _And never stops - at all -_

_And sweetest - in the gale - is heard -  
_ _And sore must be the storm -  
_ _That could abash the little bird  
_ _That kept so many warm -_

_I’ve heard it in the chillest land -  
_ _And on the strangest sea -  
_ _Yet - never - in extremity,  
_ _It asked a crumb - of me._

_(Emily Dickinson)_

* * *

            I see her everywhere now.

            It took me a long time to realize just how close she was to me all this time. A few years have passed. The rebellion came, the war was won, and the Games were abolished forever. My sister has a memorial dedicated to her, just like the hundreds of other innocent children who died for a nation’s entertainment. Fresh flowers are put on her grave every Saturday, her favorite day of the week because she could spend it with us, her family. Huxley was included in that family even before he intended to marry my sister. Anyone who could make her feel happy and safe and loved was a brother to me.

            Eiko is four years old. Her eyes turned brown like her mother’s a few months after she was born, but she’s equal parts Aurelia and myself. She’s as bright as her mother and as careful as me. She knows about her aunt from all the stories we tell her and all the things we’ve kept. Her hair is long and wavy and when Aurelia helps her brush it, I imagine Sparrow trying to get all the knots out of her own hair, begging for me to help her after trying for a good five minutes. With every day that passes, Eiko grows older, and I wish I could slow down time. I dread the moment when I will have to hand her over to someone else. If he’s anything like Huxley, she’ll be in good hands. But that’s years from now.

            Even with Aurelia and Eiko, there was a part of me that refused to heal. Sparrow was no longer there, and I thought another baby might fill that gaping hole in my heart. Finally I convinced Aurelia that we were ready for another baby, and she gave birth while we were housed in District Thirteen to a sweet blonde, green-eyed girl with a smattering of freckles over her nose and cheeks. We named her Sparrow. We never even considered another name.

            Once, one of the girls started to cry and Aurelia and I were too busy to take care of her right away. Half a minute of wailing passed and just before we could stop what we were doing to check on the baby, she abruptly stopped crying. There was silence, then giggling and squealing. Confused, we both went upstairs only to find her rocking in her bassinet, grinning happily. A little songbird, perched on the windowsill, twittered and flew away.

            The Sparrow I grew up with, the little girl I spent most of my life watching over, comes to me in dreams. Every time I smell the flowers, hear a bird singing, hear my daughters’ voices, I think of her and how happy she must be now. She gave up her life here for my sake, and for Aurelia and Eiko. I think she did it for another reason too, though. I think she missed Huxley.

            She’ll never marry him and start her own family like she always wanted, but at least no one can hurt her now. I miss her more than anything, but as long as she’s safe, I’m alright with that. I used to blame myself over and over again for not helping her, not saving her from the Games, but after a while you have to learn to move on. You have to tell yourself it’s okay.

            I still have the occasional nightmare, the kind that leaves a dull pain in my stomach for the rest of the day. I hear her crying and I can’t find her, or I watch as Ivo grabs her in the water and I am glued to the ground, helpless.

            _“I’m right here,”_ she whispers in my ear and I sit up in bed, reaching for her, but she’s gone just as quickly as she came. I might be insane, I might be imagining things, but I couldn’t care less. I’m still holding on to my sister after all these years.

            Seventy-five years of the Games have brought clever strategies, tearful ends, budding romances, and everything in between. Some of the kids are brutal and violent, some are terrified and defenseless like me, but not many of them are like Sparrow. She could have easily been lured by the promise of a new, luxurious life and someone to love her like I never could, but she turned down every chance at that. Instead she gave herself up for me. Sometimes I still feel guilty, or confused, or like it was all a chaotic accident. I can’t talk to her face to face, but I can feel her. I don’t always get to hear her voice, but she’s there. I know she is. I can feel her telling me that for everything there is a reason.

            She says her reason is that she knew she would get to see me again someday.

* * *

            Many years later, when the girls have married and had children of their own, I’m asleep next to my wife. Something causes me to jump and when I open my eyes, I don’t see Aurelia, but a chubby four-year-old grinning at me. I look down at myself – no longer an old man with gray hair and weary bones, but a boy of almost six. I remember these pajamas, which are a dusty blue color and have a button missing from the shirt.

            “Evander! You’re up!” the blonde girl squeals at me. She wiggles closer and I see her wavy hair is in pigtails. “I wanna go play. Do you wanna go play?”

            I blink, confused. It’s still dark outside; I can hardly make out her little frame in the moonlight that comes in. “It’s bedtime, Sparrow. Go back to sleep.”

            She grins. “No, I can’t! Not when you’re up! Come on, let’s play,” she says in her tiny voice. When she pats my cheek I feel her baby-soft skin on my own, and it’s like I really am back in our old house all those years ago. “Evander,” she whines, “don’t you love me?”

            I roll my eyes and smile at her. “You know I do. You’re my baby sister.”

            She holds my hands in hers, her grip gentle but intent on keeping me close. Her face turns more serious, and before I realize it has happened, she ages by a decade. So do I.

            “Then come with me,” she says, her voice that of the young woman she is. The twinkle is still in her green eyes; the freckles are still scattered over her cheeks and nose. Her hair is loose and falls past her shoulders. “Come on. Take a chance for once in your life, won’t you, Ev?”

            She squeezes my hand and I squeeze back. Her forehead is pressed against mine and I sigh. “Sparrow…is this real?”

            She smiles and cups my cheek in one hand. “Stop asking questions and just come with me.”

            “I miss you so much,” I whisper as we both sit up. She pulls me into her arms and kisses my cheek.

            “I know you do. But I don’t miss you.”

            I frown and look into her bright eyes. “That’s a heck of a thing to say.”

            She grins and kisses my lips very softly, then my cheek. “I’ve waited years and years for you to come back to me. All I wanted was for you to be with me again, just like old times. I wanted things to be perfect again. I know how much you missed me and it tore me apart, but…I didn’t miss you. I would go a thousand years longer, if I could, just so you wouldn’t have to let go of the family. You know why I don’t miss you, Evvie?”

            She purses her lips and I can see tears starting to form in her eyes. Both her hands are on my cheeks now and I swallow back my own tears.

            “Because I never left you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking with this story. It's been a wild ride these past two years, ever since I first came up with the idea, but I hope that Sparrow and Evander's story will stick with you for a long time. They mean a lot to me, especially since this is my first full-length, finished, published work. Thanks again :)


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